Throttled

“Hi,” I said, leaning toward her. She’d walked off the dance floor and met me against the back wall of the bar.

“Hi.” She looked up at me. Her eyes glassy from the alcohol she’d been drinking. She steadied the sway in her stance, resting her hand on my arm. The feel of her hands willingly on my body felt nice. The tight jeans and low-cut bright blue shirt she was wearing wasn’t helping the noble route of just saying hi I’d been planning on taking.

“You look like you’re having fun.”

“I am,” she lilted. “I needed a night out with the girls.” She looked over her shoulder at her group of friends who were oblivious to the fact that one of their own had snuck away from their party. “What are you doing here?”

“Truth?”

“Always.”

“I came to see you,” I confessed. “But, I don’t want to spoil your fun.”

“You’re not.” She shook her head and smiled. She tugged at my shirt. “You want to dance?”

“That’s probably not a good idea. Unless of course you’re single now. Then I’ll dance with you all damn night.”

“I wasn’t single when you kissed me the other night,” she replied, mischievous gleam in her eye.

“How much have you had to drink?” I asked, earning a grimace from her. She grabbed my hand and tugged me out the back door of the bar to a small patio littered with cigarette butts and empty beer cans. The door closed behind us and dampened the loud blare of the music.

“Does it really matter how much I’ve had to drink?” she asked, trailing her hand up my arm. She took a step toward me as her hand found the nape of my neck, her fingers twirling my hair. I closed my eyes for a second, unable to look at the seductive pout of her lips, and took a deep breath.

She’s drunk. This is not what you want. I felt the need to remind myself that kissing her senseless would be a terrible idea. I didn’t want her to choose me when she was clearly inebriated. I wanted her choice to be with me to be a conscious decision.

“What are you doing, Nora?”

“Isn’t this what you want?” she asked, pressing her body up against mine. “Isn’t this what you’ve been fighting for?”

“Not exactly,” I managed to say as she pressed her lips against my neck. The feel of her curves pressed against the hard plane of my chest and her hand creeping up under the shirt I was wearing was making it very hard to think clearly. I told my dick to retreat, but it completely ignored my request. My hands found her hips and I knew it was a bad idea.

“You want to be my dirty little secret,” she said into my ear. “Until you leave again?”

What the fuck did she just say?

“Excuse me,” I said, placing my hands on her waist and pushing her back enough to look her in the eye. “You think that’s what I want? Just to fuck around with you,” I seethed. “You’re drunker than I thought.” I took her hands with mine and removed them from my body.

“We both know that you’re leaving soon,” she argued.

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean all I want to do is sleep with you. I thought you understood that. I want more than just a quick fuck behind a bar and to be some seedy affair under your boyfriend’s nose.” I took a step back and ran my hands through my hair. “Jesus, Nora. Is that all I’m worth to you?”

“Don’t get pissed at me,” she spat. “You’re the one who kissed me the other night, remember? You’re the one who keeps taunting me. Begging me to do something I’m not ready to do.”

“I think I should go,” I told her, unable to look her in the eyes. “We’ll talk about this when you’re sober.”

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