Tears wobbled over my retinas, but I sniffed them back.
He tipped my head up, kissing me. “Promise me you won’t shower for the rest of the day. I need to know a part of me is still with you, even though I’ll be locked up in here.”
“Of course.” I threw my arms around him, hugging him so damn hard. “God, I hate this so, so much.”
He hugged me back, squeezing me until I couldn’t breathe. “I love you.”
And then the guard knocked on the door. “Ten minutes. Get ready to go.”
Penn let me go.
We dressed in silence.
We kissed goodbye in pain.
We separated in agony.
Letter from Penn
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I DON’T KNOW how you knew, but you did.
You knew I needed a reminder on how to fight. You knew I needed to taste and touch you, not just talk to you across a fucking table.
The fact you knew that—that you managed to find a way for us to be together—proved I was right to fall for you.
You’re everything I want and everything I need.
Because of you, I feel strong again.
I won’t give up.
I won’t let those bastards win.
Tell Larry I’m ready to take him down. I’ll testify if he gathers the evidence. I’ll do whatever it damn well takes to get out of here and be with you.
Because one thing’s for sure, Elle—that night in the alley, I wanted to keep you.
After last night, I want to fucking marry you.
Letter from Elle
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FROM FAKE ENGAGEMENT to prison letter proposal, your romance never fails to astound me.
I think you know I won’t argue this time. In fact, if you tried to walk away, I’d use everything at my disposal to convince you otherwise.
Your letter took a week to be delivered.
A week where I couldn’t stop thinking about you and how good it felt being together.
All my life, I’ve had privilege. I thought I never took it for granted, but I know now that I did. I’m grateful for the staff who do what I tell them. I’m thankful for the company that gives me power.
But none of that experience helps me help you.
I’m going out of my mind, needing to do something.
I spoke to Greg when I probably shouldn’t have. I told the press you were innocent when I should probably have kept my mouth shut.
You’re in there because of me, and I can’t help.
Do you know how helpless that makes me feel? So pointless. So useless.
Knowing I was able to remind you to keep fighting helps me keep fighting because missing you is the most exhausting thing I’ve ever done.
But it’s worth it.
Because that night in the alley, I needed you.
But after last week, I can’t imagine life without you.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Elle
I TOLD LARRY about Penn’s readiness to go after Arnold Twig.
I’d never seen someone go from already working manically hard to increasing his energy until it reached chaotic proportions. He was a salt and pepper whirlwind with vengeance on his mind.
It didn’t matter that he muttered about not being able to combine one trial with another—unless he could prove Arnold Twig’s corruption affected this arrest and not just prior ones. It didn’t matter that he mumbled about how tricky it would be to prove Penn’s innocence on all accounts and expunge his prior convictions.
He threw himself into the task as if he’d been waiting for Penn to give the go-ahead for years. Which, according to another distracted reply, he had.
I asked why he hadn’t gathered this evidence before so he’d be prepared for when Penn finally chose the right moment. He’d said evidence like this would poke the hornet’s nest. He wouldn’t be able to gather it without someone noticing, and when someone did, Arnold Twig would know.
It was risky to hunt for answers and prove Penn was innocent all while still in jail where Twig would bury him. But according to Larry, Twig had friends on the police force and a few corrupt district attorneys, but he hadn’t been able to bribe the head warden yet, so technically, Penn was as safe as he could be.
We just had to hope that the judge who would preside over the case wasn’t bought and paid for.
Life—as much as I hated it—had to continue without Penn.
Ever since our night together, it had become harder and easier in equal measure. Harder because I missed him so much my bones ached with it. He’d injected himself into my veins with no promise of another hit. And easier because by giving him strength, it gave me strength. I didn’t do anything reckless like try to have Greg murdered or go on some silly TV program with conspiracy theories.
I kept my eyes locked on the future—on a trial that would eventually have to move forward, despite lost paperwork, internal delays, and every other excuse they’d given us up until now about why Penn hadn’t been granted a trial date.
Despite having no date to fight toward, Penn and I wrote often. We got to know each through ink and paper rather than voice and language. I found out he had a sense of humor hidden beneath his suspicious outlook on the world. That he could be self-deprecating behind his surly attitude.
That sickly feeling I’d had after his lies unraveled was gone now. With every note, every phone call, every snatched meeting with prison guards and escorts, my heart increased with shots of helium, slowly floating, becoming weightless until it bounced on a string tied to my ribs.
The three-year-old lust I had for him as Nameless and the four-month-old attraction I had for Penn finally merged. The infatuation I had with him irrevocably switched to love. That love (although new and fresh) morphed into a solid protector that would accept anything, tolerate everything, and care for him unconditionally. It made me grow up.
I was no longer a girl masquerading as a woman.
I was all woman, and if Penn was ready to take on the chief of police, I was ready to stand behind him and give him all my power, wealth, and notoriety to make that happen.
Four months to the day of my abduction and Penn’s arrest, Larry called me—like he did most days with requests for help, updates on Penn from my point of view, or just catching up to see how I was. However, this phone call smashed through our limbo of waiting. Making everything we’d worked for become real.
“One month from now,” Larry said, breathless with adrenaline. “Best I could do. Finally heard back.”
Tears welled in my eyes. One month? Four more long weeks?
But what was four weeks compared to three years?
“That’s wonderful.”
It’s too far away.
“I’m so happy.”
I’m gutted.
“He’ll be home soon.”
Just focus on that.