No matter how much money I had or how much time I could steal, I could never show her how much I’d fallen in love with her.
Her eyes glossed with shock as she looked at me—truly looked at me and saw past my guards and barriers to the agony I was in. “I don’t know what to say.”
Even my teeth ached from sitting so close and not having her. “Then don’t say anything at all.”
“But...I have to. I have to find a way to thank you. To show you how grateful—”
Gravity was the last element to smash my self-control. The couch cushions, long since broken in by prior sitters, collapsed beneath me. My hipbone collided with hers; our legs flush against each other.
And that was it.
My hand ignored my half-hearted command not to touch and soared up to capture her cheek. “I’m the one who’s grateful.”
“But—”
“No buts. I need to say this...” My fingers tightened on her skin, already craving more. I denied those urges. I hadn’t planned on this. I didn’t want to strip myself down to the bone. But holding her cheek, staring into her mask-rimmed eyes with rubies dangling like tears beneath, I couldn’t hold back anymore.
“I need to tell you how sorry I am. That I ran from the prison because I finally saw how you must see me.” I shook my head in dismay. “After so long in silence, why did you give me what you never gave him? Why let me do the exact thing he was trying to do?”
She frowned as if in a dream she couldn’t understand or control. “You were never like him. Ever.”
“I was. I am. I told you at the start I was after your mind rather than your body. I didn’t know why at the time. I blamed it on my need to conquer things I didn’t understand, but now I know different.”
Her skin heated beneath my palm. “Know what?”
Running my thumb over her bottom lip, I whispered, “Isn’t it obvious?”
The tip of her tongue tasted my finger, sending a full convulsion through me. Her voice echoed with every desire I felt. “Not to me.”
I squeezed my eyes, fighting every bellow to kiss, to touch, to take. I’d started this. I had to finish it. I had to tell her the truth. “It’s because I’m in love with you.”
She gasped, jerking in my hold.
I could stop there.
I could kiss her and show her through actions just how true that was. But now I’d opened the vault, I had to tell her everything.
Everything.
Pressing my forehead against hers, our masks crinkled and joined. Feathers from hers and silk from mine, both of us disguised but still so aware of who the other was. So aware that we’d found each other, despite all the shit in the world.
My voice thickened as she grabbed my wrist, holding me while I held her. “I think I fell in love with you the first moment I saw you. When you refused to shake my hand. When you stood naked and daring me to hurt you. When you pushed away my penny for your thoughts. Fuck, Pim...”
She trembled, the penny bracelet on her lap dancing with light from the fire. My voice reverberated around the room, not fading. The damning words that I was in love with her echoing in every corner.
“I fell in love with you when you swam with me in the dark. I fell when you shared the storm with me. I fell so many fucking times for you, Pimlico, and I don’t know how many times I still have to fall.”
I scrambled for other things to say—things to fill the terrible silence of her not saying anything. I was weak. I’d just flayed open my heart, and I didn’t know if she was happy or upset.
Pulling back a little, I studied her.
For once, there were no answers or secrets for me to claim.
Caressing her cheek, I dropped my gaze to the penny-diamonds nestled in her skirts. “I just told you I’m in love with you, yet you say nothing. Is my loving you a bad—”
Tearing her face from my hold, she slammed the jewellery box closed, tossed the bracelet onto the floor, and crushed her mouth against mine.
One second, we were separate.
The next, we were one.
Heat.
Wet.
Connection.
My brain forgot letters and language and reverted to touch and taste.
Goddammit, she shouldn’t have done that.
I lost it.
Well and truly lost it.
My self-control from the past few days broke, and I kissed her back.
Fuck, I kissed her back.
Grabbing her jaw, I angled her closer. Her mouth opened, her tongue welcomed, and we fell together. She tumbled backward; I tumbled forward, smothering her on the couch.
Our mouths fought, our tongues danced, our breath threaded together. I’d never been so diabolical in the way I attacked, and she’d never been so ferocious. We battled, we fought, our legs tangled in her dress, her hands everywhere at once.
I kissed her deep.
I kissed her hard.
My hips thrust of their own accord as I climbed on top of her and pressed every inch of my agonising body against hers.
I needed her.
Goddammit, I needed her.
Our lips slipped and bruised. Our teeth nipped and gnawed. We devoured each other, uncaring about dresses and tuxes and the fact this was not our house.
Shit, this isn’t our house.
We weren’t free to do this here.
We weren’t alone.
We weren’t safe.
It was the only thing that saved her.
Saved me.
With a feral groan, I pulled away. My breathing was wild, my cock punching the waistband of my trousers. All I wanted to do was take her. Over and over again. The obsession had sparked, and no way in hell was I satisfied from one kiss.
I wouldn’t be satisfied from one touch or thrust.
I wouldn’t be satisfied until we both passed out from sexual exhaustion.
That can’t happen.
I couldn’t hurt her in that way.
Sitting up, I cradled my head in my hands, digging fingers into my temples to hold off the addiction.
The cushions shifted as Pim moved from lying to sitting. She didn’t touch me even though I tensed for it. For the longest moment, she stared while I kept my eyes locked on the rose and gold carpet beneath my shiny leather dress shoes.
Our kiss was a living, breathing thing, far too alive and just waiting for a spark to rekindle.
My muscles begged me to grab her and finish what we started. Screw the fact that this wasn’t our home. Fuck the fact that hundreds of guests partied down the hall.
But I couldn’t because who knew what state I’d be in if I let go. If someone heard Pim’s screams when I took her again and again. If a Hawk family member had to break down their own door to save Pim from my addictive rutting.
The pain of not having her was brutal. But it was better than the pain of taking her with no way of stopping.
Pim rustled beside me, but I didn’t look. I focused on the swirls of gold thread, following the handmade carpeting— But then the carpeting was obscured by red and blue satin as Pim slid to her knees in front of me, ducked beneath the cage of my arms and wrapped hers around my neck. “You just told me you’re in love with me, and you only kiss me once?” Her voice caressed my lips as she added strength to her touch, guiding me down toward her. “Is kissing me such a bad—”
It was my turn not to let her finish.