“I’m not sure,” I said. “Until recently I couldn’t remember anything from that night. But…but I remembered it all during the movie.”
“Are you seeing anyone?” At my confused frown, she added, “I mean like a therapist?”
I shook my head. “I saw someone after the murders. He told me I had dissociative amnesia and that I might or might not remember what happened. I decided to go with the might-not-remember option and avoided seeing anyone after that.”
“Maybe things will get better now that you remembered what happened. But there’s also a good chance it will only get worse unless you talk to someone. My friend struggled with guilt because she thought she should have done more to save her family. The guilt almost killed her. If you want, I can find out who she talked to.”
“Thanks. I’d like that.” She was right. I couldn’t keep living like this. Not if I wanted a life with Hailey in it. I couldn’t keep hiding from what it was doing to me.
We talked for a bit longer. Like Alyssa and Hailey, Monica was easy to talk to. But that was probably because she just saw me as a regular guy. I wasn’t some rock star she was fangirling over. She was used to being around celebrities.
She checked her phone. “The movie’s almost finished. You ready to join Alyssa and the media circus?”
Chapter 42
Hailey
I flopped down on the couch and turned on the TV, needing a distraction from everything that had happened lately: the coma, Nolan returning to Northbridge, the amnesia, falling in love with him even more than before, the attack, Nolan leaving, his relationship with Alyssa, Chris’s death…
To sum it up, I needed a distraction from life.
On the screen, a mob of people stood behind a roped-off area. The picture then flashed to a limo and Michael Seger, one of the sexiest actors around, appeared from it.
His fans spotted him and the intensity of their frenzied shrieks jumped up a notch. He waved at the crowd, further exciting them. The guy should come with a warning: Caution: risk of ringing ears when you stand too close to my fans.
“What’s all the screaming for?” Kayla handed me a soda and made herself at home on the other end of the couch.
“Michael Seger. Who else would it be?”
She threw me a look. “Oh, I don’t know. Your boyfriend’s pretty hot too.”
“Nolan isn’t my boyfriend. News flash: in case you haven’t noticed, he’s back in L.A. now.” With Alyssa.
“That’s only ’cause you didn’t have the guts to go with him. And if he isn’t your boyfriend, then why did you turn down that guy who called to take you out for coffee?” She meant Craig, the man I’d met the day Nolan stopped to fix the flat tire for the man’s grandmother.
“Because I didn’t feel like going out with him.” My heart wouldn’t have been into it, and it wouldn’t have been fair to let him believe he had a chance with me. “And because Nolan didn’t ask me,” I said, responding to her first comment about me not going to L.A. with him.
“Ask you what? To marry you?” The exasperation in her tone surprised me.
“No, but I didn’t want to move there if I had no idea if he wanted to be my boyfriend for real. I didn’t want to give up my job for nothing.”
“So why didn’t you ask him?”
Right. Like I was going to do that. I wasn’t one of those people who got off on rejection. Although in retrospect, it couldn’t have hurt any worse than it did now.
“I’m serious, Hailey. Instead of moping around feeling sorry for yourself, you should ask him if he wants you to move to L.A. to be with him.”
“In case you haven’t noticed, he’s dating Alyssa Graham.”
She shrugged in a way that said, You know they’re not dating for real. Or maybe they officially were now. Everyone, according to the media and fan sites, agreed they made a gorgeous couple.
“Oh my God,” Kayla breathed, her eyes wide as she gaped at the TV.
I turned to see what was wrong. The entertainment news was still on the same event, but now the reporter was interviewing Nolan and Alyssa.
My heart practically stopped beating at the sight of him. It was the first time I’d seen him in a tux, and wow wasn’t enough of a word to describe how hot he looked in it. And when combined with his sexy smile, there wasn’t a single fan at the event who wasn’t swooning. Nolan normally looked mouthwatering in his usual faded jeans and body-hugging T-shirts, but Nolan in a tux was beyond rocker-boy sexy.
And that only made my heart hurt more.
“Not to be crass or anything,” Kayla said, still staring at the TV, “but I think I just came in my panties from looking at him.”
Despite Nolan being with Alyssa, who looked more gorgeous than I’d thought was possible (a fact that wasn’t lost on my poor heart), I chuckled. “I’m sure your boyfriend would appreciate hearing that.”
Kayla made a scoffing sound. “Are you telling me you didn’t just cream your panties?”