I looked down at the girl I loved, and my heart almost broke in two. Whoever had attacked her had done a number on her, but behind the bruised, puffy face and the thin oxygen tube attached under her nose, she was the same beautiful girl I remembered. The same beautiful girl I had known, deep down, I would return to when the time was right. Once my life was less complicated with the band and touring. Once I no longer feared reliving the memories from the night I’d lost my family.
Her long brown hair was still shiny and inviting. I itched to stroke my fingers through it to see if it was as silky as it had been five years ago. I longed to lean close to her and see if she still smelled like my favorite sugar cookies, sweet with a hint of vanilla.
“What do you want to make?” she had asked me just before our last Christmas together. We’d been standing hip to hip in her parents’ kitchen, poring over a recipe book while she took a break from her studies. “Gingersnaps or chocolate chip cookies?”
“If we make star-shaped sugar cookies,” I said, fighting the craving to kiss her, to let her know how I felt about her, “then we can decorate them.”
She giggled. “You mean then you can eat all the frosting.”
I’d smirked. “That too.” Hailey had known me too well.
“What happened?” I asked her mom now. “Do the cops have any leads?”
With her gaze on Hailey, Mrs. Wilkins shook her head. “The last we heard from her was when she was at your house. My husband had asked her to go there and locate some information off a legal document he said you needed.” I knew about that. My lawyer had contacted him because I was considering finally selling the place. “She found it, told him what he needed to know, and then was headed out to meet up with someone before going to work. She never showed up at the sports center for her shift.” She wrapped her arms around herself. “They found her and her abandoned car in Westgate.”
“Who was she supposed to meet?”
“She never said, and Jim didn’t think to ask.” She gave me a small smile. “It’s good to see you back. Are you going to be here for long?”
Apparently Hailey had never told her mom that after I’d left the college town, I ignored Hailey’s attempts to communicate with me. She’d never told her mom how I had treated her like she’d never existed, as if she’d never consumed my waking thoughts all this time.
I continued watching Hailey’s slow, rhythmic breathing. She looked peaceful. A princess sleeping until true love’s kiss woke her up, like in Hailey’s favorite fairy tale. I wished it had been as simple as that.
“I’m not sure yet.” I wasn’t sure if Mrs. Wilkins was asking how long I’d be staying here in the hospital or in Northbridge, and I couldn’t be bothered to ask which one she meant.
I finally looked back up at her. Her eyelids were drifting shut, and I was surprised she was still standing. “Have you gone home at all since she was admitted?”
She shook her head and glanced at her daughter.
“You should go home and get some rest. I’ll stay with her until you get back.” What I really wanted was to be alone with Hailey so I could apologize for all my screwups. But I’d only do that while she was in a coma and wouldn’t remember everything I told her once she woke up. At least I didn’t think she’d remember.
Her mom smiled at me, the effort weak at best. “Thanks for coming, Nolan. It will mean everything to her.”
I didn’t believe that, but I nodded anyway.
Once I was finally alone with Hailey, I leaned down and brushed my lips against hers, doing the one thing I’d fantasized about for as long as I could remember.
As expected, Hailey’s eyelids didn’t flutter open like in the fairy tale.
I took the seat her mom had vacated and wrapped my fingers around the hand free of the IV, then brushed a stray strand of hair off Hailey’s face.
“Hey, Forget-Me-Not,” I said, using the nickname I’d given her when we were kids and she had been obsessed with the tiny blue flower. “I’ve missed you.” I gently stroked my thumb against the back of her hand. “I’m so sorry I blocked you out of my life. Just know that I didn’t want to, but I couldn’t survive here anymore and…and I knew you deserved better than me.” I glanced back at the flowers. Funeral flowers. “I couldn’t take the pressure of trying to remember that night…nor did I want to remember it.”
All I could hope for was that my return to Northbridge wouldn’t drag me back into the nightmare.
That my return wouldn’t trigger the memory of the night my mother and sister died.
Chapter 5
Hailey
I was dreaming.
That was the only way I could explain it. I could hear Nolan’s voice in my head even though it couldn’t be him. The guy who’d been my best friend, who’d always known how to make me laugh, and whom I’d been falling for, had moved away five years ago and had never spoken to me again.
No, this guy’s voice definitely did not belong to Nolan.
I wished I could even pretend it had been a long time since I’d seen him, since I’d heard him, and that was why my memory wasn’t so clear. But that would be a lie. Ever since his band started getting radio time, I’d paid attention to everything that was Nolan. Except now he was Tyler Erickson.
A guy I didn’t recognize, but a guy I missed all the same.