‘Maddie loves Marmite in her sandwiches,’ I say into her hair. ‘And Jacob likes—’
‘Peanut butter,’ she sniffles, dragging her heavy head up until she has my eyes.
I smile, taking her hands and holding them between our chests. ‘I’m with you all the way, baby. High and lows, good and bad, I’m here by your side. To help you, to wipe your tears, to love you. I love you so fucking much, lady.’ I kiss her cheek, hovering there for a few seconds, inhaling her into me. ‘Never give up, do you hear me? We have too much to fight for.’
Her little sob is one full of emotion and relief. ‘Falling in love with you again was easy,’ she murmurs, so quietly. ‘This, though. The children. I love them. I didn’t need to fall, I just looked at them and knew. But part of being a good mother isn’t just loving them unconditionally. It’s knowing them inside out. What they like, what they hate.’ Her eyes close, her reality too much to bear, and I clasp the back of her head gently and tug her into my embrace. ‘I feel more lost now than ever. Just the look on their faces when I get something wrong.’
‘Stop it,’ I order. ‘Right this minute.’
‘I just hate disappointing them.’
‘You don’t disappoint them by forgetting what shit they like in their sandwich or what they have for breakfast. The only way you could disappoint them is by not loving them. By giving up. Am I going to have to take you upstairs and give you a Reminder Fuck?’ I’m deadly serious, too, so she better not question my threat.
‘A reminder?’ Looking up at me, she sniffles through a little laugh.
‘Yes, a reminder.’ I stand and she slides down my front to her feet. Slowly. Her palms on my bare chest. Her gaze there, too. Lust-filled. I smile on the inside, because no matter how shit the timing is, I’ve distracted her from her downheartedness, and for that I will never apologise. Distracting her has always been my area of expertise. I’m so thankful that’s not lost. Placing my hand between her thighs, I cup her, forcing her to breathe in deep.
‘Jesse.’ Her voice cracks with the fiery passion displayed in her brown eyes, though she makes no attempt to escape me. I drag my hand up to her hip on a smile and clamp lightly down on her tickle spot. That breath she was holding spills free, though she doesn’t move a muscle.
‘Tell me you’ll never question your capabilities as a mother again,’ I command, flexing my hand just a fraction to give her a hint of the torture she’s about to endure should she deny me. ‘Go on, baby.’
‘I’ll never question it again.’ The words pour from her mouth fast, hardly audible.
I pinch down and she bucks on a sharp squeal. ‘What was that?’ My smiling face gets close to her scowling face. ‘Say it again. Slowly so I can hear you.’
‘I’ll. Never. Doubt. Myself. Again.’ The second she’s spelled out my demand, she sucks in more air and holds it, waiting, bracing herself.
I hold her on the cusp of anticipation for a few moments, before shifting my hand to her thighs again and going in for the kill, slamming my mouth to hers and walking us to the nearest wall. This weapon, my ability to bring her back around, to distract her from some of her misery, is all I have, and I’ll use it with no remorse or hesitation. The feel of her soft boobs squished against my hard chest, every curve she has melding into every sharp muscle on me, ramps up my need.
Not great when the kids are within screaming distance. Not great at all. It doesn’t stop me attacking her lips with force, though, exploring her mouth as keenly as she’s exploring mine, her fingernails ravaging my shoulders and back, her whimpers of pleasure sinking into my brain and making my head spin with want rather than frustration.
‘Later.’ I bite on her lip and tug back, until it pops free of my teeth. ‘You are at my mercy, lady.’
‘Aren’t I always?’ Firm fists grab my hair and yank, pulling me back onto her mouth.
‘And don’t you forget it.’ We’re all clashing lips and teeth, rushed and clumsy. She thrusts her hips forward, catching my tented shorts.
‘Dad!’ Maddie’s shrill shriek lands in the kitchen with a bang and bats down my throbbing cock. Just like that. ‘Dad!’
I fold, unimpressed, though Ava laughs, taking the edge off my annoyance. Having her to myself, albeit traumatic at times, was a rare treat. Being able to indulge her when I wanted was a blessing, especially given the circumstances. That connection was key. Not having to worry about being caught by the kids was a weight off my mind. A light wave of guilt passes over me for being so selfish.
Growling, I yank myself away from Ava and push her hair off her sticky cheek. ‘No more tears,’ I order, heading to the kitchen door. ‘What’s up?’ I call to Maddie.
‘I can’t find my school uniform.’
‘Me neither,’ Jacob chimes in, appearing at the top of the stairs in his boxers.
I wouldn’t have a fucking clue where to start looking for school uniforms. And I just know Ava won’t now, either. When she joins me at the bottom of the stairs, I half expect her to break down once more, and so do the twins, judging by their wary expressions. But instead, she breathes in and starts making her way up to them. ‘If we can’t find them, you’ll just have to go naked.’
‘Urghhhhh, gross!’ Maddie laughs, watching as Ava passes, her eyes sparkling in happiness.
‘Wouldn’t bother me.’ Jacob shrugs and looks down at me, like What’s the problem?
‘He clearly gets his confidence from you,’ Ava calls, sending me a pointed look.
And I grin, so fucking proud of my wife. And of my kids. Of all of them. We’re a team. We can get through anything.
Chapter 45
Ava
I wake this morning like I’ve woken every other morning for the past six weeks since the kids got home: with Jesse pressed into my back, his lips kissing down my spine slowly and lazily. It’s blissful, mind-blanking. And, as always, I melt under the warmth of his mouth rousing me from my dreams. I close my eyes again and let him take me to paradise, let my body soften, and let my senses take over. The friction of our skin rubbing together takes me from warm to blazing. The feel of his morning arousal brushing my thighs and arse takes me from wanting to silently begging. The feel of his breath layering every part of my skin it touches takes me from hungry to starving. I reach back, pushing my fingers through his morning mess of hair, sighing my contentment, bowing my body into his.
‘Morning, lady,’ he murmurs between nibbles of my shoulder, rolling his hips into my arse. ‘You ready for me?’
‘Always.’ It’s the truth. My body responds to him instinctively. My need for him is unrelenting.
One sharp thrust puts him inside me, deep and high, my fingers gripping his hair as I cry out, his teeth nipping my flesh as he grunts. I’m floating. I feel like I’m on cloud nine, just seconds after waking, and I know that’s Jesse’s intention each morning. To start my day being reminded of how wonderful we are. It really isn’t necessary.
I look at this man and sizzle inside. I listen to him, no matter what he’s saying, and take huge comfort from the deep baritone of his rough voice. I feel him touch me and just know we were always incomplete without each other. We are one.
Our bodies move in perfect sync, flowing together softly and carefully, like they’re so familiar with each other. Because they are. I could never question the sense of right when we’re intimate like this, even on my bad days, when frustration gets the better of me, when a whole day passes without so much as a speck of a memory to encourage me on.