‘I just spoke to Kate. She wants us to meet them for dinner tomorrow night.’
I can think of nothing worse than putting myself in front of people and trying to smile. I just want to hide away in our little manor until things are back to normal. I’m on the cusp of suggesting we do exactly that, but Ava speaks first. ‘I’m looking forward to seeing her.’
Of course she is. Ava’s best friend is one of the only people she recognises. And that fucking stings like a fuck-off-big Portuguese man-of-war. ‘Great.’ I smile through my false enthusiasm.
‘I’m going to take a shower.’ She edges towards the bathroom, pointing to my phone on the bed. ‘The kids rang while you were asleep.’
‘Did you answer?’ The thought of her staring blankly at my phone while it rang, their faces on my screen, is unbearable.
‘Of course I answered.’ She seems almost offended. ‘They’ve been fishing today. Dad caught a ten-pound bream. Jacob sent the pictures through.’
I reach for my phone, keen to see their faces. And I bark out a shot of laughter when Jacob appears on my screen, a huge fish hanging from his hand, an even bigger grin on his face. And then there’s Maddie, eyes wide, looking at the bream like it could be a great white. ‘Look at them.’ My heart swells as I turn to Ava, her smile as bright as mine.
‘Jacob looks so much like you in that picture.’ Ava’s comment has me focusing on my boy once again. She’s right. He does, more so than usual. ‘Handsome,’ she adds.
I shoot her a look, and she shrugs, a little shyly. ‘And Maddie looks just like you. Beautiful.’
Her lips twist a little. If she dares challenge that . . . ‘It’s quite scary, don’t you think?’
‘What? How similar they are to us?’
‘Yes.’ She wanders over and looks down at the screen with me.
‘Not scary,’ I counter, looking up at her with a wide smile. ‘They’re lucky fucking kids.’
She laughs, a genuine bend-over, stomach-clenching laugh. It’s a sight to behold, and it has me grinning from ear to ear. ‘You’re so pigheaded.’
‘So I’m told. Now get that gorgeous arse in the shower. I’ll take you somewhere special after your therapy session.’
‘Actually, I was thinking of calling Elsie about her offer. Yoga might be the kind of thing I need. All this therapy is useless. I hate it. It just makes me feel crap and hopeless.’
I get her point, completely. I hate seeing her looking so disheartened each time she’s left a session. But . . . ‘We have yoga classes at the health club,’ I remind her. ‘If you want to do it, I’ll get you on the classes.’ That way she’ll still be close by.
‘Yoga in a studio with thirty other people?’ She wrinkles her nose at me. ‘It’s not really the relaxation I had in mind. Elsie’s classes sound far more therapeutic. One-on-one. What do you think?’
‘I think yoga is yoga.’
She gives me a roll of her eyes and heads for the bathroom. ‘But Elsie has this spiritual thing going on.’
I grimace as I get up and follow her. ‘You’re not going to go all hippie on me, are you?’ I grin when she tuts dramatically. ‘Though if you want to stop wearing bras during the day, I’m down with that.’ Seizing her from in front of the mirror, I whirl her around, her gasp of lusty surprise like music to my ears.
‘I’m being serious.’ She tries to force me away, and my disposition is quickly slighted as a result.
‘So am I.’ I tug her back. ‘If you want to do yoga, we have a perfectly good health club for you to do it at. It makes sense for you to be at the club.’ Perfect fucking sense.
‘So you can keep an eye on me?’
‘Exactly.’
Her eyes narrow, pissed off. ‘I assume I had a life beyond you before the accident,’ she says, pointing a pout my way. ‘Or did you keep me nailed to your side permanently?’
I scoff. ‘I wish.’
‘I’m going to yoga at Elsie’s well-being centre, and you can’t stop me.’
She want to place bets on that? What’s wrong with our club, if she wants to practise yoga? And what if her memories come flooding back while I’m not with her? Lord knows, if she suddenly remembers everything, it could certainly bring on a panic attack. I’m about to reaffirm my refusal to let her go, but I pull back, reminding myself that my life is practically hanging in the balance. I can’t make her remember if she’s not talking to me, and that’s what’s going to happen if I deny her this. Softly-softly. Patience.
‘Fine.’ I spit the word out with force. ‘But I’m taking you and picking you up.’
‘I’d like to drive myself.’
I laugh, loud and sharp. She’s testing me now. ‘Don’t push me, Ava. I’ve agreed to yoga. That’s as much as you’re getting.’ I push myself into her front and squeeze her tight. ‘End of.
‘I’m driving myself.’ She pushes her hips into my groin. ‘End of.’
Chapter 25
Ava
I’m torn between the need to keep him close and the need to desperately break away. To find some independence before I come to lean on him too much.
Yoga is the perfect place to start, just a couple of hours away from him. The big wide world is a scary place, but it’s not going to get any less scary unless I push forward. So I’m going, and I don’t care how much he sulks about it. And I’m driving myself.
Elsie was delighted to hear from me, and offered to let me join her this afternoon. I’m looking forward to it, and as I come down the stairs, feeling bright and positive, I see Jesse pacing the hallway. I don’t let his clear displeasure break me down. ‘The keys?’ I ask, pulling my bag onto my shoulder.
The scowl fired at me is fierce, as is his stance. The man can sulk, that much I’ve figured out. But his moody nature when things don’t go his way is oddly endearing. Familiar. He grunts, looking me up and down, handing me a bunch of keys and a pretty pinky-gold thing.
I frown down at it. It’s not much bigger than a credit card. ‘What’s this?’
‘Your phone.’
‘Oh.’ I smile and slip it into my bag and pull a hair tie out, securing my hair into a ponytail carefully.
‘I’m not happy about this.’
‘No shit.’
That scowl, it darkens, and my smile widens. ‘Don’t push your luck.’
‘Don’t push yours.’ I laugh, passing him and heading for the door. My shoulder brushes his arm, and before I know what’s happened, I’m pressed against the nearest wall by his hard body. Damn, this man moves fast.
Getting up in my face, his green eyes almost dull, he growls, low and deep. His heart is clattering in his chest, the beats penetrating me. He’s worried. Worried about being away from me? It might be unhealthy and unreasonable, but to me it’s strangely comforting. Every move this man makes, everything he says, all his facial expressions and reactions, they all touch me somewhere deep, and my gut tells me it’s all okay. Everything is fine. Instinct tells me how to react. My heart tells me how to love him. My mind tells me how to handle him.
I’m slowly putting it all together, figuring him out. He is the biggest part of who I am.
‘I’ll drive carefully.’ My instinct to reassure him is so natural. I’m wondering where it’s coming from, since he’s being completely unreasonable. ‘I’ll be a couple of hours, at the most. I’ll be back before you know it, I promise.’
‘And what if you aren’t?’ He’s serious, his mind spinning with dread and the worst-case scenarios. ‘Do you know how long it took me to finally lengthen the reins I have on you? Years, Ava. Years of my fear battling with my reason.’
‘You have a reasonable side?’ I ask, trying to throw some lightness into the mix. This is utterly ridiculous. I’m going to yoga for two hours, max.
His green eyes narrow into warning slits. ‘Sarcasm doesn’t suit you, lady.’ He’s not impressed, and like the sly bastard I’ve figured he is, he rolls those damn gorgeous hips into my groin, using his power over me like the weapon it is. ‘We need to make friends.’