Ethan. Oh, God.
I remember how he kept reaching out for her the last time we were all together, and I feel terrible. I’m convinced he really likes her, which means he’s about to have his heart broken—?because of me. Two people simply falling in and out of love, that’s no one’s fault. But I’d deliberately pushed the two of them together. Over and over again. Even when Ivy seemed uncertain about it, I slammed them together.
“Why aren’t you answering me?” she says.
“Sorry. I was trying to figure out what you should do. I don’t want him to be hurt.” On the plus side, he can’t take it too personally, right? She wouldn’t have fallen in love with any guy.
“I could text him,” she says, and picks up her phone, just as the door to the garage opens and Mom calls out, “Come help with the groceries, girls.”
“Hold off on texting,” I say, tugging Ivy toward the garage. “Let me talk to David first and see what he thinks.”
“Okay.”
We pass Mom and Ron. They’re both lugging full bags. “There are a few more in the trunk,” Mom says.
“Guess what?” Ivy says to her. “I’m gay!” She continues on into the garage.
Mom stares after her, then swings her head in my direction. “Chloe?”
“Yeah, uh . . . hold on. I’ll explain in a sec.”
Ivy and I grab the rest of the bags and join Mom and Ron in the kitchen. Mom asks Ivy to repeat what she just said.
“I’m gay.”
“What makes you say that?”
“I like Diana more than Ethan.”
“Oh, that doesn’t mean you’re gay,” Mom says with a relieved laugh. “I like a lot of women more than a lot of men, but I’m not gay.”
Ivy’s brow furrows. “Chloe says I might be.”
Mom turns to me. “Chloe? What’s going on?”
“She thinks she’s being funny,” Ron says.
I shoot a brief glare at him and say to Mom, “Ivy’s trying to figure some stuff out. That’s what’s going on.”
“You must have put the idea into her head,” Ron says.
“I think we’re all jumping to conclusions here,” Mom says. “Let’s just slow down. What about Ethan, Ivy? You’ve been spending so much time with him, and I thought . . .”
“He’s okay,” Ivy says. “But—” She stops and looks to me for help.
“She’d rather kiss Diana than him,” I say.
“Did she tell you that?” Ron asks. “Or was it your idea?”
I say to Mom, “Can we please just discuss this with the family?”
“This is the family,” she says. “Ron is part of our family.”
“Yours, maybe. Not mine.”
She breathes in sharply. “That’s a horrible thing to say! Apologize to him right now, Chloe.”
“Are you kidding me? He accuses me of all sorts of things, and that’s fine? But I just ask to speak to you alone, and I have to apologize?” God, I’m sick of this.
Mom crosses her arms. “Apologize or I’m sending you to your room. You’re acting like a child.”
“Jesus, Mom! All you think about these days is your precious husband. You’ve completely stopped caring about me and Ivy!”
“That’s it!” Ron grabs my arm. “You can be rude to me, but I won’t allow you to be rude to your mother. You’re going to your room if I have to drag you there.”
“Let go of me!” I shove at his hand and spin away. “Don’t touch me! Don’t you ever touch me!”
Ivy puts her hands over her ears. “Stop it! Don’t! Don’t fight!”
“It’s okay, Ivy,” I say, warily keeping an eye on Ron as I circle around to her. “It’s okay. Ron’s being a homophobic dick, but otherwise everything’s fine.”
“I am not homophobic!” he spits out furiously. “That’s not what this is about! I have a ton of gay friends, and if I truly believed that Ivy was gay, I’d be fine with it! But what I’m not fine with is you bullying both her and your mother into believing something just for your own personal amusement!”
“You’re insane! Totally batshit crazy. Why would I ever make this up?”
“Because—” He stops, his face red, as he flails about for a reason. “Because you like to make trouble!”
“I don’t think Chloe’s doing this to be difficult,” Mom says unhappily. “But I do think she’s rushing to conclusions—?and she’s definitely not being very mature right now—”
I throw my hands up in the air. “You’re both unbelievable! This is a waste of time. Come on, Ivy. Let’s go upstairs.” She follows me out, her palms still plastered over her ears, her face taut with anxiety.
“Why is everyone so angry?” she asks once we’re in our room with the door shut. “Is it because I’m gay?”
“No. It’s because Ron hates me and wants to make Mom hate me too.” I’m pacing around the room, too upset to settle down.
Ivy perches on the edge of her bed, her fingers fluttering above the quilt as she watches me anxiously. “Does he hate me too?”
“No. No one could ever hate you. I’m the hateful one.”
“I probably shouldn’t have told them I was gay,” she says morosely. “Mom got upset, and so did Ron.”
“Only because they think it was my idea.”
“What was your idea?”
“That you’re gay.”
“How could that be your idea? Isn’t it just how I am?”
“Right.”
“I’m confused,” she says.
“Join the club.”
“What club?”
Sometimes I feel really lonely. This is one of those times.
Twenty-Six
I HAVE TO FIGURE OUT how to tell Ethan, so I text David, hoping he’ll be able to help me.
can you meet me for coffee or something tomorrow morning?
Just me?
Yeah
sure name the place/time
So I do, and we agree to meet at the Starbucks on Montana and Fifteenth at ten.