Raleigh
For the umpteenth time I’m swearing off drugs. Lily and I took acid and then rubbed MDA into our gums. It was great in her apartment, then we went to a dinner party for a while. Then we went to see Pink Flamingos. Then back to her place, where I prayed until I fell asleep. Lesson: Never be where you don’t want to be on acid.
January 29, 1979
Raleigh
Today I worked at the Empire on Gloria Penny’s sewer line. Her backyard was covered with lumps of shit and green toilet paper.
In current events, a sixteen-year-old in San Diego opened fire on an elementary school playground with an M16 and 250 rounds of ammunition. The pope is in Mexico.
March 1, 1979
Raleigh
I’m depressed because I withdrew $75 from my savings account. It’s the same passbook I’ve had since 1966, and I’m only on the third page!
March 8, 1979
New York, New York
All over downtown I’m seeing posters reading:
Doctors’ Warning:
Deadly Disease.
Leprosy Disease.
Stay Away from
the Women Tramps.
Men Caught
Leprosy
and Tuberculosis
from the
Women Tramps.
You Will Endanger
Your Family with
Deadly Disease.
Stay Away from
the Women Tramps
or You Will Be in a Bad Ward
and Suffer Terrible the Rest of Your Life with Tuberculosis and Leprosy.
March 11, 1979
Raleigh
On our way home from New York, Lily and I stopped in Baltimore, where we went to Edith’s Shopping Bag and got Edie Massey’s autograph. She was in Pink Flamingos and Female Trouble and will be in Polyester, which isn’t out yet. I bought a magazine, Lily got a button, and when we told Edie she looked good, she pulled off her nice hair and screeched, “It’s a wig.”
Every man on the street was old and dirty and looked like he was on his way to an adult bookstore.
March 28, 1979
Raleigh
I found a job. Today I’ll work, really work, for the first time since December. I’ve been hired as a waiter at a little restaurant next to the Arthur Murray Dance Studio called the Breakfast House, so I’m up at five. The last time I was up at five was because I hadn’t gone to bed yet.
March 29, 1979
Raleigh
Everyone at the job is very nice. Especially Mary, the cook. I made $13 in tips, mostly in dimes and quarters.
There was an accident yesterday at the Three Mile Island nuclear plant, so a lot of people talked about it.
April 16, 1979
Raleigh
Dad on friendship: “Sure, some people are nice. Real nice. Nice like carpets so you can walk all over them.”
May 3, 1979
Raleigh
I am in trouble with Lisa’s landlady, Cleo. Last night D. came to visit with a friend. They were loud on the stairs. Cleo was woken up by the noise and called me, saying, “Now, listen, Andrew. We can’t have this.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “It won’t—”
“We just can’t have it.”
I hope I haven’t gotten Lisa evicted. She’s at Bob’s every night, but still, it’s her apartment. All the tenants here are old and everything bothers them. They make me think of Mrs. Covington, who comes into the Breakfast House every day. She complains if I don’t fill her coffee cup to the top, and then when I do, she complains that it’s too full.
So I’m in trouble and need to find an apartment by next Friday.
May 7, 1979
Raleigh
Ronnie and I spent the day apartment hunting. My best option is in the house next door to the IHOP, with a fireplace, a finished-off sunporch I could use as a bedroom, a living room, and a small kitchen. The bathtub is almost miniature.
We talked to a landlord with an apartment on Ashe Ave. He said he would rent to me if:
1. I am not an atheist
2. I do not “carouse”
3. I do not smoke marijuana
4. I do not have parties (a $50-per-person fee is charged for every “jerk” I invite)
5. I do not have black friends
6. my friends don’t belong to any “hate groups like the NAACP that call us white people honkies”
7. I don’t get pregnant (he evicts unmarried pregnant women)
He said all of this seriously, and afterward Ronnie gave me a pair of pants.
May 12, 1979
Raleigh
Yesterday was move-in day into the apartment next to the IHOP. The place is bigger than I remembered. It feels nice and empty, and after getting settled, I took some LSD—not enough to see God, and not enough to think too much.
May 17, 1979
Raleigh
Gas in four states is now selling for over $1 a gallon. I’d love to work in a service station just so I could hear people complain. Apartment life is good. I’m using my ironing board as a kitchen table.
May 21, 1979
Raleigh
Nell Styron is the hostess of the Upstairs Restaurant, and today was the first time I’d seen her without a bow in her hair. Ronnie and I ate there this afternoon. We had taken some acid, so we had borscht for the pretty color. I’m so afraid lately that she’ll get hurt or killed. What would I do without her?
May 24, 1979
Raleigh
Something cruel:
Yesterday I caught a wasp and put him in a jar in the living room. Later I threw in a dead bee, and the wasp chewed it up. Last night I poured Canada Dry and Comet into the jar. The wasp rolled over on his back, kicked up his legs, and died in a matter of minutes. I felt really bad about it. Lots of people kill wasps, but I made it suffer. He was large, though, so I figured it was either him or me.
I really try to refrain from marijuana until at least ten thirty at night, but when it’s put in front of me, I forget how miserable it makes me feel. I get nauseated and don’t move around as much. At night, though, I take a bath and listen to the radio. At night, it’s great.
June 1, 1979
Raleigh
Conversation at work:
Me: Are you Italian?
Italian guy: Just do your job and minda you own business.
June 3, 1979
Raleigh
Conversation I overheard at the IHOP:
Woman: Excuse me, may I join you for a moment?
Billy (who is blind and doesn’t wear dark glasses): Yes, ma’am.
Woman: You can’t see me. I’m just an old woman with a favor to ask.
Billy: Yes?
Woman: I’d like to pay for your meal. I’m from Durham.
Billy: Have you lived in Durham all your life?
Woman: Yes, my husband died unexpectedly. Here’s a ten-dollar bill.
Billy: I’ve been blind since I was born.
Woman: Trust in the Lord, He’s all we’ve got now.
Billy: Yes, all we’ve got.
Woman: Yes.
Billy: Yes.
Woman: Did you ask how old I am?
Billy: No.
Woman: Well, God bless you.
Billy: Yes, you too.
June 6, 1979
Raleigh
A joke Jane at work told me:
Man to a woman he’d just screwed: If I’d known you were a virgin, I’d have taken more time.
Woman: If I’d known you had more time, I would have taken my panty hose off.
June 13, 1979
Raleigh
I was walking home when someone in a passing car leaned out the window and spat right in the center of my face.
I am reading The World According to Garp.