“I knew shopping would work,” Emery agreed.
Then, they gathered me up and hurried me to the dressing room. Their arms were full of almost exclusively black apparel…and I had one dress. I wasn’t sure if they thought I’d bolt if we took too long to look or what. They seemed anxious to get me healthy. To see my smile and hope that I would turn back into the bubbly friend they were used to. I just…wasn’t sure I would be able to do that. Not yet at least.
Still, I humored them. I slid the sleek material over my head and down my narrow hips. It cut low in the front and had a relatively high slit up the right side. When I stepped out of the dressing room, I was shocked to see the transformation. The girls were right. This was my color.
“Oh my God,” Emery muttered. “It’s not even fair. Your genetics are unreal. Why were you given all the good genes? You’re as bad as Kimber.”
I laughed. Emery’s sister, Kimber, had been prom queen in high school, and they were night and day in appearance. I looked more like Kimber than Emery ever had. In fact, in high school, it had felt more like the three of us were siblings, and I wasn’t an only child.
“You have to get it,” Julia said as soon as she stepped out of the room.
“I have nowhere to wear it, and I’m sure I can’t afford it.”
“Look,” Emery said with a sigh, leaning against the three-way mirror. “We’re all really worried about you. I know how much this job meant to you.”
“I really don’t think that you do.”
“Heidi, I’ve known you my whole life. I know that you have wanted to succeed in this forever.”
I shook my head. “You don’t know everything, Em.”
“What? What don’t I know?”
“My dad,” I choked out. “My dad used my college funds.”
“He used your…” Her mouth hung open. “Oh. Oh God.”
“What?” Julia asked. “What am I missing?”
“He used my college funds on drugs and shackled me with student loan debt and then some,” I spat angrily. “So, I needed the job more than anyone even knew. And, now, I don’t know what I’m going to do.”
“Heidi, I’m sorry,” Emery said. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I was handling it,” I said with a sigh. “And now…now, I’m not.”
“Well, I think you should talk to Jensen. We talked, and I know he’s worried about you and Landon. He’s been going out and drinking every night with Austin and Patrick. We all know that’s not a smart decision.”
“I don’t want to hear it,” I said, holding up my hands.
“Well, I’m sorry. You need to. Jensen has been trying to get ahold of you. I know that he wants to apologize to you about how this was all handled and that they’re looking into the circumstances behind it.”
“Em, just stop.”
“Come on, please. Talk to him.”
“I already texted him back.”
“I know,” Emery said with a frown. “But—”
“There is no but to this conversation, Em. I know what you’re trying to do. But I do not want to talk about Jensen Wright or Landon Wright or any of the Wrights.”
“But it isn’t their fault,” Emery said.
“It isn’t? I wasn’t just fired from the company that they own and operate?”
“You were, but—”
“Are you really going to try to stand there and defend them to me?” I gasped. “You, of all people?”
I turned around and walked back into the dressing room. I didn’t want to have to deal with this shit. My body was shaking from the effort to not explode. I loved Emery to pieces, and I knew that she meant well. I hadn’t wanted to yell at her. But she had been talking nonsense to me, and she fucking knew it.
“I’m not defending how it all went down. It was shitty,” Emery said through the dressing room wall. I could hear the desperation seeping into her voice. “But I know none of them knew that it was happening. They weren’t even aware that you were fired or that you were dating Landon until after it all happened. You need to talk to someone. If not Landon, at least talk to Jensen.”
With my clothes back on, I hung the dress back on the hanger and stepped out. “No.”
“Heidi—”
“It’s over, Emery. I got fired because of Landon. No matter how you try to twist it around, that is what happened. It’s on him. Don’t you remember that Landon who shattered your heart, lied to you, and ignored you for months? This shouldn’t be that hard for you to grasp.”
“That was ten years ago, Heidi! And he’s different with you.”
I snorted. “Yeah, right.”
“Um, can I cut in?” Julia asked. “I didn’t know Landon ten years ago. I don’t really know him now. But I do know that he has been awful at work since you left. I have never seen a grown man mope like that.”
“Jesus,” I said. I leaned my head back and sighed. “I don’t know. Okay? I don’t know anything. I don’t really even want to be discussing this. I lost my job and boyfriend all in one day. I am broken and beaten and depressed. My heart is an empty wasteland where Landon Wright used to occupy. And I want things to go back to the way they were. But how can I be with someone who was so careless with the thing I held most dear? It’s not something that is going to be fixed overnight.”
“Okay,” Emery said slowly. “We didn’t mean to push. I think you should talk to Jensen when you’re ready. Even if that’s not today.”
“It’s a good idea,” Julia agreed. “Keeping this all bottled up does not help. Trust me, I know. I’ve been in therapy for years, trying to get over my crazy ex. I wish I’d had friends like you and Emery back then. Running away doesn’t always solve the problem. That’s all I’m saying.”
“Yeah, maybe. I know your situation is so crazier than this, Julia,” I said with a sigh. “I don’t know. I’ll think about it, okay?”
Emery and Julia nodded. They couldn’t ask for more than that. I wasn’t prepared to give more than that.
I held up the dress still in my hand. “What were you trying to get me to buy this for anyway?”
“Charity Benefit,” Julia said.
I groaned. “You thought I’d go to the Wright event after this week? Are you out of your minds?”
They glanced at each other and shrugged.
“Maybe a little,” Emery said.
“We could make it a girls’ trip,” Julia said. “Free champagne?”
“No.”
“Humph,” Emery muttered. “Just think about it.”
“No.”
“I’m buying the dress,” Julia said, ignoring my protests. “Just as a backup. In case you change your mind and go with us.”
That wasn’t happening.
But, in the end, I couldn’t change their minds. And the dress came home with me.
Still, my mind wandered back to Landon. Even though I didn’t want it, too. I wondered what he was doing. If he had been getting drunk with Austin every night, like Emery had said. If he had been moping around, like Julia had said. If he was hurting as much as I was. My heart ached with the loss of him. I’d only just gotten him…only just fallen in love…and then it had all been tragically ripped away.
I couldn’t turn back the clock.
We’d known it was wrong, but it’d felt so damn right.
Now, it was all up in flames.
Thirty-Six
Landon