But I could make Heidi come around.
I needed to talk to her. To make her understand what had happened that day. I couldn’t accept that, just because we were in this situation now, we couldn’t have something between us again. She’d seemed resolved to walk away, and I was as determined to convince her otherwise.
How much could have changed in the last month?
I exited Morgan’s office and took the elevator back down to my floor. My mind was buzzing with all the work that had been dropped at my feet, coupled with the fact that I would have to interact with Heidi on a regular basis. At least I wasn’t sitting around, worrying about whether or not I’d ever recover enough to do the one thing I loved.
That was a positive.
Albeit, a strange one.
I rounded the corner that led to my office and couldn’t help myself. I turned to search Heidi out. She was resting against her desk, facing my direction. A group of engineering guys was standing around her in deep discussion. One guy was leaning over something on her desk. He said something to her, and she shook her head. Whatever she said next made everyone in the area crack up laughing. Even she tilted her head back and laughed. That mane of blonde hair fell like a waterfall down her back.
God, it was good to see her laugh.
I knew that I should walk away. That I shouldn’t stare at her like this.
We’d talked long into the night about how much she loved her job and how proud she was that she had started at the bottom and raised herself up. After everything she had done to get to where she was, she must find me despicable to come in with no experience and become her boss. I’d happened upon this position by sheer luck of birth.
Yet I couldn’t stop watching her. She had been this way with me once, and I’d walked away. It was the smart move. But knowing that I was leaving Miranda only made it harder.
Gorgeous, uninhibited, and completely in her element.
This was how she should always be. Not bottled up with anger and frustration. Tense with misunderstandings. From now on, I’d make it my mission to make her laugh.
Her head jerked toward me, as if she had felt my eyes on her like a laser. Her cheeks heated, but she didn’t look away. Gone was the fun and playful girl from a minute ago. In her place was that feral creature who kept me on my toes. Never sure if she was going to walk away or devour me whole.
I didn’t like the guessing games with her. The best thing about Heidi was, you always knew exactly where you stood. But, right now, I felt as if I were in a fun house with mirrors reflecting back at me, revealing a million different versions of reality.
As I held her gaze, I shattered every mirror but the real one in her eyes.
She seemed to realize that she had given herself away and quickly turned away from me. But I’d seen enough to know the truth.
This wasn’t over. This was far from over.
Eleven
Heidi
To say the least, the last five days had been the most uncomfortable of my life. If I’d thought I would be able to avoid Landon, I’d been wrong. Very wrong.
I knew I needed to figure out a way to live with my new reality. But, at present, I wanted to get the fuck out of the office and not have to deal with Landon being there. I didn’t do well as a contained creature. Holding on to my emotions was like waiting for a jack-in-the-box to pop open.
That was why I’d agreed to meet Nick for dinner after work. This was the third date, and I couldn’t have Landon Wright in my head when I went into this. I could almost convince myself that I was looking forward to it.
My hand strayed to my hair, and I tucked a lock behind my ear. Even though Landon’s office was on the way out, I promised myself I wouldn’t take a peek and see what he was doing. I didn’t need to know if he looked frazzled, as he had for the last couple of days. I wasn’t going to see if he’d already taken off his jacket, removed his tie, and rolled up his sleeves. Those things weren’t important.
Yet my eyes darted in there anyway.
To my surprise, he had his jacket and tie in place. His hair wasn’t mussed, like he had been running his fingers through it in irritation all day. He looked relaxed. And, when he saw me, he smiled.
Oh, fuck.
I’m a goner.
“Hey,” Landon said. He stepped out of his office and leaned against the door.
My heart stuttered. “Hey.”
We hadn’t had a conversation longer than this since he started. He’d given me room to breathe. Even though I couldn’t avoid him even if I wanted to.
“You heading out early?” he asked.
I stalled and faced him. “Yeah. It’s Friday. Is that a problem?”
He shook his head. “Nope. Not a problem with me.”
“Great,” I said. “I didn’t think I needed permission.”
His smile slipped for a second, and then it came back, maxed out. God, that smile.
“You don’t. Not from me at least.”
“Wonderful,” I said drily. I wasn’t trying to be a sarcastic bitch, but it was a defense mechanism against his charm.
“Heidi, can we not do this?”
“Oh, I’m Heidi now? What happened to Miss Martin?”
Landon leveled me with a you-know-why-I-said-that look. “If we’re going to be around each other, then we should maybe try to be civil. Friends even.”
“We are friends, Landon,” I said with a sad smile. “Just friends.”
I pushed past his door and headed for the elevator. I didn’t know how much longer I could do this, and it had only been five days.
Landon and I were just friends. All we were ever going to be was friends. Him putting on the charm and smiling at me like that was not helping a goddamn thing.
The elevator doors swung open. I stepped inside and hit the button for the lobby. As the doors were sliding shut, Landon’s hand shot out to stop them. He held them open with both hands and intently stared at me.
I swallowed hard and felt my body seize up. Here we were. Just the two of us. Alone. Yet…not exactly alone. Anyone could come around the corner and see us together. Wonder why he was holding the doors open like that while watching me like a starved animal.
“What?” I asked when he didn’t say anything.
“Don’t walk out of here like this.”
I arched an eyebrow. “It’s only a half hour early.”
“You know what I mean.”
“I don’t—”
“You walked past my office as if we were strangers. We’re not. We haven’t had a chance to talk. I haven’t even had a chance to apologize.”
“Well…don’t.”
“Don’t?” he asked, his brows furrowing.
“Don’t apologize. What do you have to apologize for?”
“Let me start a list,” he said with a half-grin.
“Your wife showed up, and that was that, Landon,” I told him with a one-shoulder shrug.
“That is not what happened.”
I shook my head and leaned against the back of the elevator. I didn’t want to hear this. I didn’t want him to do this right now. I prayed that someone would come and interrupt us, but I wasn’t that lucky.