Now, I had to keep my hands from shaking. I was so angry with him. He’d proven me right, and I didn’t like it at all.
I stormed out of the restaurant and back to my car. My breathing was coming out in furious hyperventilating-induced sputters. In all my life and all the horrible dates I’d been on, I’d never once been stood up and made to feel this stupid.
I turned over the ignition as my phone started vibrating next to me. I almost ignored it. If it were Landon, he was too little, too late. I was an afterthought. I wasn’t important enough to even be told that he couldn’t make it. I didn’t want to talk to someone who could treat me that way.
But my hand reached out, and I looked at the screen anyway.
A sigh escaped me when I saw that it was Emery, not Landon. Somehow, I had still gotten my hopes up that it was him. But I had to put that all away now. I couldn’t let Emery know why I was so upset. Landon was off-limits. He was not a conversation I wanted to have with my best friend.
I answered the call, “Hello?”
“Hey! I just got home. Where are you?” Emery asked.
“I went to get some food but lost my appetite and didn’t eat anything.”
“That’s lame. You should probably eat something. Want me to make you something at home?”
“No, that’s okay.” I really was not hungry any longer. My anger had burned away my need for food. “What’s up?”
“I have so much to dish to you. I wanted to tell you as soon as I got home. Are you going to be out long?”
“I’m on my way home actually,” I said as I turned over the ignition and pulled out of my parking spot. “Be there in, like, ten minutes.”
“Okay. Well, I can’t wait that long,” Emery said. “Miranda showed up at Jensen’s house this morning.”
I gasped as everything seemed to crystallize, “Miranda? Like…Landon’s wife?” My voice was brittle, as if I were a cracked eggshell, ready to shatter.
“Yeah. Like the crazy bitch lady who screams at me every time she sees me even though she knows that Jensen and I are together and I have no interest in Landon. She’s a total monster. Jensen detests her, to put it mildly.”
“What was she doing there?” I managed to get out as I drove blindly across town. I couldn’t recall any of the drive. Stoplights and traffic signals and lane changes had all happened, but I was on autopilot.
“She was looking for Landon, but as you know, this trip, he’s staying with Austin, not Jensen.”
“Right.” Because I’d gotten his drunk ass home last night. “But…what did she want?”
“Not sure. What I gathered from her clipped conversation with Jensen was that they’d had an argument, Landon had threatened to leave her, and she was here to make things right. Whatever the hell that means.”
“Yeah,” I whispered.
Miranda was here to make things right. And, now, Landon wasn’t returning my calls or answering any of my messages.
My throat felt dry and cracked. My hands were stiff on the steering wheel. My heart constricted painfully.
Of course.
Of course this was what it was.
It was as if those messages I had read last night on Landon’s phone and the conclusion I had drawn from them came true. Landon wasn’t leaving Miranda. Landon was never going to leave Miranda. Even Emery had said that Landon had only threatened it. He wasn’t really going to follow through.
I didn’t know what this whole brunch thing had been to him. Had he been trying to break my heart once and for all? Had he decided it would be easier for me to know how worthless I truly was to him if he led me on and then blew me off?
I was feeling about two inches tall at the moment, and blood was roaring in my ears.
“Heidi? Hey, are you still there?” Emery asked.
I hadn’t even realized that she was still talking to me on the phone. “Yeah, sorry. I’m driving.”
“That’s cool. You went quiet on me there.”
“I don’t think I’m feeling that great,” I admitted.
“Oh no,” Emery said. “We’ll have to do some Netflix and chill.”
I laughed softly. “You do know that means we’re going to have sex, right?”
“And?”
“Count me in,” I said the words, but they held none of my normal lighthearted enthusiasm. I couldn’t muster up the humor for the conversation.
“Heidi,” Emery said again.
“Yeah?”
“Is this about Landon?”
“Is what about Landon?” I asked, panicked that she had correctly interpreted my silence.
“You know…about him and Miranda.”
“No. I don’t know.”
Emery sighed. “I know you like him, Heidi. You don’t hide things from me as well as you think you do.”
“I don’t like him,” I insisted.
Right now, I definitely hated him.
“Okay,” Emery said disbelievingly. “Well, I don’t know what’s happening with Miranda, but if Jensen has anything to say about it, they’ll be divorced sooner rather than later.”
“I won’t hold my breath.”
“Well, come home, and we can eat ice cream and binge-watch Buffy, okay?”
“Sounds good. See you soon.” I ended the call and drove straight home.
When I pulled into the parking lot of the apartment I shared with Emery, a text popped up from Landon.
So sorry about brunch! Something came up, and I couldn’t get away. Can we talk later? I’ll explain everything.
I shook my head in exasperation. He hadn’t even mentioned Miranda in the text. Something had come up. Yeah, right. What he’d meant was, his wife had shown up, and if I’d stayed the night, she would have busted us. Even worse, if he had been at brunch with me, she could have shown up there while we were together. What the hell would he have done then?
Landon wasn’t being honest with me, and worse, it didn’t seem like he was being honest with himself. He wasn’t leaving Miranda. Talking to me was only going to cause him trouble.
I had no interest in a battered love triangle.
I had no interest in fighting for someone who was unattainable.
I had no interest in losing my heart to someone who could only break it.
I tapped out a message to Landon, letting my anger guide me. I knew I was doing the right thing. Reconsidering had been the wrong move. Waiting around for him when he was late had been a desperate one. Agreeing to talk to him again after all of that would be utterly stupid.
I know Miranda is here. This is over. Don’t ever talk to me again.
Seven
Landon
Heidi’s text was explicitly clear.
Don’t ever talk to me again.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
I had fucked up. I could feel her anger in that one message. She was beyond pissed. I didn’t know how she had found out about Miranda, but that was not good. Worse was, I hadn’t told her myself that Miranda was here. Now, she probably thought that I was hiding it from her. Who even knew what was going on in her head? It couldn’t be good. And, by the sound of it, our friendship wasn’t even salvageable.