She considered for a moment, knowing what she had to say. “If you want me to come, I will go. But I think you don’t. I think you want to go by yourself.”
The moonlight was spreading. Now the shadow of the diamond windowpane angled over the bed. Charles looked at her in that silvery glow and slowly, slowly, pushed his finger up inside the fluttery sleeve of her nightgown and hooked the collar, tugging it off her shoulder.
四十一
Helios, NY
EACH STAIR leading up to the third floor made its own sort of creak. Saina didn’t know them as well as she knew the second-floor stairs yet; those she ran up in a pattern of leaps and side steps, appreciating anew the narrow Uzbek carpet that she’d installed as a runner and congratulating herself when she reached the top without a sound. Not that it mattered when she was living in this house alone.
When she had come to Helios six months ago, Saina told herself that she bought this big place because it just made more sense. After a decade of accepting the distorted reality of three-million-dollar third-floor walk-ups in TriBeCa and SoHo, the idea that she might possess a hundred-year-old house with four bedrooms on twenty-one acres for a fraction of that price was not something that she could bypass. After all, she could redo this place and resell it—instead of making art, she could bring old farmhouses back to life. Or she could invite other people—writers and composers and scientists, even—to do residencies here, hire a good cook, and have intelligent, ebullient dinners at long tables in the garden that would lead to cross-disciplinary collaborations and long marriages. Or she could just restore this bucolic dream and keep it when she moved back to the city to reassume her rightful place.
Really, though, Saina bought an oversize property because she had to. A grand project meant that this was a pivot rather than a retreat, even if anyone who bothered to look could see the lie of that.
Or maybe she was psychic. A new home for the Wangs. Had she known when she was buying it that there were exactly enough rooms for her family? She had not! And yet now here they were.
Saina eased open the door to what had become Grace’s room. It was a three-quarter-size door and you had to duck as you entered, but the eaves shot up in the middle, giving it the feel of a rustic temple. Her little sister had all of the windows flung open, and a smattering of maple leaves dotted the coverlet, blown in from the ancient tree that stretched up and over the house. In half a second, Saina ran across the room and leapt on Grace, a warm, sleeping bundle.
“Gooooood morning, good morning, it’s time to greet the day!” she sang, wrapping her arms around Grace and squeezing her.
In response, Grace groaned and smiled, eyes still closed. “I can’t hear you. I’m asleep.”
“This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shiiiiiine!”
“Oh my god, why are you singing church songs to me?”
“It’s gospel, Gracie! Plus, Bruce Springsteen covered it.”
“Even worse!”
Saina flopped over and burrowed under the covers, resting her head next to her sister’s. “These really are nice sheets. I guess they were worth it.”
“Wait, are you worried about money, too?”
Should she tell her? Better not to. “Not yet. But no matter what, a few hundred dollars for some cotton that you put on your bed is ridiculous.”
“I guess.” Grace snuggled in. “Saina?”
“Hmm?”
“I like your new boyfriend.”
She laughed. “Thank you. He was good with Dad, right?”
“And Babs. So . . . do you like him?”
“You mean do I like him like him?”
“Mm-hm.”
“Yeah, of course.”
“So . . . does that mean you guys have had sex?”
“Grace! Why are you asking me that?”
“Just tell me! Have you? Actually, you don’t have to say it. I know you have. Did he stay over last night?”
“No. You saw him leave. Remember, we said good night to him together?”
“Yeah, but I thought you might have snuck him in after we all went to sleep.”
“Like summer camp? No, I’m too grown-up to do that now.”
“You’re not a grown-up, you’re a puppy!”
“Oh god, I forgot. You’re right.”
Saina yipped and whined obligingly, taking the sleeve of Grace’s T-shirt between her teeth and growling.
“No! No! Stop! You’re not a puppy! You’re a pterodactyl!”
“Don’t those not exist anymore?”
“Um, yeah. They’re extinct.”
“No, I mean wasn’t there some sort of grand dinosaur renaming? I don’t think the brontosaurus is an official dinosaur anymore either.”
“That’s impossible, because you’re a pterodactyl and you’re right here next to me.”
“Oh yeah! Phew! It’s so sad when species are permanently wiped out!” Fanning out her arms and smacking Grace in the face, Saina let out her best prehistoric shriek.
“Ow! No wonder we killed all of you!”
“You mean you’re a meteor?”
“Bam! Hellfire! Damnation! Destruction! Earth is over!”
“Do you want some pancakes?”
“Yes! Acts of God love pancakes.” Abruptly, Grace’s tone shifted. “Hey, Saina? Are you sad that Mom never met any of your boyfriends?”