“Well, that.” He shuffled his feet. “Or anything you’d like to say to me. Anything you want to know—I’ll answer it all now.”
A ripple of surprise went over her face, a spark of life in an otherwise spiritless posture. “All right, then. Why did you keep lying after I told you who I was? And don’t say to protect me.”
“Mainly to protect Robert.” He tried not to fidget. “I reassigned our original Mouse at the last minute, and since I’d never gone undercover myself, I took the opportunity to experience it. We still needed a captain, however, and Rob looks a lot like me. I thought after a few days I’d step back into the role and no one would notice as long as he stayed a bit distant.
“When you offered to teach me to read, I couldn’t really say no, so I played along, especially because you and that ledger became more interesting. I also enjoyed the freedom of not being the captain.” He tried to smile. “And your company.”
She waited, saying nothing.
He took a deep breath. “Thing was, we realized we were surrounded, and keeping Rob hidden became a necessity. If I’d gone back to being myself…”
“You would’ve revealed him,” she finished.
He nodded and looked down. “Every decision I made has put us in the best possible position to foil D’Amiran’s plan—and Robert is safe now. I regret nothing except that you were hurt. But…” He hesitated. “I also could’ve told you earlier. I was a coward.”
“You didn’t have to kiss me,” she said stiffly. “Not after the armory, at least.”
“I didn’t have to, no.” He raised his eyes to meet hers. Kissing her had been like tasting sunshine. “But I wanted to.”
Sage blushed and looked away, hugging her elbows across her stomach, but whether from anger or embarrassment he couldn’t tell.
“You’re a complication, Sage, one I never could have planned for. I wish I could make you understand.” He shrugged helplessly. “But I don’t really understand it myself. I just know how I feel.”
Her gray eyes focused back on him, but she remained silent.
Quinn swallowed. He’d been a fool to think his lies had been forgivable. That he loved her only made them worse.
“I don’t even know your first name,” she said abruptly. “But I suppose I can just call you Captain like everyone else.” She looked away again and flushed a deeper shade of pink.
Sweet Spirit, no wonder she treated him like a stranger. “It’s Alexander,” he whispered. “Alex.”
“Alex,” she whispered back. There was a softness to her voice.
It was enough. For now.
64
ALEX. HIS NAME echoed in her mind every time she looked at him. It was a strong name, one that suited the man who now held the attention of his officers with a natural confidence and command. But it had a softness and intimacy, too, when he’d whispered it in her room. Occasionally, she caught his dark eyes, and there was a trace of uncertainty in their depths. Darnessa’s words returned to her.
We each play several roles in life—that doesn’t make them all lies.
Gramwell was reporting on the test runs of what D’Amiran’s people would and wouldn’t notice. The soldiers had obtained several casks of oil and two kinds of very pure alcohol and planned to place them around the fortress to aid in creating panic and destroying weapons. Several of the duke’s guards were observed to have skipped the evening meal or eaten lightly, and Sage noted the absence of three lords at dinner, which was taken as evidence the sickness was spreading.
“But those lords may have picked it up on the way here,” she pointed out, worried they depended too much on her idea. Spirit above, how did Quinn make life-and-death decisions with so little information?
“Given Charlie fell ill this afternoon, I’m optimistic,” he said.
He’d made his own brother sick to test the weapon. What a Quinn thing to do. She crossed her arms and looked away, though not before catching the guilt on his face.
Sage paid attention to where they would stage oil and alcohol so she could keep the women away from those areas. When the discussion turned to how to take out the long, single-room barracks in the outer ward, hopefully with a number of sick guards inside, Sage listened with one ear as she studied their map of the fortress. It was based mostly on her own sketch, with a few additions. She barely glanced up when Gramwell left and returned with two enlisted men who looked enough alike to be brothers. The officers began questioning the soldiers on how to start a big fire in a hurry.
“It’s not hard, sir,” the shorter man was saying. “You jest need t’ spread it around. It vapors into th’ air pretty quick, but then it thins out. If you catch it right at th’ beginnin’, it can be good and explosive, though.”
That caught Quinn’s attention. “Explosive?”
Both soldiers nodded, and the shorter one continued, “In a closed space it’s deadly. Can I show you?”
“If you can do it without killing us,” Quinn said with raised eyebrows.
“Sure, sir. I jest need a bottle and a bit o’ the spirits.”
The materials were procured and the shorter man poured a thimbleful of clear liquid in an empty bottle. He held his thumb over the mouth and swirled the liquid around a bit, until most of it seemed to disappear. Then, keeping it plugged, he set it on the table and gestured for everyone to back up.
Quinn pulled Sage away, and she peered around him to watch. His arm stayed protectively in front of her, ready to sweep her behind him if necessary. This close, she couldn’t help breathing in scents of leather, evergreen soap, and linen—a mix that was distinctly his. She felt herself leaning against him. To get a better view.
The taller soldier brought over a sliver of wood lit from the torch on the wall—a little nervously, Sage thought. Quinn’s arm curled around her a bit, muscles taut as a bowstring.
In a swift move, the first soldier released the bottle and the second dropped the burning stick in the opening, then both jumped away. A loud pop echoed through the room as blue flashed through the bottle, spouting flame out of the mouth for a few seconds. Then it was over. The shorter man picked up the bottle and swirled it again, and a trace of the blue flame inside flickered and vanished.
Quinn released her and stepped forward. “Excellent. How do we make that happen in a large room?”
The pair looked doubtful. “You need t’ get it in th’ air, sir,” the shorter man said. “You could throw in a couple bottles like this t’ break and scatter it around.”
“But it vapors quickly, right?” said Casseck.