Sage knew his deepest fear was that he was a monster, that he enjoyed killing. Now he had to expose her to the thing he dreaded most. She nodded with the confidence he needed to see, and his expression became fierce, determined.
Before starting, he showed her the places a man in armor was vulnerable, pressed her hands where the arteries lay closest to the surface, and demonstrated the blade angles that would exploit both. After that, he stepped around to guide her into a defensive position, laying his arms over hers to place them and forcing her into a crouch with his own body. She shivered with sudden cold as he stepped away to stand in front of her again.
He made her come at him with the sheathed dagger from several angles, admonishing her not to hesitate whenever she was reluctant. His criticism rankled her, but he was so serious, she suppressed the urge to snap back.
The third time she faltered in advancing, he wrenched the weapon from her hand and had her down on the mat with the covered blade at her throat before she could blink. Sage had always thought of him as a soldier, knew he’d killed men, but for the first time she comprehended just how powerful and deadly he was.
“Did I frighten you?” he asked, leaning back. She nodded. “Good.” He tossed the knife into her lap as she sat up. “Get up and try again.”
A grim determination settled over her, and she began to progress as he wanted, drawing occasional unsmiling praise. After nearly three hours, he slapped the dagger from her hand, saying, “Your weapon is gone; now what?”
Without thinking she jumped at his middle, driving her shoulder into his stomach. She’d surprised him enough that he crumpled with the blow and fell back on the mat. There was a sickening thud as his head hit the straw pallet. Horrified, Sage pushed up to her knees as Ash groaned and reached for his head. She leaned over him only to realize her mistake when he grabbed her by the throat and yanked her close to whisper, “You’re dead.”
She pounded on his arm with her fist. “That’s not fair!”
“Do you think this is a game?” he asked. “Is there fairness in fighting a man twice your size?”
Her protest died. “No.”
He released his hold. “Good. Again.”
Ash came at her from behind, from the front, from the side. He twisted her arms behind her and bent her fingers backward to force her grip open, making her push and pull against him with all her strength. Sage learned how to use her dangling feet to find leverage and reach vulnerable spots if she was lifted off of them. He showed her which of her bones were strongest, where she was weakest, how to allow injury to gain a critical advantage, and how to fall. She landed roughly on the pallet more times than she could count.
All but two of the candles had burned out, telling her it must be nearly dawn. Sage was more tired than she’d ever felt in her life, but she dared not complain. She couldn’t help that her reactions slowed, however, and her strength waned. Finally, she lay panting on the mat as he stood over her and nudged her with his left foot. “Again.”
“I’m too tired,” she wheezed.
“I don’t care. Again.”
“I can’t,” she whimpered, rolling to her quaking hands and knees.
“You can.” He prodded harder. “Get up.”
Anger surged through her, and Sage used its fire to slam her elbow into the back of his right knee. Ash fell backward with a grunt, and she grabbed his hair and jerked him the rest of the way down. She pressed her forearm across his throat as he scrambled to reach for her, and she leaned close enough to gasp, “You’re dead.”
He smiled for the first time. “Very good.”
Sage collapsed against him. “No more, please,” she mumbled into his sweaty shoulder.
Strong arms encircled her, and he pulled her closer, laying his cheek on the top of her head. “No more,” he soothed. “We’re finished.”
She nearly wept with relief as she clutched his shirt and buried her face in it. “Why were you so hard on me?”
Ash tipped her chin up and looked at her with a fierceness that took her breath away. “Because if you die, it will be my fault, and I can’t live with that.” He leaned down, bringing his lips so close they brushed against hers as he whispered, “Or without you.”
She didn’t know who kissed who that time, but it didn’t matter. A warmth radiated through her from the places they touched, bringing an energy she didn’t think possible. The hands and arms that had frustrated her all night with their quickness and power now moved slowly and caressed gently. Ash tentatively explored the curves of her back and hips, and she encouraged him with her sighs to grow bolder, until she felt his hands traveling down and around her thighs.
Ash rolled from his back onto his side to face her, and she grabbed his waist with a need to be closer still. Her fingers brushed skin where his shirt had come untucked, making him moan softly into her hair. Sage smiled and slipped her hand under the fabric. She traced her fingertips up the hard muscles of his back, enjoying the way he responded to her touch. Then his mouth was on hers again with a hunger she felt equally, and he was tugging her top out to make her react in the same way.
His calloused hands were so gentle as they traced her spine. When he spread his fingers, they seemed to cover her whole back. Her own fingers found the texture of a broad scar under his shoulder—evidence of his deadly past and future, of his strength. But here, now, he was vulnerable to the softest touch. He trembled at the slightest noise she made. She felt dizzy with a sense of power, despite the fact that he was so much stronger. But Ash would never hurt her. Sage only had to say no, and he would stop.
She didn’t want to say no.
Sage turned her face into his hair as he trailed soft kisses down her neck. A shiver ran through him as her breath grazed his ear.
“Ash,” she whispered.
The hands on her back curled into fists, and his body went completely rigid. He buried his face in her shoulder, groaning, “Sweet Spirit, NO!”
She’d done something wrong. “You don’t have to stop—”
“Yes, I do.” His eyes were desperate as he leaned back and pulled his hands out from her shirt. “There are things you don’t know, Sage.”
“Then tell me.”
“Soon, sweet Sage. I promise.” He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her softly as the last candle went out. “Just not tonight.”
56
NOISE IN THE passage outside woke her. Ash was still stroking her back as he had been when she drifted off to sleep. He’d pulled the musty blanket up around them, but most of her warmth came from him. “We need to get up,” he whispered.
She snuggled closer. “I don’t want to,” she mumbled into his shirt.
He kissed the top of her head. “Neither do I, but we must.”