“I’m not clamming up. I know you don’t care how I feel, and I know I deserve that, but this is hard for me. You have no idea how difficult it is reliving all of the selfish choices you made and thinking about the people you hurt along the way, but I know I need to do this. You need to hear all of this from me, and not from someone who will twist the truth to suit his needs,” she whispers brokenly.
My mother takes a deep breath and my world crumbles around me into a pile of ash as she continues.
“He fixed everything. He covered it up and he paid off all of the debt because he knew,” she whispers. “He knew I was desperate. He knew I would have done anything to protect myself and to keep the life I had. He knew and I let him use me. I let him do whatever he wanted because I was weak and selfish. I let him continue holding it over my head for years, I let him threaten me and I let him take advantage of everything just to keep it quiet. I never wanted anyone to know. I never wanted anyone to find out what I’d done and the person I’d become.”
I take a few steps away from her until my back hits the ballet barre, wanting to be as far away from this woman as possible. I’m ashamed of her for being so weak and only caring about her reputation and her money after what she’d done.
“Why did he do it? What did he want so badly that he would do all of this for you?” I ask angrily, already knowing, already realizing what she’s going to say and feeling like a fool for never seeing it before now.
“You,” she sobs softly.
My knees unlock as soon as she says that one word. The one I knew was coming but wouldn’t allow myself to truly believe until she says it. My knees give out and my legs buckle, the weight of all these truths at once finally becoming too much and it takes me down.
Chapter 28
Eli
I’m across the room in a flash as soon as I see Shelby’s legs give out, my arms going around her right before she hits the floor. I should have gone to her sooner, should have held on to her as soon as I walked in the door and heard Georgia telling her how much she hated her.
When I received a phone call from Paul a few hours after Shelby left me, all he said was that I needed to get myself over to the stables immediately. That Shelby was “in her room” and her mother was heading that way.
I knew her mother wanted to talk to her and I knew Shelby was nervous, but I had no idea Georgia would say the things to her that she did. I can’t even imagine how it must feel to have your own mother tell you she never liked you, never wanted you, and was always jealous of you. My parents might not have been around much, weren’t very good at taking care of anyone but themselves, but they never hated us.
My heart breaks for her more than it does for myself. I couldn’t stand the way Shelby’s worried, tear-filled eyes looked at me when her mother admitted to killing my parents. I want her to know I wasn’t shocked, that I’d known all along. My shock only came from Georgia finally admitting the truth, but I don’t have time to do anything more than cradle Shelby in my arms and rock her back and forth as her mother continues.
“I’m sorry, Shelby. You have no idea how sorry I am,” Georgia tells her.
She wraps her arms around her own body to comfort herself, staring at her daughter as she clings to me, pressing her face into my chest.
“I spoke to Landry earlier and told him I was finished playing his games. As soon as we’re finished here, I’m turning myself in to the police for what I did to your parents, Eli.”
Running my hand soothingly down the back of Shelby’s head, she finally pulls her face away from my chest and stares at her mother. The tears are all dried up and she looks at her with absolutely no emotion.
“I think we’re finished here,” Shelby whispers.
Georgia takes a step toward us and lifts her arm to touch Shelby, but quickly thinks better of it, dropping it back down to her side when I tighten my arms around her and Shelby presses her cheek back to my chest.
“I tried. I know it was too late, but I tried,” Georgia tells us again.
I want to ask her what the hell she’s talking about, how she tried to do anything but ruin us, but I don’t want to hear anything else out of her mouth. I don’t want her to say anything else that will crush Shelby.
When Shelby doesn’t say anything to her, Georgia nods, lifting her eyes to mine. When she realizes I’m not going to give her anything either, she finally turns and walks from the room, Shelby and I standing together quietly, watching her go.
We stay like this silently for a long time, Shelby’s arms locked tightly around my waist and me continuing to rock her back and forth gently. After a while, she finally looks up at me, resting her chin on my chest.
“Tell me what you need,” I whisper down to her, hating the sorrow I see etched on her face.
“Just you,” she replies. “And maybe some music. I don’t want to think about anything right now, I just want to dance with you.”
I smile at her, running my hand down the side of her face before I pull away and quickly walk over to the sound system. Powering it up, I set it to a jazz station, walk back to Shelby, and pull her into my arms again. Neither of us says a word as I take her hand and begin to lead her. We dance in silence and I let her feel the music, knowing I’ll stay here and dance with her forever, or at least until the shock wears off and she’s ready to talk.
I should have known the peacefulness of our quiet dancing wouldn’t last long. I should have taken the time to really process Georgia’s words when she told us she’d called Landry and told him she was done. So many things I should have done, but especially the most important one—allowing that thing clawing at the back of my mind to finally be set free on my own, in my own way, in the comfort of Shelby’s arms so it didn’t wreck us both.
*
“Well, isn’t this just the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen.”
Shelby’s eyes dart to the door and I sigh when I hear his sarcastic voice. I thought we might have a little more time alone before this had to happen, but I should have known when Georgia said she spoke to him that he wouldn’t be smart enough to realize it was over. That he was over.
Gently moving Shelby out of my arms, I turn to face Landry, pushing her behind me to keep her safe. He looks like absolute shit. His normally slicked-back hair is standing on end as he’d held it in his fists and tried to yank it out by the roots. His face is flushed, his white dress shirt is dotted with sweat stains, and his tie is loose and hanging all askew.
“No, really, don’t stop dancing on my account. Or would you rather fuck him right in front of me, Shelby, since you’ve obviously had no trouble doing it behind my back?” he asks angrily, tilting his head to look behind me.
“Go to hell, Landry,” Shelby fires back. “My mother has already gone to the police. It’s only a matter of time before they find you and arrest your ass as well.”
He tips his head back and laughs.