‘That’s how I sees it, miss,’ he said.
‘I suppose you had a rootle round outside?’ I said.
‘I rootled like a good ’un, miss,’ said Hancock with a chuckle. ‘Didn’t find nothin’, mind. The grass wiped his boots clean and the trail disappears. He was headin’ back to the road, though, I reckons.’
‘It certainly looks like it, doesn’t it,’ I agreed. ‘Ah well, nothing much else to see here. Let’s go and see how Lady Whatshername is getting on.’
‘I’m fine, thank you, pet,’ she said from the doorway. ‘What have I missed?’
I explained my thoughts on the trail as she looked around the storeroom for herself, sketching as she went. ‘It was certainly very obliging of him to leave such obvious spoor,’ she said as she crouched to examine the spilled oilcan.
‘I wouldn’t read too much into it, m’lady,’ said Hancock. ‘No one ever lost money bettin’ on the stupidity of the average criminal. Like as not he really was too gormless to realize what a trail he was leavin’.’
‘I dare say,’ she said, pensively. ‘Who found that they’d been burgled?’
‘Caretaker, m’lady. Morris Freeborn.’
‘Trustworthy chap?’
‘Trustworthy as they come, m’lady,’ he said. ‘He i’n’t so bright, but he’s the salt of the earth. He come in this mornin’ to clear up. He took one look at the bar, but decided to come out to check the committee room first, start himself off gentle, like. And that's where he finds the bootprints. He follows them into the room, he finds the cabinet empty and then he was straight back out on his bike to fetch me and the sergeant. He was in a bit of a state so we sent him home.’
‘Very thoughtful of you,’ said Lady Hardcastle with a smile. ‘Well, I confess I’m no expert on the scenes of crimes so I’m not entirely sure I know what else to look for. I think we ought to leave that to you, Sergeant.’
‘Thank you, m’lady,’ he said. ‘But to tell the truth I don’t reckon there’s much more to be seen. I was plannin’ to lock up and head back to the station.’
‘Right you are,’ she said, ‘We’ll walk with you.’
We heard the sound of the main doors opening. ‘Is anyone there?’ called a man’s voice. I recognized it from the previous evening as Lancelot Treble.
‘In the storeroom,’ called the sergeant in reply.
We left the storeroom and met Mr Treble in the corridor; he wanted to see the empty cabinet for himself. We left him to it, telling him that we’d wait for him in the main room where Lady Hardcastle and I made ourselves comfortable in the armchairs near the stove. Constable Hancock milled restlessly about, clearly unable to make up his mind whether to stay or go, and eventually ambled outside into the sunshine.
At length Mr Treble finished his examination of the scene of the crime and joined us in the main room. He flopped into a chair. Lady Hardcastle raised an eyebrow but it took a few moments for Mr Treble to notice.
‘I’m so sorry, Lady H,’ he said lazily. ‘Don’t mind if I sit down? It’s been a bit of a morning.’
‘Help yourself,’ she said with a faint hint of frostiness. ‘It’s your clubhouse.’
He made no reply but just sighed theatrically and rested his head on the back of the armchair with his eyes closed. After gathering his wits for a few moments, he opened his eyes once more and looked towards Lady Hardcastle.
‘If you don't mind my asking,’ he said in a tone that carried no genuine concern whether she minded or not, ‘what on earth are you doing here?’
‘We’re investigating your burglary,’ said Lady Hardcastle, politely.
‘You’re doing what?’ he said with some astonishment.
‘Investigating your burglary,’ she said again, affably.
‘And why on earth...?’
‘Sergeant Dobson asked us to. We’ve helped him out with a few things in the past and he thought we might be able to help him get to the bottom of this little mystery.’
He laughed. ‘Well I never. You’ll forgive me if I suggest that there’s not really much of a mystery here, though. Some passing scallywag tried the back door, found it open, and came in to help himself to the contents of the trophy cabinet.’
‘That much is true,’ she said. ‘But it ignores a couple of interesting things. Not only did he go directly to the committee room as though he knew that’s where the trophies were, but he completely ignored two cases of scotch, one of gin, several cases of wine, two barrels of beer and one of cider – all eminently marketable items – and went straight for some memorabilia with value only to the club and a very recognizable trophy which will be almost impossible to sell.’
Treble sat a little straighter and his look of condescension faded away. ‘Well, I never,’ he said again. ‘You really are rather good, aren’t you. My apologies if I seemed rude, my lady. It’s been a disappointing morning.’ His tone had changed from faint mockery to ill-concealed wariness.
‘Please, think nothing of it,’ she said with a smile. ‘Have you had a chance to have a good look round? Is anything else missing? Any money?’
He smiled ruefully. ‘No, we’d never keep club money on the premises, even if we had any. There’s a few bob in the cash box behind the bar, but that’s not been touched.’
‘No money? But you have that frightfully expensive lawnmower.’
‘Gift from an old member. Made his fortune in the colonies in oil, or tin, or rubber, or something. Said he wanted to give something back to the club that had brought him so much joy as a young man. We could have done with the cash, to be honest, but it keeps the pitch looking smart, I suppose.’
‘I see,’ she said. ‘So tell me what happened last night.’
‘There’s a reason we leave the ladies behind,’ he said with a grin. ‘A chap’s got to have one or two secrets from the missus.’
‘In general terms, then, without betraying any confidences. I’m not sure we’re quite ready for the gorier details.’
‘Very well,’ he sighed. ‘We arrived here by charabanc at around a quarter to one, I’d guess. Strong liquor was taken, yarns were spun, songs were sung, pranks were played and the gentlemen of the club began to drift off to their homes and their slumbering loved ones at about three. By a quarter to four only Flying Billy, Big Jim, Lofty and I remained, so we did our best to tidy up…’ he ruefully indicated the chaos of the room, ‘…and then let ourselves out of the front door, carefully locking it behind us.’
‘Without checking the storeroom door?’ I asked.
‘We barely managed what we did, my dear,’ he said. ‘I fear that remembering to check the back doors was quite beyond us.’
‘And you walked home?’ said Lady Hardcastle.
‘Yes, the four of us staggered out onto the road and wended our weary way back to the village.’
‘You stayed together?’
‘Not the whole way,’ he said. ‘We gradually split up as we passed nearby each chap’s house. Lofty went first, then Billy, then I left Big Jim to walk the last quarter mile on his own.’