It was becoming something of a routine, this “interrupting Flo while she’s busy making breakfast” thing, and I joked to myself as I shambled through to the hall that it was probably Sergeant Dobson with news of a baffling crime which had happened overnight and which he was powerless to solve. I opened the door.
‘Mornin’, miss,’ said Sergeant Dobson. He noticed my state of dress. ‘Sorry to bother you so… early… but is your mistress at home? There’s been a bit of a to-do up at the rugby club.’
I smiled ruefully. ‘Come on in, Sergeant,’ I said. ‘Make yourself comfortable in the kitchen and I’ll see if I can rouse her. I’ve only just lit the range, so tea might take a while, but I’ll do my best when I get back.’
I left him to find his own way to the kitchen and went upstairs. Lady Hardcastle was just beginning to stir as I drew the curtains and let the morning sun bring life to the room.
‘What ho, pet,’ she croaked. ‘Was that the door?’
‘I’m afraid so, my lady,’ I said, picking up her dressing gown and holding it for her. ‘Sergeant Dobson with news of a “to-do” at the rugby club.’
‘That’s scarcely news,’ she said as she shrugged into the silken robe. ‘We saw them all setting off there last night after dinner. There was bound to be a to-do of some sort.’
‘That’s what I thought, my lady, but I doubt he’s come over to tell us that some rugby players got a little drunk and sang filthy songs. I suspect that something else has happened.’
‘As long as this “something else” comes with tea and aspirin, I’m game for anything.’
‘That’s certainly the talk in the taverns, my lady,’ I said, and we went downstairs together.
The sergeant stood as we entered the kitchen.
‘Good morning, Sergeant dear,’ said Lady Hardcastle. ‘Please sit down. Is there tea, Flo?’
‘The range is still warming up, my lady,’ I said. ‘The kettle’s on but it might be a while yet.’
‘No matter,’ she said. ‘Perhaps a glass of water? Can we get you anything, Sergeant? Water? Milk?’
‘I shall be fine, thank you, m’lady,’ he said. ‘If there’s tea before I leaves that’ll be handsome, but to tell the truth I probably drinks too much of it as ’t is.’
‘I know what you mean,’ she said with a smile. ‘So what’s this “to-do” at the rugby club?’
‘There’s been a burglary.’
‘Has there, indeed? But the First XV and half the rest of the club were up there last night. How on earth did anyone manage to burgle the place?’
‘That’s the baffling part, m’lady. That’s why I come over here. I called Bristol for a detective, and Gloucester too, but they said they can’t spare anyone for something as trifling as a few rugby trophies and said I should do my best on my own, like.’
‘You’re never on your own in Littleton Cotterell, Sergeant,’ she said bracingly. ‘We shall help, shan’t we, pet?’
‘Of course, my lady,’ I said. ‘Anything and everything we can do.’
‘I knew I could rely on you two,’ said the sergeant with evident relief. ‘Thank you.’
‘So tell all. What actually happened?’ asked Lady Hardcastle.
‘Well,’ he said, ‘I gathers you was at The Grey Goose with ’em last night.’
‘We were,’ I said.
‘Right. And you left about midnight when the lads all went back up to the club.’
‘Exactly so,’ said Lady Hardcastle. ‘I presumed the beer would flow and hijinks would ensue.’
‘And so they did, m’lady. I woke Lance Treble this morning after the theft had been reported, and he said a rollicking good time was had by all. Well, he did once he’d stopped… beggin’ your pardon, ladies, but he was a little the worse for wear.’
‘I can very well imagine,’ said Lady Hardcastle, sipping her water.
‘According to Lance, they was all there till about four this mornin’ when he locked up and staggered home.’
‘So the burglar struck after dawn? And when there were potentially dozens of burly men around to see him. Intriguing. Perhaps he was watching the place to see when everyone left. Or perhaps he was a lucky opportunist. How did he get in? What did he take?
‘There’s a store room on the side of the clubhouse. They keeps groundskeeping tools up one end so there’s a door to the outside, and crates of beer and whatnot down t’other so there’s an inside door an’ all. It don’t look like either door was locked.’
‘If Treble were three sheets to the wind when he left, it’s not beyond the bounds of possibility that he might have neglected his custodial responsibilities,’ said Lady Hardcastle, thoughtfully. ‘Were there any other possible means of entry?’
‘Maybe, m’lady, but to tell the truth we stopped looking.’
‘Oh?’ she said. ‘Why’s that?’
‘Footprints. Seems friend burglar stepped in a puddle of oil from the lawnmower and left a trail clear as day.’
‘How very inept of him,’ she said.
‘Or suspiciously convenient for us,’ I said.
‘Well, quite,’ she said.
‘As for what he took,’ resumed the sergeant, consulting his notebook, ‘that’s interestin’, too. He left the beer, the spirits, and the cash behind the bar, and helped himself to the Wessex Challenge Cup, a runner-up shield won by the Second XV in last year’s Severn Vale Tournament, a jersey worn by Ripper Henderson in the Great Brawl of ’98, and the penny the club originally paid for the land on which the club was built in 1895. Everything, in fact, that was in the trophy cabinet in the committee room.’
‘Well I never,’ she said. ‘Sentimental value only, then?’
‘Well, the Wessex cup is silver – that’d fetch a few bob. But you’re right, m’lady, the rest is only special to the club.’
‘Well, now that makes it all rather fascinating, eh, Flo? Oily footprints and missing trophies. Right up our street.’ She paused for a moment. ‘Righto, Sergeant,’ she said, ‘here’s the plan. Don’t let anyone interfere with the scene of the crime until Flo and I have had a chance to look round. We’ll get dressed and make our way over there as soon as we can.’
‘Right you are, m’lady. I’ve left young Hancock at the club, he knows what to do. I appreciates your help.’ He got up to leave.
‘It’s entirely our pleasure, Sergeant. We had nothing planned today, did we, Flo?’
‘No, my lady,’ I said with a smile which I hoped concealed my disappointment at seeing my quiet, lazy Saturday slipping away from me.
‘Then I shall see myself out and leave you to your… preparations,’ said the sergeant. ‘Thank you again.’
Once he had gone, I took the still-unboiled kettle from the range and we both bustled off to get ready to face the criminal world once more.