Providing I didn’t wait too long like I worried I’d done with my mom.
I continued to live in the haze of fear while Cash drove. He’d packed up the dinner we hadn’t eaten and brought it with us, but I wasn’t hungry. The thought of eating made me sick to my stomach. Aria yammered away from the back seat, and thankfully, Cash was there to keep her entertained. The entire time, I did nothing but stare out the window at the signs and trees whipping by, hoping and praying my mom would make it through.
It was almost nine by the time we pulled up to the hospital. Stevie had stayed in touch so she could meet us there, but when I sent her a text informing her we had arrived, she said she was still a few minutes away.
“I’m not taking her in there.” I pointed to the bright-red emergency sign.
“Go…I’ll stand out here with Aria and wait for Stevie. You head inside and find out what’s going on. It shouldn’t be too long. I’ll try to get up to the ICU waiting room, but if they won’t let me in, I’ll just shoot you a text to let you know where I’ll be.”
The thought of going in there alone, without Cash, terrified me. But standing out here with my mother lying in a hospital bed was even worse. It came down to the lesser of two evils, so I gave my daughter a kiss and then squeezed Cash’s hand before walking through the sliding doors.
I’d expected chaos, lots of people running around, coughing, maybe some kids crying in chairs, holding a broken arm. But there was none of that. The doors opened up to a large atrium with a fountain, glass elevators along one side. An open hallway stood to the left, and through it, I could see what I assumed was the food court. A wooden desk loomed straight ahead, past the fountain, with another hall to the right.
My feet carried me forward until I stood in front of the receptionist. She looked friendly, older with glasses that appeared to have no rims. A beaded chain dangled from the thin, gold stems to her shoulders, wrapping around the back of her neck.
“I’m here to see my mom.” I immediately lowered my voice, worried it would carry in the quiet, open space. “I believe she’s in ICU. Her name is Lindsey Pierce. She was in—”
“Do you have a photo ID?” Apparently, this woman wasn’t as sweet as I’d initially thought—either that, or she assumed I was upset and decided to cut me off before I continued to waste her time with my rambling.
I dug my license out of my wallet and passed it over the top of the desk. She typed a few things into her keyboard, the clicking sounds slowing time even more. I was impatient, and it didn’t appear this woman was in any hurry.
“I’m sorry…” She glanced at my ID again before handing it back. “Ms. Robertson, but there’s a note on here that she’s not allowed any visitors.”
“I know. She’s in the ICU, but I was told family could see her. I’m her family.”
“Well, according to my screen, she only has one family member permitted to see her.”
Tears danced behind my eyes, a lump formed in my throat, and my heart raced at being this close yet so far away. I paused for a moment to collect myself, and then I tried again. “I can follow those rules. I don’t have any problem with that. I just need to get up there so I can talk to someone about her, so I can find out what’s going on.”
“I’m so sorry, but I think you’ve misunderstood. I’m not saying only one person in the room with her at a time. Her information in the computer has it as she only has one relative. Her husband is here if you’d like to speak with him.”
I gritted my teeth, repulsed at the thought of having to deal with him. But I wasn’t left with much of a choice. If I had any desire at all to see my mother, I had to grin and bear it. I had to suck up the hatred for the man and get through it.
Just then, his voice carried down the hall to the right. No one had needed to call him. It was like he’d sensed I was here and had come running just to taunt me, to prove one more time how my mom would always choose him over me. I wouldn’t have put it past him to have altered her familial information when she’d arrived. If she were unconscious, he would’ve been the one to fill out her paperwork…and he would’ve kept my name off just to spite me.
“I didn’t think you’d show up.” He came to a stop and leaned against the desk.
I fisted my hands at my sides, desperately holding back the fiery anger that boiled inside toward him for so many things, but most importantly, for keeping my mom from me for so long. I knew that he had swayed most of her decisions—and he never bothered to hide that fact from me. I squared my shoulders, lifted my chin, and made sure he understood I wasn’t going to back down.
“My mom is in the hospital, in the ICU…why wouldn’t I come? Just because you filled out paperwork to exclude me from her list of approved visitors doesn’t mean I’ll give up. It won’t stop me. I’ll have the director of this hospital on the phone, and I bet he’ll let me up there to see her.”
“Now, Jade…” He rested his hand on my shoulder and tilted his head, adding to the condescending way he said my name. “There’s no need to revert to the problem child just to get your way. I’m sure there’s a compromise somewhere.”
My skin crawled where he touched me. Utter disgust ran rampant through me until I shrugged him off and took a step back, my hands still clenched.
Just then, the woman behind the desk cleared her throat, reminding me of her presence. “Do I need to call security?” She glanced between the two of us, probably unsure as to which one would cause an issue. And at this point, I more than likely appeared as hostile as I felt.
“I don’t know…” I stared at him, narrowing my gaze with heavy tension in my brow. “Does she? Or are you going to let me see my own mother?”
The way the corners of his mouth practically curled with his smile reminded me of the Guy Fawkes mask from V for Vendetta. It was sinister and caused bile to rise and settle in the back of my throat. Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around my waist, as if attempting to protect myself.
When he held my shoulder again, giving it a tight squeeze, something snapped inside me. It was as if fear and anger formed an alliance and created an emotion unlike any other. It burned hot with rage, and desperation added a level of impulsivity that made it as dangerous as an uncontrollable fire. But it was restrained by maturity—although that was nothing more than an illusion of safety. Like the hydrogen nestled inside the confines of the Hindenburg, waiting to dock before igniting in a blaze of untamable fury.