“That’s where I was headed. I’m starting to think everyone on this island can tell I don’t belong here—because, you know, my Jetta is a rather sure sign of that—and they find great entertainment in making me drive in circles. If I had Facebook, I’m sure I’d see an entire thread dedicated to the poor woman in the midnight-blue hooptie who drove up and down the island looking for milk.”
I started to laugh, and had even opened my mouth to offer reassurance, but rather than words coming out, my amusement turned into an airy “oomph” just before being sucked back into my lungs in a whistling inhale through clenched teeth and tight lips. The back of her hand had barely connected with me, and had mostly come in contact with my pec and upper arm, but the way my body coiled tight and flinched against her innocent assault left my ribs screaming in agony.
“Oh my God!” she cried after realizing what she’d done.
Her teasing attacks were fine when we faced the water, but when we both turned around, it put her on my right side. Couple that with our height difference, and the range of motion when swinging her arm lined up perfectly with my injury.
“I’m so sorry, Cash. I didn’t mean to do that. I wasn’t thinking.” She spoke so fast it was like one, long word broken up by hyphens, but she wouldn’t stop. Even if I could breathe enough to speak without sounding like my balls were lodged in my throat, she wouldn’t have given me enough room between her profuse apologies and repentant excuses.
I grabbed her by the back of the neck with my left hand and tucked my right arm across my abdomen, pulling her closer for a couple of reasons. One: to shut her the fuck up. And two: I needed something to steady me while I fought to regain normal function. It took a lot to knock the wind out of me and keep me down this long. But with her forehead to my chest, I clung to the physical support she offered while I composed myself.
One time, in my first year on the job, I’d been so zoned in on my mark that I missed the car heading down the road in front of me. Well, that was a lie…I hadn’t missed it. In fact, I realized it was there when I stepped out into the street only to be thrown against the windshield before rolling off the hood. In my defense, it was a smart car, and couldn’t have been going faster than fifteen miles per hour—basically, no different than a child on a bicycle. But still, even after that, I’d gotten up and brushed myself off. Yet this little spitfire tapped me with nothing more than the back of her hand in jest, and I was ready to crawl into the fetal position and head toward the white light.
After I could finally take in enough air without feeling every molecule of oxygen in my ribcage, I slowly released her, but she didn’t back away. Instead, she remained in front of me, glistening eyes set on mine, her hands gently holding my hips.
“Seriously, Cash…what did the doctor say?”
“It’s nothing, Jade. Just a few minor fractures. Nothing they can do about it. I just have to let them heal on their own, but right now, the worst pain is coming from the bruising and swelling. Doc said I’ll be able to move again in about a week or so.” Actually, he said I was lucky it wasn’t worse, and not to expect to resume normal activity for six weeks. I heard one week.
“Fractured ribs? Did they give you pain meds?” Panic swept across her face.
I shook my head and ran the pad of my thumb down her soft cheek. “Yeah, but I refuse to take them. I’ll stick with ibuprofen.”
“But if you’re in pain…”
This time, I placed my thumb over her warm, moist lips and set my eyes on hers. “I don’t like to not have control over myself. Drugs—of any kind, prescribed or not—fuck with your head. As does alcohol.”
“So you don’t drink?”
“I’ll have one or two from time to time, but not enough to feel the effects.”
The waves crashed behind us, rolling onto the shore before being sucked back out. The breeze blew all around, winding between us like strips of cool satin. Nothing else could’ve been heard for miles other than nature’s rhythmic melody.
After a moment of nothing but staring into each other’s eyes, she quickly dropped her gaze to my chest, and in a controlled, steady voice, she said, “Let me take a look.”
When her fingers found the zipper pull to my hoodie, I clasped my hand over them. “Jade, it’s dark out here; you won’t be able to see anything.”
She glanced around, as if just now realizing the fading colors of the sunset had vanished into the night sky, leaving little to offer her for a visual inspection of my chest. But that didn’t stop her plight—probably still consumed with guilt over hurting me in the first place, and needing to make sure I didn’t have a bone protruding from my side. “It’ll just take a second.”
Giving up, I allowed her to unzip my jacket and slide it over my shoulders, down my arms, until she had it pulled completely off my body. I was unable to lift my arm without feeling faint, so she nestled herself into the small amount of space I provided and drew her attention close to the almost black cloud covering my ribs.
Her fingertips barely grazed my side, tracing the lines of discoloration. It wasn’t enough to inflict pain, but it was the kind of touch that healed the broken. I mimicked every breath she took, feeling her soft exhales dance along my skin like warm, whispered prayers willing me back to health. I grew dizzy at her attention, but not from pain or lack of oxygen. I wasn’t sure what had my head all wrapped up and ready to float away, and I wasn’t sure I liked it, but I didn’t have the wherewithal to make her stop.
Finally, she took a step back, her hand falling down my arm until our fingers were linked in the lightest hold—so light it felt like I was holding the hand of an angel. “Let’s go put ice on it. I haven’t seen you do it all day.” And then she led me through the sand, across the road, and up the three wooden steps to the front door.
I’d been to the beach countless times since moving here, but none had ever been like that. Even without getting my feet wet once, or even venturing off enough to say I’d walked along the shore, it fulfilled something no other visit had.
The next day during Aria’s nap, Jade had just fallen asleep on the couch. Her soft snores filled the otherwise quiet room, when Aria decided she was done with her nap. I’d just sat down on the loveseat when I heard her tiny knocks on her door, followed by, “Mommy? I awake, Mommy.”