His gaze narrowed, hard and intense.
“I’ve spent almost two months on my friend’s couch—technically on the floor because the couch isn’t big enough for Aria and me. I told Stevie four weeks ago that I would find another place to live, and I’ve spent those days and weeks talking to you. The clock is running out. And it’s clear this isn’t going to work, so there’s no point in going in circles, wasting even more time.”
The shadow over his eyes cast by his knitted brow made him appear angry. Although, his words didn’t match. They didn’t sound happy; rather, the tone resonated with more confusion than anything when he asked, “You don’t have a job, so how are you planning on moving out of your friend’s house? How do you expect to pay rent?”
“I have savings. My dad had a college fund set aside for me, but I never used it for that. I attended a community college and had a scholarship that covered seventy-five percent of my expenses. I lived at home so I didn’t have room and board. I can pay rent, but until I can find a job that will help put some of that money back into the account, I can’t afford much.”
“So you’re living off your savings? How long will that last you?”
“Depends on how much rent is. Aria’s still in diapers, so that’s an added cost that will drop off once I settle somewhere with an accessible bathroom I can use to train her in.”
“Wait…” He held up a hand to halt my explanation. “What do you mean an accessible bathroom?”
“Stevie’s place only has one, and it’s in her room. So after they go to bed at night, I can’t use it.”
“If you have to pee, where do you go?”
My cheeks flamed with the heat of a thousand fires, and I tried to look away, but no matter where my eyes went, his followed. “The kitchen.”
His mouth fell open, anger on some level highlighting his face. “Why did you move out of your mom’s house?”
“I already told you; I don’t get along with my stepdad.”
“It’s so bad you couldn’t stay there until you figured something else out?”
“Yeah.” No matter what I said, he wouldn’t understand.
He nodded and then turned his head to the side, staring at something off in the distance—or nothing at all. “Were you serious about moving to Geneva Key? You were ready to pack you and your daughter up and relocate across the state? Away from your family?”
No, I wasn’t. I hated change and disruption.
But by now, I didn’t have much of a choice.
“As long as…” I couldn’t even say the words, realizing how desperate I sounded. No mother in their right mind, regardless of age, would move her small child in with a stranger—a male, at that. Though, what had started out as something to entertain myself, had turned into something I least expected. I may have been na?ve and slightly irrational due to the inconsistency of my life over the last two months, but I truly believed I could trust Cash.
“As long as you know I’m not a bad guy?” He finished my sentence for me.
“Yeah,” I whispered with a nod.
“Like I’ve said before, Jade…I don’t have a way to prove that to you. I can give you every piece of information about me to do your own research, but other than that, my hands are tied. If I pull my own report for you, you’ll never trust that I didn’t tamper with it. If I give you names of people to call for character references, you’ll continue to have doubts about the people I didn’t give you numbers for. I can’t win here. I want to help you, I really do, but there’s not much else I can do. We’re innocent until proven guilty, but with all the fucking crazy psychos and evil in the world, there’s no such thing as innocent anymore, either.”
He leaned forward and took my hands in his, locking his gaze on mine. In the depths of his raven eyes, I saw a sincerity I never knew existed. He spoke quietly, directly to me, when he said, “I completely understand where you’re coming from. I hope you realize that. Your daughter comes first. Her safety should always be your number-one priority, and I have nothing but respect for you for doing what needs to be done for her. I hate the living situation you’re in right now, but if it’s better than where you were before, then don’t ever doubt that.”
Tears filled my eyes. I had learned the hard way that people only let you see what they wanted you to. It didn’t matter if you knew someone for an hour, a day, a year, or ten years, you never truly knew who they were in their heart until they were ready to show you. So, at the end of the day, everyone is either a stranger, or you choose to trust them all until they prove themselves unworthy of it.
The problem comes when your trust is broken. When the devil inside shows his face. You’re lucky if it’s something superficial, something that won’t cut you off at the knees. But as I’d learned about evil hiding in plain sight, when the angelic mask comes off, you’re already broken into unmeasurable pieces, unable to put yourself back together again.
Even Satan had wings at one point.
Cash reached up and wiped a falling tear from my cheek with his thumb. “It’s going to be all right, Jade. You’ll figure it out. One way or another, you’ll land on your feet.”
I didn’t believe a word he said, but I wasn’t about to argue. “Thank you,” I whispered while using the back of my hand to finish clearing away the evidence of my pitiful agony. I hated crying, the weakness it portrayed, but for whatever reason, I couldn’t hide that from him. “I’m sorry I’ve wasted so much of your time. I know you really want to find a roommate, and I monopolized four weeks that you could’ve used searching for someone else.”
He moistened his lips and sat back, just in time for the waitress to bring our food. I was no longer hungry, and by the way he pushed his plate forward, I assumed he felt the same. “You didn’t waste my time. In truth, I just needed companionship, and you gave that to me. I’m the one who should be apologizing to you.”
“Why? What’d you do?”
“You needed a place to stay, and I needed someone to talk to. I got what I was looking for—you did that for me—but your need hasn’t been met yet. And I hate that. It makes me feel selfish.”
“Don’t blame yourself, seriously. You didn’t know I have a kid, so it’s not your fault.”
“I’m not worried about her, if that’s what you’re thinking.” His jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed as he hunched forward with his elbows on the table. “You think I’m saying no to you because of your daughter?”