The Rise and Fall of D.O.D.O.

Frank was a bit dubious that I had invited Magnus, whom he saw as a sort of man-child who would require a lot of management at the dinner table. I was therefore braced for all sorts of Asterix and Obelix hijinks when he showed up, but this could not have been further from the case. During his stint as a Varangian Guard at the court of the Byzantine Emperor, Magnus obviously learned how to behave in formal social situations. He was on his best behavior, taking everything in with his quick blue eyes, asking intelligent questions of Tristan and Constance, showing me a degree of courtesy that was almost comically formal. I put the Thanksgiving decorations up last week—the usual kitschy stuff that has been in the family forever—but he took it very seriously and asked many questions (through Constance) until Tristan mercifully took over and gave him the whole download about turkeys, pilgrims, cranberries, the Wampanoag tribe, etc. I don’t speak Norman French, of course, but this apparently segued into questions about DODO’s vacation policy (Magnus understands that no one is expected to work on that Thursday) and Black Friday and Yuletide shopping and all the rest.

During dinner Magnus and Gráinne kept sizing each other up across the table, as though they’d taken each other’s measure and were circling warily, but they seem to have arrived at a decision to stay out of each other’s way. Constance observed apprehensively, Julie was fascinated, Mortimer cheerfully oblivious as usual. Erszebet was down at Frank’s end, seated to his right in the position of honor, a detail she, and only she, would appreciate. She still views him as a sort of highfalutin techno-butler, and patronized him with questions about the plans to mount the ATTO on a truck and drive it around while conducting various experiments. These are now scheduled to begin immediately after Thanksgiving—Blevins has announced that “Black Friday” will not be a holiday for DODO personnel, and everyone is expected to show up for work as usual instead of participating in TV set riots at their local Walmart. Frank answered patiently and thus caught the attention of Magnus, who doesn’t have much modern English vocabulary but does respond to “truck” and “Walmart” and a few other terms like “touchdown,” “iPhone,” and “Google.” Like most other male Anachrons he views the latter as a near-miraculous way of viewing pictures of naked ladies. Between that and his fascination with trucks I suppose I can see why Blevins and others see him as a bit of a simpleton. But it is quite obviously a matter of male jealousy. Magnus is ludicrously hyper-masculine in ways that have been bred and trained out of modern-day men and so they have to deprecate his intelligence.

In any event we got through the evening without any sword-or cat-fights. There was the usual fuss trying to get people to leave so that I could tidy up alone, which I prefer. I had Frank summon the MUON van to get rid of Erszebet, Gráinne, and Constance, and leaned on Mortimer and Julie to give Magnus a lift back to the SARF. I shooed Tristan and Frank out and they went to the basement to drink scotch and speak of Deep Dark Things. Melisande stayed to help clear dishes. She has seemed a little distant lately, and uncharacteristically wistful, so I asked her directly what was going on. Knowing as she does that I’ve decided to step away from DODO in all capacities except witch-work, she confessed she was thinking of leaving too—entirely—sometime in the new year. She attributed this to (a) Blevins’s unending denigrations of her competence and (b) more significantly, the growing shift away from diachronic work (where her expertise is clearly valued) and toward psychological operations (which she not only is not expert on, but which she finds more ethically problematic, as do I). I think however there is also (c): she and Tristan have teetered at the edge of a relationship for so long, and never yet fallen into it, and she is tired of that balancing act. Men are always better at compartmentalizing these things. I don’t especially say that in a laudatory way.





Exchange of posts by DODO staff

on “Anachrons” ODIN channel

DAY 1937 (17 NOVEMBER, YEAR 5)

Post from LTC Tristan Lyons, 08:30:

FFS where is Magnus? He was supposed to be here on the 0800 bus from the SARF for a seminar in Violence(s) Ethnology. This is the third time he’s been late.

Usually he’s a morning person.

Reply from officer on duty at SARF (Supervised Anachron Residential Facility), 08:41:

He was out the door at 0800 sharp but apparently did not get on the bus, which was waiting outside. Will check cameras.

Follow-up from officer on duty at SARF, 08:52:

Front-door security camera footage is ambiguous. We see him exiting the door and going down the front walk toward the bus, but just as he is exiting the frame he appears to juke sideways.

Magnus has always been fascinated by the security cameras and so he probably knows where the coverage areas are. Evidence suggests he proceeded down the walk until he believed he was out of frame, then made his move.

From LTC Lyons, 08:56:

Alerting DOSECOPS and Dr. Blevins (acting head of C/COD). Anyone who sees him or learns anything, pipe up here so we can cancel the alert.

From MAJ Isobel Sloane (ranking DOSECOPS officer on duty), 09:12:

We’ve activated the protocols for AWOL Anachrons. These have been worked out in advance with local police departments and transit police—obviously we want to find the missing Anachron, but we have to treat it as a sensitive matter. We don’t want someone like Magnus ending up in the slammer with a random assortment of criminals.

Currently checking all bus and T routes in the vicinity of the SARF.

From LTC Lyons, 09:20:

Respectfully, MAJ Sloane, Magnus isn’t going to hop on a bus. He can walk faster than most people can run, and he can run faster than cars and buses are capable of moving in Boston traffic. He has been missing now for eighty minutes, and with his level of physical fitness could be anywhere in a ten-or twelve-mile radius of the SARF by this point.

From MAJ Sloane, 09:32:

Acknowledged and understood. Also putting out feelers to local PDs and social service agencies for reports of weird or threatening behavior.

From Dr. Roger Blevins, 10:05:

Just became aware of Magnus’s disappearance. May I suggest sending officers to check local gridirons, sports bars, any place connected with football. I took him to a game last month and he seemed quite interested.

From MAJ Sloane, 10:16:

That’s a useful lead, Dr. Blevins. Anything else in that vein?

From Dr. Blevins, 10:23:

I also took him to Walmart, which he quite enjoyed, but (a) he would have no way of locating a Walmart, and (b) even if he did, the closest one is many miles away.

From officer on duty at SARF, 10:56:

[Redacted], who frequently takes the night shift at the security desk here, told me the other day that Magnus had “borrowed” his iPhone and apparently used the map application. Magnus was also seen using a pen to draw on the palm of his hand.

From MAJ Sloane, 11:01:

Need to wake up [redacted] and have him check the search history on his phone. Sounds like Magnus drew a map.

From Dr. Blevins, 11:05:

Suit yourself, Major Sloane, but I believe you are grossly overestimating Magnus’s mental capacity. He cannot even speak English, much less type search terms into a navigational app.

From LTC Lyons, 12:00:

He’s been gone for four hours. Sitrep?

From MAJ Sloane, 12:01:

Just writing one up. Nothing yet. [Redacted]’s phone didn’t preserve any search history.

From MAJ Sloane, 13:27:

Bingo. We have a report from the Walmart Supercenter in Lexington that a man matching Magnus’s description has been using a computer in the electronics department for a couple of hours. It’s only ten miles—he could have Paul Revered it on foot. Sending all available DOSECOPS units.

From LTC Lyons, 13:30:

Please advise Walmart rent-a-cops not to engage Magnus. I can’t even . . .

From MAJ Sloane, 13:31:

Neither can I. Have already emphasized this to them.