As they headed out, Ben called after them, “Careful you don’t get spotted.”
Patrick and Chet were gone for a long time. The two oldest kids in our party. The two closest to death. I don’t know what they did, but I imagined Chet sitting up there staring at Ponderosa Pass in the distance, trying not to count the ticking seconds. Our air was crisp, the view clear, and I hoped every breath was a reminder of the good things his life had held.
They came back in for dinner, and all the kids went out of their way to be extra nice to Chet, offering him their dessert, making sure he had the most comfortable cot, the best pillows.
But even after night fell, he didn’t sleep.
If I had only a few hours to live, I wouldn’t be able to sleep either.
He sat on his cot, rocking, his arms wrapped around himself.
Everyone tried not to look at him, but he was the center of attention—even the air seemed to pull toward him there in the middle of the cots.
I lay in my own bed scribbling in my notebook, doing my best not to stare. But I couldn’t help shooting looks over at him now and then.
Morning passed in a crawl. Now kids kept their distance from Chet, who moved through the breakfast line sluggishly, his face heavy with dread. He sat at a table alone in the corner of the cafeteria, chewing his food, his eyes lowered.
I picked up my tray and went to join him. We didn’t speak. There was no point. Nothing could make him feel better. I just didn’t want him eating his last breakfast alone.
Back at the gym, Chet sat in the bleachers, his head hanging low.
The clock crept to ten, then eleven. Finally the minute hand inched its way up toward noon.
Ben stood, tugging the stun gun from his belt. “It’s time,” he said.
The Mendez twins burst out crying and ran to hide behind the bleachers.
“Where do you want it done?” Ben asked. “Want me to take you somewhere private?”
“No,” Chet said. “I don’t want to be alone. I want to be here with all of you. If that’s okay.”
“Of course it’s okay,” Patrick said. “You get whatever you want.”
Alex said, “You’re surrounded by friends here.”
Ben strode over and said, “I’ll wait for you to start to turn. Then I’ll do it. You won’t feel a thing.”
Chet nodded, his cheeks wobbling.
Ben raised the stun gun and pressed it to Chet’s forehead. “Ready, Chet?”
Chet closed his eyes.
ENTRY 23
It felt like there was no air in the gym. We watched stiffly, our bodies tensed, waiting for the clack of the stun gun firing through Chet’s skull into his brain.
Ben’s fist tightened around the handle.
Chet’s eyes flew open. “Wait!” he said, stepping back. “Wait. I don’t want to. I can’t. I don’t want to be dead.”
“Sorry, Chet.” Ben glanced at the clock. “You’re down to a few minutes. We have to do this.”
“Just … just let me go. Please. I’ll go out there.”
“You want to turn into one of them?” Alex asked.
“What if there’s a cure someday?”
“There are holes bored straight through their skulls,” Ben said, stepping forward again with the stun gun. “There ain’t gonna be no cure.”
Chet held up his hands defensively.
Patrick grabbed Ben from behind. “It’s his choice,” Patrick said.
Ben shoved him off, whirling around.
“If he wants to turn instead of die, it’s up to him.” Patrick looked across at Dr. Chatterjee. “Right?”
Chatterjee nodded.
Ben’s jaw shifted left, then right, redness creeping along the lines of his scar. “You got a minute and a half to get him off school grounds,” he said.
Patrick took Chet’s arm, and they bolted. Alex and I ran after them. We made it to the front and crouched behind a row of bushes as a Chaser flashed by in the street, sprinting after something. She vanished around the corner. For a moment the coast looked clear. We sprang out from cover, running for the gate. Patrick’s hands fumbled at the combination lock.
Moans escaped Chet’s mouth. “I’m scared,” he said. “I’m so scared.”
The chain fell away, and the gate creaked open. “I’m sorry,” Patrick said. “But you have to go.”
Chet took a shaky step forward, then another. He was moving too slowly, and Patrick had to give him a little push. The gate closed behind him. Patrick looped the lock through the chain.
“Wait.” Chet’s chest was heaving, each breath coming with a rasp. “Please can you just … just wait?”
Alex’s eyes were wet. “I’m sorry,” she said. “We have to go before you turn and see us here. We have to hide from who you’re gonna be.”
“I don’t want to be out here alone. I don’t want it to happen to me.”
I couldn’t make my legs move. Patrick grabbed me. “We have to go, Chance. We have to leave him.”
“Wait, please,” Chet said. “I’m just a kid. I’m a kid like you.”