“Smith. Please,” she murmured into my mouth, the break in her voice filling me with hot lust.
Vows were meant to be broken. Besides, no one could be expected to turn down an offer like this one. The woman I’d been fantasizing about for two weeks was rubbing all up on me, hot, wet, and ready for my cock.
And she’s your best friend’s sister.
The thought of Cullen—the lies I’d already told him, the lies I would continue to tell—had me freezing in place. It took Evie a second to realize I was no longer kissing her back and my questing hands had stilled, but when she did, she groaned.
“Nooo,” she muttered as she pulled away. “Smith, don’t think about him. I’m not a child anymore. I’m a grown woman, and I get to live my own life and make my own choices.” As if to prove it, she leaned in and plastered her magnificent tits against my chest.
I met her gaze and bit back my own groan of frustration. Her face was flushed with unquenched need, her hair mussed from my fingers, her lips plump and damp. I’d never wanted to fuck like I did right now. My blood sang with it. Every instinct was urging me to finish the job I’d started. To drive inside that sweet little cunt until she screamed my name and I exploded inside her.
But until I knew what this was between us? Until I knew I could offer Evie more than I’d ever managed to give a woman before? Until then, I had to resist, because sharing a dinner and a kiss with your best friend’s sister was bad. But knowingly taking her to bed without having any idea of what was going to happen after that? That was unforgivable.
In fact, if I were in Cullen’s shoes and Evie was Pam? I’d have cut Cullen’s balls off for even thinking about it.
My cock pulsed once and wept a single tear as I patted her ass lightly and slid her from my lap to stand.
“I’d love for you to stay a while longer. Have dessert. Watch a movie. But we can’t sleep together, Evie. Not now. Not yet. Once we cross that line, there’s no going back, and I need to make sure I’m worthy of the gift you want to give me.” And that the fallout will be something we can both live with.
I kept that last part to myself, though, because I didn’t want her blaming Cullen’s overprotectiveness for me backing away. The fact was, there was a part of me that needed time outside her circle of hotness to think straight. Not any part below the waist, of course, but somewhere in my cranium, I knew that Cullen was only part of the problem. My fucked-up childhood—moving from foster home to foster home before being adopted—had left a space inside me where trust used to live. Too many times, I’d let myself be lulled by a warm hug and a soft heart. I let hope in, and then just when I thought things would be all right, I’d been ripped away again. New family. New problems.
After a while, it had become more than clear that hope was the enemy. Expect the least, and you’ll never be disappointed. The Smith Hamilton human-relationships credo.
So it had been easy enough to keep a distance between myself and the women I slept with. If they opted out after a few weeks, it was fine because I’d never really opted in.
With Evie, that wasn’t an option.
I was either in or out, because I cared. A lot. A lot more than I ever expected to. And the last thing I wanted to do was hurt her.
“You’re a great guy, Smith. I’m not asking for a proposal, you know. I just want you to be my first real lover, is all,” she said softly.
The word “first” implied there would be more after me, and the thought sent a hot knife of jealousy straight through me. It was all I could do not to say fuck it and take her right there. Make her forget that any other man even existed.
That inclination alone was enough to sober me and get my mind right.
“I want to hang out with you, Evie. I want us to spend more time together, but until we’ve got some idea of what exactly this is, we have to keep it in the friend zone. Can we do that?” I asked, watching her face for clues as to whether I was asking for too much.
She nodded slowly and ran a trembling hand through her hair. “I think I’d like that. I—I had fun too. I definitely want to spend more time together. And no telling Cullen anything, agreed?”
“Agreed.”
She excused herself to the bathroom, and I was grateful for the reprieve as I cleaned up the dishes. It was going to be tough, but there was a sense of relief there too. At least I’d get to spend more time with Evie, and for now, that was enough.
? ? ?
Three hours later, though, as I watched her drive away, it was far from enough.
I was a man on a ledge again.