The thought of admitting my own loneliness—and the way Evie made me feel—scared the piss out of me. Luckily for me, she didn’t seem to notice, because she nodded in agreement.
“Casual. I’m in. And you’re right. I hadn’t thought of it that way, but we can’t tell him. Ever. My brother can be overprotective and traditional like that. One sort-of date and he’ll be asking when you’re going to make an honest woman out of me. We’ve got to work together every day, and that kind of pressure will ruin any chance we have of juggling it all effectively.”
“So, now I answered your question. We can’t tell Cullen. Maybe you can finally answer mine,” I said, tracing my thumb absently over her palm. “Why did you come in my room that night? Are you really so hung up on the virginity thing that you just wanted to get rid of it?”
“What?” she asked, suddenly blinking at me.
“I’m not doing this. I’m not going to be your first.”
“You’re not. I mean, you weren’t,” she said tentatively.
“Wait, what?” The knowledge there had been someone before me sent ice water through my veins. I wanted to kill the motherfucker, beat him within an inch of his life, and I didn’t even know who the guy was.
“It was stupid. A guy I went out with last year. And it was horrible, as first times go.”
A knot formed inside my gut. “Meaning what? You didn’t enjoy yourself?”
Evie shook her head. “Not even a little. I wanted a do-over.”
“A do-over?” That wasn’t a thing. She knew that, right?
She shrugged. “My friend Maggie seemed to think it made sense.”
There was no sense in explaining to Evie that you could only have your first time once. It was clear that she was set on her goal of having a satisfying sexual experience, and damn if I didn’t respect the hell out of her for it.
She hesitated, but I could see her pulse jumping in her neck. “And I don’t know. I thought it would be good . . . with you.”
The tension in the air ratcheted up to the point that her hand started trembling in mine, and my dick went stiff. I’d asked for it by posing the question, so I had no one to blame but myself.
“So you still want that? With me?”
She opened her mouth to speak and then closed it before tipping her head in the affirmative.
Blood rushed in my ears as I tried to get a grip. So, what Evie was saying was that, right now, if I wanted to sweep these plates off the table, hoist her up on it, and fuck her brains out, she’d be in.
And I, a lowly male, was supposed to keep it casual and hold to the idiotic vow I’d made only an hour before not to sleep with her?
Yeah, talk about a fucking idiot.
Sex would surely complicate things, and we had both just agreed to simple. Easy. Casual.
I leaned in and cupped her face. What could be more casual than a kiss? We’d stop after just one . . .
Chapter Thirteen
Lightning. That’s what it felt like, kissing Evie.
The shock of adrenaline coursed through my veins, every cell coming to life at once. Her lips were so soft, I fought the urge to clamp my teeth on that bottom one, hard.
She, on the other hand, wasn’t holding back. One second, we were both seated at the table, and the next, she’d slid from her chair half onto mine as she pressed herself tightly against me.
My hands made their way up to tangle in her silky hair, and she whimpered. The sound traveled straight to my cock, making it swell even more. I wondered briefly if the science of having literally all the blood in my body draining to my cock would kill me, but then she hitched one leg over my chair to straddle me, and I no longer gave a shit.
If I dropped dead right now, it would be with a smile on my lips.
I forced myself to release her hair, but only so I could free up my hands and push us back from the table. The maneuver opened up a whole new world of real estate, and I cupped Evie’s round ass in both hands. She gasped into my mouth, which only encouraged me to tighten my grip.
She pulled back a few inches. “Smith,” she murmured, running the tip of her finger over my mouth before crushing her lips to mine again.
Every muscle in my body was tense, primed, and ready to stand with her in my arms and carry her to my bedroom, but I still had one working brain cell, and it was bleating outraged commands.
Retreat!
Don’t go even one step further.
You made a vow.
But that vow seemed so far away, blurred by the havoc Evie Reed was wreaking in my lap. I sucked in a breath through my nose, trying to work up the discipline to pull back, when she swept her tongue along mine and simultaneously ground her pussy against my cock.
I gripped her ass tighter, working her over my shaft again until she started moving on her own, writhing against me, making desperate little whimpering sounds that tugged at the last of my self-control.
The friction we were creating sucked the air from me, and for a second, all I could hear was the pounding of my heartbeat.