‘I pray that I am not any form of retribution for his past misdemeanours,’ Kitty countered.
‘If you are, then all to the good,’ Drummond chuckled. Then, seeing her expression, he relented. ‘Kitty . . . my Kat, I am, as always, teasing you. Although it concerns me that I have never yet won any battle Andrew has cared to wage.’
‘Oh yes, you have.’ Kitty reached up and kissed him gently on the cheek. ‘You know how to be happy. And because of that, so do I.’
‘I’m likely to become extremely unhappy if we do not talk about our future, my love.’ Drummond cupped her face in the palms of his hands. ‘When I leave for Adelaide, do you wish it to be forever?’
‘Oh Drummond.’ She shook her head despairingly. ‘I do not know.’
‘I am sure you don’t. Good God, what a mess we find ourselves in. Perhaps it might help for me to tell you what I have been thinking.’
‘Please do.’
‘It’s very simple: I can’t bear the thought of leaving you. I may cry like a girl in front of you if you insist on staying with my brother.’ Drummond gave her a weak smile.
‘So what do you suggest?’
‘That, together with Charlie, we elope.’
‘Where to?’
‘The moon would be preferable, but given that’s even further than my cattle station and we’d have to grow wings to get there, Kilgarra is probably the best option.’
‘You want me to come with you?’
‘Yes, although I warn you, Kat, life out there is harsh and brutal. It makes Broome seem like the very epicentre of civilised society. The Ghan camel train passes but twice a year with supplies and the nearest settlement, Alice Springs, is a two-day ride away. There is no doctor or hospital, and only the outside dunny for necessities. There is one benefit, mind you.’
‘What’s that?’
‘The nearest neighbour’s a day’s ride away, so there’ll be no more interminable dinner parties to face.’
Kitty managed a smile, knowing Drummond was doing his best to lighten the atmosphere.
‘What about Andrew? How can we do this to him? It would devastate him. Losing his wife, let alone his beloved son . . .’ She shook her head. ‘He doesn’t deserve it.’
‘No, he doesn’t, and yes, it will hurt him deeply, particularly given that Andrew has never lost anything in his life. He was always the blighter at school that scored the final try to save the day.’
‘I am hardly a rugby ball and neither is Charlie.’ She eyed him. ‘Are you absolutely certain that this isn’t about you winning?’
‘Under the circumstances, absolutely not. I swear to you, Kat, despite my jesting, I love him. He’s my twin and I’d walk a thousand miles not to hurt him, but this is life and death and it can’t be helped.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I physically can’t live without you. It’s unfortunate, but there we have it. So, that’s where I stand. And now, my Kitty-Kat, to use the rugby analogy, the ball is firmly in your hands. It’s up to you to decide.’
*
Once again, Kitty found herself in an agony of indecision, because it was not just her future she had to consider. If she left with Drummond, she knew that she would be denying Charlie the right to grow up with his father. Even more troubling was the thought that Andrew may try to fight her to claim Charlie back. At least there was no doubt that he adored his Uncle Drum and would have a loving uncle and father figure there to steer him as he grew. God only knew what she would tell Charlie when he was older; Kitty was well aware of the shock of discovering the bleak truth about a parent one had idolised.
Back and forth she went, even visiting the local church and kneeling to ask for guidance.
‘Please, Lord, I have always been taught that God is love. And I love Drummond with every inch of my soul, but I love Charlie too . . .’
As she knelt, once more she saw her father clasping Annie’s hands on the doorstep. And her poor innocent mother, also pregnant and unaware of her husband’s duplicity.
‘I am not a hypocrite and I cannot be a liar,’ she whispered to a mournful painting of angels flying the dead up to heaven. Though even now, she thought as she stood up, I am no better than my father, lying in my husband’s brother’s bed night after night . . .
‘Lord, I may have had an epiphany,’ she sighed, ‘but I seem to have broken most of Your commandments since I did.’
Outside in the sunshine, Kitty went to study the graves of the departed.
‘Did you ever love like me before you left the earth?’ she whispered to Isobel Dowd’s remains. The poor thing had died at the age of twenty-three – the same age she was now.
Kitty closed her eyes, a deep sigh emanating from inside her. ‘It has gone too far already and I will not deceive my husband for the rest of our lives. Therefore’ – she swallowed hard – ‘the Lord help me, but I must take the consequences.’
*
‘I have decided we will come with you to Kilgarra when you return from your meeting in Adelaide,’ Kitty said calmly as she sat with Drummond over dinner that evening.
He stared at her in surprise. ‘Good grief, woman! We were just discussing whether we should take Charlie to the beach for a last swim and you drop that into the conversation!’
‘I thought you should know,’ she said, at least enjoying the stunned expression on Drummond’s face.
‘Yes, you’re right, I should.’ He cleared his throat. ‘Well then. We’d better make a plan.’
‘I have also decided I shall tell Andrew myself when he returns home. I will not behave like a coward, Drummond. Camira will take Charlie out beforehand and I shall have a trunk packed and ready. I will leave immediately, collect Charlie from Camira and we will travel to meet you, wherever that may be.’
‘It seems you already have it all worked out.’
‘I have a practical nature and I have found that in difficult situations, it helps to be organised.’ Kitty did not wish him to see the gamut of emotions that were swirling beneath her calm exterior.
‘Am I allowed to express my complete and utter joy at your decision?’ he asked her.
‘You are, but I also wish to know where we should meet after I have . . . done the deed.’
‘Well now.’ Drummond snaked a hand to her across the table. ‘Kitty, are you sure you don’t wish for me to be there with you when you tell Andrew?’
‘Completely. I fear he may shoot you on the spot.’
‘He may well shoot you too.’
‘And it would be no less than I deserve.’ Kitty swallowed hard. ‘But I doubt it. Shooting his wife would certainly damage his reputation in Broome society.’
They both allowed themselves a hollow smile.
‘Are you sure about this, my Kat?’
‘I have no choice because Andrew deserves far better than an unfaithful wife who can never love him.’
‘If it’s any comfort, I am sure it won’t be long before the pearling mothers of Broome have their dutiful daughters lined up along the path to his front door. Now, enough of that. I suggest that I still travel on to Darwin by ship, as I’ve already told both my father and Andrew I plan to do. Then you and Charlie make your escape on the next boat out to Darwin and meet me there.’