‘CeCe, tell me you didn’t—’
‘Yes. I found Linda, and we had a chat, and she loves you so much,’ I blurted out and leant across the table towards him. ‘She told me the truth about your dad, and he’s got to help you, and . . . did he know what you were doing? ’Cos if he did, then—’
‘Stop! You don’t know what you’re talking about,’ he hissed, his eyes slits of anger. ‘It’s all much more complicated than you can imagine.’
‘I know. Linda told me, but David is your dad, and that’s not complicated at all. And he should be there for you, as your dad and your ex-boss, because I think he did know, and you’re protecting him, and it’s just not fair!’
Ace regarded me for a moment, then silently handed me a tissue from the box on the table between us. I hadn’t even realised I was crying, but I supposed the guards were used to that in the visitors’ centre.
‘CeCe,’ Ace said more gently. ‘I’ve had lots of time to think since I’ve been here, and when I was in Thailand with you. I knew that I would have to face up to what I’d done eventually, and that’s what I’m doing now. Whether or not my dad knew – or even whether he is my dad – is irrelevant. It was me that pressed those keys on the computer to make the illegal trades. I’ve also realised that my fa—that David never loved me, or cared about me. Though to be fair, he doesn’t care much for anything except money.’
‘Agreed,’ I said vehemently.
‘So, he – and what I did – have made me realise exactly who I was becoming and don’t want to be. In a way, this whole experience has saved me. The counsellor has told me I can do a degree while I’m banged up. I think I’m going to take philosophy and theology. I’m only twenty-eight – I have plenty of time to make a different life once I get out of jail.’
‘Well, that’s a positive attitude,’ I said, beginning to understand where he was coming from and admiring him big time for it.
‘And by the way, I know you didn’t sell me out, CeCe. I checked up and that photo of us is copyrighted to a “Jay”. You were right, and I apologise for thinking it was you. I have a lot of happy memories of us on Phra Nang Beach and I want to keep them like that.’
‘Me too,’ I gulped. ‘Listen, I’m moving to Australia, like, tomorrow. When you get out of prison, please come and visit me. Maybe that’s where you could start your new life. It’s the land of opportunity, remember?’
‘Who knows? We’ll keep in touch for sure. By the way, did you find out more about Kitty Mercer?’
‘Better.’ I grinned. ‘I found my family.’
‘Then I’m happy for you, CeCe.’ For the first time, his face lit up in a full-blown smile. ‘You deserve it.’
‘Listen, I have to leave now, but I’ll send you my new address once I’m settled there.’
‘Promise?’ He grasped my hand as I stood up.
‘Promise. Oh, and by the way,’ I whispered, ‘don’t worry about your dad. I’ve got a feeling he’s going to get everything he deserves.’
*
I spent the afternoon packing the rest of my stuff into bin bags, which Star had said she would store at High Weald. Then I went out to buy all the bits I knew I couldn’t get in Alice Springs, like Heinz baked beans and a gigantic bar of Cadbury’s Fruit and Nut chocolate. Star, her mum and Mouse were due to come to the apartment at six o’clock for my leaving drinks, before heading off to the East End. I splashed out on three bottles of champagne and some beer to send them – and me – on our respective ways.
When I arrived home, loaded down with all my shopping bags, I saw that Ma had taken Star’s place and was wearing her white apron, neatly tied around her waist. She greeted me at the door with a look of despair.
‘Mon dieu! Is there a local patisserie nearby? The canapes I tried to make have gone wrong. See?’
She pointed to some weird – and actually quite arty – green pastry things that looked like someone had stamped on them.
‘It’s okay, Ma. I’ve got some tortilla chips and dip from the shop.’
‘Oh CeCe, I’m so embarrassed! You have found me out.’ She sat down at the kitchen table and buried her face in her hands.
‘Have I?’
‘Mais oui! I am French, yet anything I cook is a disaster! The truth is that I have hidden behind Claudia for all these years. If it had been left to me to feed you girls, you would have been starved – or poisoned – to death!’
‘Honestly, Ma, it doesn’t matter. We love you anyway, even if you are a rubbish cook.’ I stifled a laugh at her distraught expression. ‘We all have strengths and weaknesses, remember? That’s what you’ve always told us, anyway,’ I added as I dumped the tortilla chips into a bowl and put the champagne and beers into the fridge.
‘It is, chérie, and you are right, I must accept my own.’
‘Yeah.’ I saw she needed a hug, so I went over to offer one.
‘Oh CeCe, I think that just now, out of all of my girls, I am proudest of you,’ she said as she stroked my hair.
‘Why?’
‘Because you know how to be yourself. Now, I will go upstairs and get ready for the party.’
*
They all arrived just after six and I saw that Star’s mum, Sylvia, was literally an older version of Star in more expensive clothes. She was really sweet, and told me she’d heard lots of good things about me, before giving me a hug.
‘Thank you for looking after her when I couldn’t,’ she whispered in my ear.
I immediately warmed to her, and was glad that Star had someone else who loved her as fiercely as I did.
Mouse was his usual gruff self, and I decided that if I was casting Mr Darcy in that Jane Austen novel Star went on about all the time, I’d definitely pick him. I had to admit he was handsome, if you were into that sort of thing, but a bit stand-offish, like most English aristocrats I’d met. Then I remembered that technically I was descended from a Scottish aristocrat too, and felt a bit more on the same level.
I watched as Sylvia approached Ma, and wondered how Ma felt about it. Then I closed my eyes and visualised a human heart beating. I watched it expand as it encompassed all the new people that I loved. And I understood that the heart had an infinite capacity to extend itself. And the fuller it was, the more healthily and happily it beat inside you. Best of all, my fingers itched, and I knew immediately what the inspiration for my next painting would be.
I came to as Ma pressed a glass of champagne into my hand. I noticed that everyone had quietened and was standing around me, watching me expectantly.
‘Erm . . .’ I said stupidly, still dazed.