The Outliers (The Outskirts Duet #2)

“It’s just an expression. A pretty stupid one now that I think about it.”

I growled, hating that I was still so naive about the world. I thought I was doing well for someone who didn’t grow up in mainstream USA immersed in pop culture.

I was wrong.

I was embarrassed above all else.

Of course, you could get pregnant even if you weren’t married. Marriage wasn’t some magic fertility ritual.

“Oh,” I sat up. “I might be pregnant.”

I might be pregnant.

“It just now occurred to you?” Josh asked, slapping me on the arm with a folded-up napkin.

“Apparently, I’m slow at catching on,” I said.

There could be a baby inside of me. OUR baby. A life that depends on me. A spark of what I could only describe as unconditional love planted deep inside of me and with each passing second it grew until I was practically humming with love for this baby I hadn’t even known if I was really carrying yet.

“It takes two to tango, Sawyer. Finn was there too.”

Yes, he was.

Uh oh. Finn. What was Finn going to think when I told him that because of my stupidity I could be pregnant with his baby?

An odd sort of thrill jolted through me and I found myself fighting a smile. He’d said he wanted kids someday. With me. I took a deep calming breath. Which was perfect timing because the back door opened and Finn sauntered in, draping his sweat drenched shirt across the back of his neck and shoulders.

The second he saw me he knew something was going on. I must have had panic written all over my face.

“Shit. What the hell happened?” Finn asked. “What’s wrong, Say?” He crossed the bar and crouched down where Josh had just been. She stood up to make room for him, leaning up against the bar.

I covered my face with my hands but he gently pulled them away and tipped my face up so our eyes met. I shook my head. Embarrassed that even if I could find the words that I still wouldn’t be able to relay them properly. “I can’t. I just can’t.”

“What happened?” Finn repeated his question, this time to Josh and in a much harsher tone.

Josh didn’t crack joke or even smile. She remained serious, yet calm. Her voice softening to a tone I’d never heard her use before. I could tell she was trying very hard not to make me feel worse than I already did. “Sawyer hasn’t been feeling well.”

“Still?” Finn asked. “Stomach flu? Cold? I’ll run to the general store. What can I get you? Or better yet, we’ll just take you to the Doctor down the street. He does walk-in’s. Come one let’s go.” He stood and pulled me up with him as he looked me over for obvious signs of sickness.

I looked to Josh for help. Pleading with my eyes to not make me be the one to tell him. I was being a coward but I’d been so strong in other areas. I could bomb at bravery at this one little thing.

“Wait,” she said, tugging on Finn’s shirt. “Take a seat.”

Finn reluctantly sat and I did the same. “Is someone going to tell me what’s going on?”

“Sawyer, doesn’t quite remember when the last time aunt flow came to town, but she doesn’t think it was this month,” she said. “Or since she’s been in Outskirts.”

I winced.

Finn’s entire demeanor became stone.

I cringed and waited for him to pull his hands from mine, but he didn’t. “Why didn’t you say something?” He asked gently, giving my hands a squeeze.

I felt my face reddening. “I didn’t know. I didn’t think it was possible. I feel so stupid.”

“Why?” Finn stroked my hair. When I went to put my head down again he wouldn’t let me. “Look at me, Say.” Finn was smiling, laughing at my wanting to hide my face from him. “Why do you feel stupid? Come on. Look at me.”

I slowly looked up. Our eyes met. “I just thought I wasn’t feeling good.” I pressed my lips together and paused. “And I didn’t think it was a possibility because...I thought…” I spit the last words out like rapid fire. The fastest sentence I’d ever spoken in my life. “I thought you had to be married to get pregnant.” Even I had to laugh this time. “See? I’m stupid. And therefore, I find myself to be very embarrassed right now.”

“Hey,” Finn said, his voice taking on an angry tone. “You’re not stupid and I don’t want to hear you ever say that about yourself again.” His nostrils flared. He pulled me from my chair onto his lap.

“Josh, can you do us a favor? Can you go to the general store and…”?

“Already on it,” Josh called from the front door where her purse was already slung around her shoulder. “Be right back,” she called and then she was gone.

“I don’t really know what to say,” I confessed. “But it would explain why these shorts don’t fit anymore.” I looked down to my unhooked button.

Finn smiled. “We’ll get you some new ones.” His smile dropped as he snaked his hand up my thigh. He made his way to my stomach where he pushed the material of my t-shirt up and placed a hand on my belly. “I hope you’re in there,” he whispered.

My heart fluttered in my chest like it grew wings and was trying to escape. That’s when I realized. I hoped there was someone in there too. A little person that Finn and I created together.

“I am sorry though that I was so naive. I should have known more than I did.”

Finn growled. “No. You don’t get to be sorry. This was entirely my fault because I DO know better. I do know how all this works. I could have used a condom. Told you about pills. But I didn’t.”

“Why? Did you forget?” I asked.

Finn shook his head. “No, I didn’t forget, Say. I’ve never forgotten since the day I lost my virginity at sixteen. Not one single time.”

“I don’t understand.”

“We belong together, Say. The idea of you pregnant with my kid is...everything. If I’d have known you weren’t aware of what could happen, I would have talked to you about it. That’s on me. But I still don’t regret it. Not one bit.”

“So, what you’re saying, is that this is all your fault?” I asked, looking up into his handsome face. I reached out and cupped his face in my hand, his stubble scratching the inside of my palm.

Finn laughed and held me tighter. “No. This is nobody’s fault. I don’t want either of us to think of it that way. If we’re having a baby it’s something to celebrate. This is fate. This is us.”

I exhaled and relaxed against Finn who kissed my forehead. “I love you,” I said.

Finn murmured against my hair and his words shot straight through to my very core. “Fiercely. Possessively. Crazily. Always.”

Josh came back in record time with a bag of several different brands of pregnancy tests before getting a call about a stranded vehicle and having to leave.

Finn stayed in the bar while I was in the bathroom, carefully following the instructions on the back of each box.

When I came out of the bathroom Finn set the timer on the stove for three minutes. He pulled me against him and whispered reassurances against my forehead as we waited. When the timer dinged he looked down at me. “Do you want me to check?”

I nodded. He was in the bathroom for longer than it would take to glance down and count the lines.