Finn still wanted to skip town. I still wanted to stay and be close to my family, and I still had to make sure someone was with me at all times as a safety measure.
At least Critter was home now. And with him and my mother getting better every day (she hadn’t slipped back to thinking it was two decades ago at all since the hospital) I felt relieved. But there was something else nagging me. Something I couldn't quite put my finger on.
After all the events of the last few months, I felt utterly run down.
I pulled out a chair from one of the tables and sat down, propping my feet up on another. Since Critter was out spending time with my mother, Josh had volunteered to put in some hours after her police shift. As did Finn who was in the back cleaning dishes and Miller, who was out back taking a delivery.
Speaking of which, the delivery man who’d delivered the whiskey they believed poisoned Critter disappeared with his family and hadn’t been seen since that morning.
Coward.
“Why does it take four of us to do the job of one man?” I asked Josh who was refilling napkin dispensers.
"I knew that man was a machine but damn. He really does do it all.”
I tried to laugh but I was too tired to conjure up the energy.
“You don’t seem like yourself lately. Is it your mother? Critter?” Josh asked. Her gold bangled bracelets clanked as she reached over and set her hand on top of mine. Her smile was genuine but sad. Lines of concern were etched all over her usually smooth and perfect face.
I shook my head just as another wave of nausea washed over me. Churning my stomach, threatening to force out everything I’d eaten that morning. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths until, thankfully, the threat subsided.
I waited a few beats to make sure the feeling was completely gone before I spoke. “No, it’s not my mother or Critter. I just haven’t been feeling great. I think I ate something bad.”
"Again? There’s no way someone eats something bad that often." Josh rounded the table and pulled up a chair next to mine. “Like HOW have you not been feeling great?” She asked, scooting her chair closer until her knees were against my thigh.
“It's nothing,” I said, waving her off. “I’m just a little lightheaded.” Just thinking about throwing up made me woozy. “but I haven’t thrown up,” I added, like that would make all the difference in my diagnosis.
“That’s not specific enough, Say.” Josh leaned back and placed her feet on the same chair as mine. “What else have you been feeling?” she asked with a casual shrug, looking down at her nails. “Don’t leave anything out.”
I took a moment to think. “Uh…there are some other things,” I said quietly.
“What kind of other things?” Josh asked ten times as loud as if her yelling would make me speak up.
I looked around to make sure Miller and Finn weren’t around. “Things…things I don’t feel comfortable talking about.”
Josh nodded like she understood and pulled her feet from the chair, leaning in closer. “What if I list some common symptoms of some things and you just nod or shake your head?” she asked. “Would that be easier?”
“I can do that,” I said, feeling a lot more comfortable with her idea.
“Are you…sore anywhere?” She asked, refilling the napkin dispenser at the table we were sitting at.
I nodded.
“Okay. Do any of those areas include your tender lady areas? You know, breasts? Vagina? Both?”
I nodded again.
“Do you feel more tired than usual?” She asked. “Never mind. I can answer that one. It’s a yes. Those bags under your eyes weren’t built in a day.”
She was right. “I’m too tired to feel insulted.”
“Do you find yourself more sensitive to smells lately?”
“Not that I’m aware of.” I said, adding, “although you sprayed enough of that disinfectant on this table to use it in a hospital.”
“Okay, how about this one, have you had your period in the last month?” Josh asked.
I thought about her question but couldn’t give a definitive answer. “I’m not sure. I’ve never really kept track. Although, it hasn’t been recently, so it’s possible I haven’t had it in a while.”
“Like what’s a while?”
“Well, I’ve been here for over three months. I don’t remember getting it since I’ve been here.” I said.
Josh looked at me, turning her head and nodding like she was waiting for me to come to a conclusion I wasn’t coming to. “And? What do you think?” I asked. “Flu?”
Josh leaned forward and placed a hand on each of my knees. “Sawyer, do you think there is any possibility that you could be pregnant?”
I almost laughed as I shook my head. “No. It’s not possible.”
“What do you mean it’s not possible? Don’t even try and lie and say that you and Finn aren’t bumping uglies.” Josh crossed her arms over her chest.
“If bumping uglies means what I think it means, then yes. We are. But I can’t get pregnant.”
“And why is that?” Josh asked.
“Because Finn and I aren’t married.” As soon as the words left my mouth I realized how stupid that sounded. I was reciting something I’d been taught at an early age. Something I never even considered to challenge. Except, if I’d have spent any time thinking about it at all I would have come to the conclusion I’d just came to in about twenty seconds. Not only wasn’t that true. It was downright ridiculous. “I know, I know,” I groaned. “I just realized how stupid that sounded too.”
Josh looked like she was contemplating her words as she bit the inside of her cheek. She spoke slowly. Cautiously. “Sawyer, I don’t know what you were taught, but it is possible for a man to get a woman pregnant without them being married. If you don’t believe me just ask my cousin Corinne. She’s got a baby daddy in every county from here to Miami.”
A pit in my stomach began to grow. I placed my hands over where I’d unbuttoned the top button of my shorts that very morning getting ready for work. I remember blaming their snugness on shrinkage from the wrong dryer setting.
“Have you ever seen an episode of Teen Mom?”
“Uh. No.”
“Let me ask you this. Do you and Finn use anything while you get down to business?” Josh asked.
Use anything? Like what?
I blew out a long-frustrated breath. I felt my skin tingling. A warning of impending feeling overload. “I don’t know. Are there other things to use besides your…you know? Your parts?”
Josh knelt in front of me and pressed her lips together to keep from laughing. She tapped my leg with each option she listed. “I meant like birth control. Condoms? Pills? Pulling out?”
“Not that I’m aware of,” I answered.
Josh sighed. “Baby girl, this is my fault. I knew you and Finn were getting closer. I should have had the birds and bees talk with you.”
“You use bees?” I asked, my eyes widening. “How?”
“You have got to be kidding me!” Josh exclaimed.
“Okay, that one was a joke,” I admitted. “But I still don’t know what you mean.” I was trying to play it off. Trying to make a joke of it all, but the reality was that I’d never been so embarrassed in my life.
The Outliers (The Outskirts Duet #2)
T.M. Frazier's books
- Dark Needs
- King
- Tyrant
- TYRANT (KING BOOK TWO)
- Lawless (King #3)
- The Dark Light of Day (The Dark Light of Day, #1)
- Preppy: The Life & Death of Samuel Clearwater, Part Two (King, #6)
- Preppy: The Life & Death of Samuel Clearwater, Part Three (King, #7)
- Preppy: The Life & Death of Samuel Clearwater, Part One (King, #5)
- The Outskirts (The Outskirts Duet #1)