He squinted in the midmorning sun and swore under his breath for leaving his Sox hat on the passenger seat of the truck.
“I don’t follow.” He was, however, following the time ticking away as he waited for Mickey to install a new battery and starter in the truck. Every minute he was stuck in Holbrook put another mile between him and Brynn.
“What if that kiss,” Annie went on, “was Brynn’s realization that Spencer never was the guy, that it was you and she just didn’t know it yet?”
He shook his head. “I was in the right place at the right time. You didn’t see her that night. She was ready to go to that party even though she was burning up with a fever and couldn’t swallow her own saliva without crying.”
Annie laughed, and Jamie’s jaw clenched. He was thrilled she was enjoying this.
“But she didn’t go. And maybe she wasn’t supposed to.” Great. Now Annie believed in signs? “You can’t be that blind,” she continued. “Can you? It’s not like you even initiated the kiss. She did. Plus, weren’t you the one who called things off before they were ever on?”
“I didn’t know how else not to mess things up between us.”
The logic sounded warped when he said it out loud, but it made sense to him then. He’d wanted Brynn. He wasn’t denying that. But he needed her to be more for him that summer than he could have been for her. He needed his friend and to know he’d never lose her.
“Honey, you guys messed things up the second you sucked the ChapStick off her lips,” she said. “But God, Jamie. It all makes sense, now. How often do you think Brynn came to me upset about missing that party? Do you want to know how much she pined for Spencer Matthews after that night? And don’t bother answering, because it’s a rhetorical question, and I’m going to tell you whether you want the answer or not.”
Jamie was leaning pretty far toward not, but he kept his mouth shut since Annie was obviously on a roll. He squeezed his eyes closed to shield himself against the blow. He held his breath. If he wasn’t holding the phone in his hand, he would have plugged his ears and yelled Lalalalalala like a child throwing a tantrum, because the one thing he’d never asked Brynn after that night was the one thing he knew he couldn’t bear to hear.
“Not one bit,” she said.
Jamie opened his eyes, but he still held his breath until the word left his mouth.
“What?”
“Not one time that whole summer did Brynn mention not kissing Spencer. Not one time did she mention that boy. At all.”
Mickey poked his head out of the shop, Jamie’s keys in his hand. It was ten thirty, and the car was ready to go. Jamie held up a finger, letting the man know he’d be right there.
“I don’t know what you’re trying to tell me, Annie.”
She groaned. “It was you, you idiot.” Again with the idiot? “It had to be you. A whole year she goes on and on about finally getting Spencer to notice her, and then poof! She misses her big night and never mentions him again? She doesn’t tell me about this epic kiss you guys must have had, one that seemed to have wiped Spencer Matthews off the map. Instead she spends her summer with the same guy she always hangs with—you. Even after you kissed her and rejected her. And now you’re doing it again. A girl can only take so much before she says ‘fuck it’ to the hand she’s dealt and travels across the country for a new deck.”
Jamie’s head was spinning.
“Rejected her? What the hell? I was in love with her. I’ve always been in love with her. I thought she liked…all she talked about was…a whole year, Annie. For a whole year she never saw me like I saw her. And then…I couldn’t risk it. I couldn’t be her second choice. Just like now. Fuck.” He finally understood exactly what he was doing. “I’m not giving her a choice, am I? I’m making her choose him.”
He was inside the shop now, handing Mickey his credit card and not even looking at the invoice. Whatever it cost, he was paying the sum and getting the hell out of Holbrook. Knitting lady was still there, eyeing him over her needles. He didn’t care. He just needed to leave.
“If it helps, I think she’s an idiot, too,” Annie said. “And then this reunion thing—you both spent a decade convincing yourselves you were better off as friends, and part of that must have been Brynn convincing herself that maybe she was supposed to kiss Spencer that night. If it was wrong to kiss you, then it must have been right to kiss him. But enough is enough. The two of you are finally driving me to insanity. I’m done. Ten years is my statute of limitations on aiding and abetting both of your scared stupidity.”