Rupert cleared his throat and continued. “I acknowledge the part I played in making you feel you must continue the ruse or lose your position. But I am gravely disappointed that once we became better acquainted you continued to doubt I would understand.”
For the first time that evening he thought he glimpsed the faint shimmer of tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry, sir.”
“I believe you are.” He resisted the intense urge to stride toward her and offer her the comfort of his embrace. She would assume he was no better than those other men who had tried to take advantage of her innocence and prey upon her beauty. Recalling how he had ignored his growing fondness for plain Miss Ellerby only to indulge his instant fancy for the masked lady, Rupert could not be altogether certain he was any better. “And I hope you will try to make it up to my family by staying on at Nethercross as my daughters’ governess.”
He held his breath as he waited for her answer. For his daughters’ sake he knew he could not dismiss her. But for himself he could not decide if he was more alarmed at the prospect of Grace leaving... or staying?
Chapter Fifteen
“STAY?” GRACE COULD not believe her ears. After all she had told him, she’d been certain his lordship would pack her off to Reading without delay.
He nodded. “Please. It is clear my girls care a great deal about you and you about them. I promise you will never have anything to fear under my roof like you suffered in your past positions. In turn I hope that from now on you will always be truthful with me.”
“I will, sir, most gladly.” Grace did not need any such inducements from him. She had learned how treacherous the slippery slope of secrecy could be. “Thank you, sir. This is greater forbearance than I deserve.”
Grateful and relieved as she was, Grace could not stifle the feeling that she had escaped the just punishment due her. “If you will excuse me, then, sir, I should return to the nursery in case any of the girls are still awake.”
He replied with a wordless nod.
Grace was halfway through the door when curiosity got the better of her. “Please, sir, if the children ask, what should I tell them about you and Mrs. Cadmore?”
Was she already straining the promise she’d just made to his lordship about being truthful? It was quite as much for her own sake that she needed to know as for her pupils. “I ask, sir, because I fear the lady might not approve of me once she sees my true appearance. I would not want my presence in the house to place a strain on your marriage.”
Lord Steadwell turned to gaze out the window.
“Now that I perceive the depth of my daughters’ opposition to that match, I believe I must abandon any thought of it.” His words trailed off in a sigh.
Had she been wrong about his feelings for Mrs. Cadmore? Did they run deeper than she’d wanted to believe? Or had his lordship acknowledged the likelihood that his daughters would never accept any other woman in their mother’s place?
If that were true, it would be a great pity for him, Grace reflected as she closed the study door softly behind her and returned to the nursery. Now that he was beginning to cast off the cruel bonds of grief, must he remain alone until his daughters were all married before he dared take a wife? How many more years must he endure the loneliness of which he had spoken at the masquerade?
The masquerade—Grace thought back upon the evening as if it had taken place weeks ago rather than just yesterday. Recalling the things Rupert had confided in her and the tender touch of his hand, she had been so certain he felt something for her. But once he discovered the identity of the lady behind the mask, there had been no mention of anything that passed between them. Instead, he’d been vexed with her for deceiving him and pretending to be the sort of lady he might have cared for as an equal.
For the sake of his children he was willing to let her keep her position. But his promise that she would not be exposed to any romantic attentions while under his roof made it clear he would not permit himself to have feelings for someone in her position.
Viscount Benedict had been willing to accept an impoverished bride of noble birth. But Lord Steadwell clearly shared Captain Townsend’s belief that a gentleman should not take a wife so far beneath him.
When Grace slipped back into the nursery, Charlotte stirred and called out in a whisper, “What did Papa say, Miss Ella? Are you to be dismissed? We won’t let him do it, you know. We’ll go and tell him the masquerade was our idea and you did not want to go.”
“Shh.” Grace made her way to the child’s bed and perched on the edge of it. “We don’t want to wake your sisters. I appreciate your willingness to intercede for me with your father, but it will not be necessary. After listening to my explanation, he was kind enough to say I may remain at Nethercross.”
Charlotte shot upright and flung her arms around Grace’s neck. “That’s wonderful, Miss Ella! The girls will be so happy! Now we can all continue on as we have been.”
“Unless...” She pulled back from her eager embrace. “What about Mrs. Cadmore? Does Papa still plan to marry her?”
Torn between relief and guilt, Grace shook her head. “He understands now that you cannot abide having a stepmother. So he has given up the idea of remarrying for the present.”
Charlotte renewed her embrace tighter than ever. “It’s all turned out well then. Happily ever after as Sophie would say!”
A fortnight after his interview with Grace Ellerby, Rupert could still recall with perfect clarity her look of rapturous relief when he’d begged her to remain at Nethercross and promised he would not trouble her with his unwelcome attentions. Clearly their encounter at the masquerade had meant something quite different to her than it had to him. Had she only permitted him to draw close to her so he would realize he could not settle for a loveless marriage?
Recalling his former marriage plans reminded Rupert that he owed Mrs. Cadmore an explanation and an apology. Not wanting to put it off any longer, he called for his horse to be saddled and rode at once to Dungrove.
The lady received him with frosty civility. “Lord Steadwell, to what do I owe this unexpected honor? I am surprised you can tear yourself away from home these days—the nursery, in particular.”
Rupert refused to inquire what she meant by that remark. “I know I should have come to speak to you sooner. I must beg your pardon for that and for a great deal more. I have imposed upon you of late in a most shameful fashion.”
“Indeed you have, sir.” She fluttered her fan to stir the sultry August air, though her manner betrayed not the slightest degree of warmth. “I confess I am at a loss to know why. I thought you and I had an understanding that an alliance between our families would be of mutual benefit.”
“I used to think so too.” Rupert toyed self-consciously with the brim of his hat. “I assure you it was never my intention to lead you on. I planned to make you an offer of marriage, but when the time came I found I could not.”