“You do, Wulf. You see me.”
He kept his hand in her hair, anchoring her forehead to his so she couldn't look anywhere but him. He kept a hand on her hip, urging her faster while his own hips pumped harder. She moaned and cried out, clutching at his shoulders. Something big was happening inside of her, and she was pretty sure it had nothing to do with the orgasm that was about to happen.
If I wasn't broken before, this will shatter me.
The orgasm unfurled slowly, setting her body on fire. It started in her core and spiraled outward, causing her to lose her breath and shake uncontrollably. She let go of him and lost her balance, almost falling over. He held still and wrapped his arms around her, crushing her to him and kissing her hard.
While she was still trembling and shattering and losing herself in him, he slowly rolled them forward. She laid back and stretched out her arms, arching her back when he started driving into her fast and hard.
His hands and tongue were everywhere, making it hard to tell where she ended and he began. He was murmuring and whispering to her, things she didn't want to hear. Not when she was so upset. Then his arms were back around her, so tight she had trouble breathing, but she didn't say anything. Just wrapped her arms around him and held on for dear life while he came and came and came and came …
“No one,” he was panting when she finally floated back into her body. “No one will ever be like you, Katya Tocci.”
She wanted to respond, but she couldn't. She was crying too hard.
27
“I want to stay here.”
“Then I'll stay, too.”
“No, Wulfric.”
“Why not?”
“Your life is in San Francisco.”
“So? We'll go home eventually.”
“I don't know if I'll ever go home.”
“I don't care. I'll stay.”
“I want you to go.”
“I don't care.”
“Yes, you do.”
“... I don't want to leave you.”
“I know. And I'm sorry, but you have to. I have to be here for my parents. I quit the bakery. I wasted enough time playing games in San Francisco – my time and yours. I won't do that anymore.”
“The best time I ever had was when I was wasting time with you.”
“Where was this silver tongue weeks ago?”
“Tocci.”
“Stone.”
“I don't understand.”
“You're amazing. Perfection in human form. But … I don't trust you. No more games, no more confusion. I will never be able to thank you for all you've done for me, but it still doesn't change what happened in the past. I forgive you, I really do. But after everything that's happened … I don't want to keep doing this. Fighting and having sex and then wondering when the next bad thing will happen. Maybe I'm just not ready for a relationship. I have a lot of growing up to do. I'm sorry.”
“So do I, apparently.”
“Yes, and it feels like trying to do that together, it's just making us into worse people.”
“I don't agree.”
“And that's okay, but it doesn't change anything. I'm so sorry, Wulf.”
“Don't be. Never be sorry.”
“Still.”
“I know.”
“I'm sorry.”
“Me, too, Tocci.”
“You'll always be my teenage dream, Wulf.”
“And don't you forget it.”
“Never. Never, ever, never.”
“I'll miss you.”
“And I'll miss you. But this is good.”
“It's not. Things won't ever be good again.”
“Don't say that.”
“I guess it's fair. You had to deal with an unrequited fantasy for years. Now it's my turn.”
“Now you're just being dramatic.”
“Not even a little, Tocci. Not even at all.”
“Sometimes you are so beautiful, Wulf.”
“Take care of yourself. And if you ever need anything, anything at all, just call me.”
“Okay.”
“I'm serious.”
“I know you are. And I promise I will.”
“But it was good, whatever it was.”
“It really was.”
“Katya Tocci – the best neighbor I ever had.”
“Wulfric Stone – the most interesting neighbor I ever had.”
28
They'd had their last conversation together while they got dressed. Then he'd walked her to his door and he kissed her goodbye. Held onto her like he never wanted to let her go, his lips fusing to her own.
But then he stepped away. Smiled at her and pinched her chin between his thumb and forefinger, tilting her head up. He looked her over once, like he was appraising her, and for quite possibly the first time ever, she felt like she passed muster. Then he let her go and wished her well.
She walked through the party and found Vieve, gave a brief rundown on what had happened with her father. The other girl thanked her, then hurried back to her own house.
Then Katya went and found her mother, giving her a fierce hug. When she pulled away, they were both glassy eyed and fighting back tears.
Then she went up to her room and she crawled into bed. She slept for a long time. Through the rest of the party and the night. Through the morning and well into the afternoon. It was almost four by the time she went downstairs, and when her mother started talking to her, she already knew what the older woman was going to say.
“You missed it dear, Wulfric came over to say goodbye. He had to go back to work. I wanted to come get you, but he asked me not to wake you. Just said to tell you that you'd be in his thoughts.”
It was awful and it hurt and she hated herself a little, but she was confident about her choice. Both Wulf and Liam had put her through the wringer. Tossed her up and down and all around, and worse, she'd let them. She didn't want to be new-Katya or old-Katya or bitter-vengeful-bitch-Katya – she just wanted to be Katya, plain and simple. She would have to learn how, and she couldn't do that when she was caught up in all the drama they'd created.
Seeing her mom in pain, and seeing her dad in the hospital, it had been like a wake up call. She didn't have time to figure out the learning curve of love with Wulf, and she couldn't wait around for Liam to learn what maturity was – she had a life beyond them, and it was time to focus on it. To put away childish things and start being her own kind of adult.
Even if it was really, really hard.
*
Her father was in the hospital for another three weeks. Normally, an amputee didn't spend quite that long, but the severity of his injuries combined with another nasty round of infections had slowed his progress.
But she could honestly say he was doing good. A lot of his eyesight had returned, which had done wonders for his mood. He still had a long way to go, a lot of hurdles to jump, but he was smiling and laughing again. He was banged up and bruised and missing a few parts, but he was still her father.
“Wow, this looks great!”
He was marveling at the sleek ramp that led up to his front door now. Katya chuckled as she pushed his chair.
“Thanks. Wulf had it done right away, after the accident,” she explained.
“Sneaky man, never said a thing to me.”
“He's so selfish that way, just doing things and not wanting any thanks.”