Waiting.
The van stopped twenty meters short, its engine running. The army officers looked at each other and shifted from foot to foot. Antsy.
The van door slid open and a large, burly man with wild gray hair stepped out. Then he turned and reached out his hand to help an elderly woman from the vehicle. And, after her, a tall elderly man.
They walked on either side of Al Lepage. Their pace measured, their faces solemn. Returning the man. Finishing the deed.
The bar lifted, but just before he crossed, Ruth stopped him.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I sent John Fleming to you.”
“I know.”
“No, you don’t know. He terrified me and I wanted to get rid of him. I gave him you to save myself.”
Al Lepage considered Ruth Zardo.
“I could have sent him away too. That’s the difference between us. You saw evil and wanted nothing to do with it. But I invited him in.”
Al looked at the officers waiting for him. Then turned to the man and woman who had saved him once. He shook Monsieur Béliveau’s hand, then looked at Ruth.
“May I?” he asked, and when she nodded, he kissed her on one cheek. “I have no right to ask this, but please look after Evelyn. She knew none of this.”
Then he stepped across the border and became Frederick Lawson once again.
*
Before taking Al Lepage across the border that morning, Ruth had something she needed to do.
She picked up Rosa and walked over to Clara’s cottage. Letting herself in, she found Clara where she knew she’d be. Ruth sat on the sprung and lumpy sofa that smelled of banana peels and apple cores and watched Clara at the easel, staring at Peter’s portrait.
“Who hurt you once, so far beyond repair?” said Ruth.
“The line from your poem,” said Clara, turning on the stool to look at Ruth.
“I was asking you, Clara. Who hurt you once?” Ruth gestured to the easel. “What’re you waiting for?”
“Waiting?” asked Clara. “Nothing.”
“Then why’re you stuck? Like the characters in that goddamned play. Are you waiting for someone, something to save you? Waiting for Peter to tell you it’s okay to get on without him? You’re looking for milk in the wrong place.”
“I just want to paint,” said Clara. “I don’t want to be saved, I don’t want to be forgiven. I don’t even want milk. I just want to paint.”
Ruth struggled out of the sofa. “I did.”
“You did what?” asked Clara.
“The answer to that question. All those years when I couldn’t write, I blamed John Fleming. But I was wrong.”
Clara watched Ruth and Rosa waddle away. She had no idea what the crazy old woman was talking about. But sitting in front of the canvas, it slowly sank in.
Who could do such damage? Who knew where the weaknesses, the fault lines lay? Who could cause all that internal bleeding?
Clara turned back to the portrait of Peter.
“I’m sorry,” she said, looking into his faded face. “Forgive me.”
She placed it carefully against a wall, and put up a fresh canvas.
She knew now why she was blocked. She was trying to do the wrong painting. Trying to make amends by turning painting into penance.
Clara picked up her brush and contemplated the empty canvas. She would do a portrait of the person who had hurt her once, beyond repair.
With one bold stroke after another she painted. Capturing the rage, the sorrow, the doubt, the fear, the guilt, the joy, the love, and finally, the forgiveness.
It would be her most intimate, most difficult painting yet.
It would be a self-portrait.
*
Evelyn Lepage sat in her kitchen contemplating the gas oven. Trying to get up the strength to turn it on. But all the bones of her body had finally dissolved. And she couldn’t move. Not to save her life, and not to take it.
Out the window she saw a car pull up. Two elderly people got out.
“We’ve come to take you home, Evie,” came the elderly woman’s thin voice from the other side of the door. It was almost unrecognizable for its gentleness. “If you don’t mind living with a broken-down old poet and her duck.”
*
Jean-Guy held the phone to his ear and looked out the window of the Gamaches’ study, to the quiet village. Then he turned from the window to the papers, neatly stacked, on his father-in-law’s desk.
All the offers. The answer to “What next?” was in there.
And then the phone was answered.
“Oui, all??” came Annie’s cheerful voice.
*
“Armand,” said Reine-Marie, as they finished the breakfast dishes. “Are you ever going to tell me what John Fleming did?”
Armand put the dish down and dried his hands on the towel.
“What John Fleming did is in the past. It’s over, gone.”
She studied him closely. “Is it?”
“Oui. But if, after this phone call, you still want to know about Fleming, I’ll tell you.”
The Nature of the Beast: A Chief Inspector Gamache Novel
Louise Penny's books
- The Bourbon Kings
- The English Girl: A Novel
- The Harder They Come
- The Light of the World: A Memoir
- The Sympathizer
- The Wonder Garden
- The Wright Brothers
- The Shepherd's Crown
- The Drafter
- The Dead Girls of Hysteria Hall
- The House of Shattered Wings
- The Secrets of Lake Road
- The Dead House
- The Appearance of Annie van Sinderen
- The Blackthorn Key
- The Girl from the Well
- Dishing the Dirt
- Down the Rabbit Hole
- The Last September: A Novel
- Where the Memories Lie
- Dance of the Bones
- The Hidden
- The Darling Dahlias and the Eleven O'Clock Lady
- The Marsh Madness
- The Night Sister
- Tonight the Streets Are Ours
- The House of the Stone
- A Spool of Blue Thread
- It's What I Do: A Photographer's Life of Love and War
- Between You & Me: Confessions of a Comma Queen
- Lair of Dreams
- Trouble is a Friend of Mine
- In a Dark, Dark Wood
- Make Your Home Among Strangers
- Last Bus to Wisdom
- H is for Hawk
- Hausfrau
- See How Small
- A God in Ruins
- Dietland
- Orhan's Inheritance
- A Little Bit Country: Blackberry Summer
- Did You Ever Have A Family
- Signal
- Nemesis Games
- A Curious Beginning
- What We Saw
- Beastly Bones
- Driving Heat
- Shadow Play