Leaning back on her elbows, she squints into the sun. “It doesn’t take a genius to know that last part is all you. He’s in deep. He cares about you a lot, and as his friend, it’s my duty to be nosy and ask you… how do you feel about him? Because, at the end of the day, it’s on you. That boy ain’t going nowhere. So what is your heart telling you?”
What is my heart saying? It’s saying I just destroyed my best friend. That I’m standing here getting advice from a girl I barely know, as an electronic baby coos at her feet, and that I need to find the nearest gallon of ice cream and dive in head first. But even as I think it, I know I’m not being completely honest.
My heart… it’s screaming at me, loud and clear.
I kick at the railing. No wonder Cade left me; our relationship isn’t cold, it’s barely even reached room temperature, and I’m already thinking about Justin. Wondering if, now that I’m free, he’ll tell me the rest of the story. If after he does, it’ll make a difference. If the timing is finally right for us.
How can my heart be so fickle? It should be in mourning. Hell, after the beating it took with Justin three years ago, it should be curled up in the fetal position.
Do what scares you.
The long-forgotten motto roars through me like an old friend, like a lion waking from its slumber. But look what happened when I followed that philosophy before. It backfired miserably. I’ve spent the last three years doing the exact opposite of that, avoiding the sport I love and keeping my heart locked up safe and tight. Yeah, it’s been boring, but it’s also been beautifully tear-less.
My heart whispers, “But Justin helped you face your fear, and you kicked the barrel course’s ass. Maybe it’s time you let him back in, too.”
Gah. My heart is so damn nosy.
Excitement and anticipation surge though me with such force I practically vibrate on the steps. Aly beams up at me, clearly a mind reader, and I exhale the toxic fear. “I need to find Justin,” I say, and she nods at me.
“My work here is done,” she replies. “Last I saw him, he was heading out to the beach with Justin Jr.”
My feet have already spun, guiding me down the walkway to the private strip of beach behind the house. I’m halfway down the path before I even realize it, and I quickly turn and call out, “Thank you!”
Aly waves me on, holding a thumbs-up, and yells out, “Go get your man!”
Laughing at the absurdity… and possibility… of Justin Carter being my man, for real this time, I take off for the beach. Hope flutters in my heart, an odd yet familiar sensation when it comes to him, and I my press my open hand over my skin.
The steady thump, thump, thump against my palm pushes me on.
Part of me realizes I need to grieve my relationship with Cade, to take stock of what happened, and find a way to salvage our friendship—and I will. He deserves that, and I can’t lose him from my life completely. He was a huge part of my past. But right now, I need to chase my future.
I check either side of the beach, holding onto the rope railing as I search for Justin. The walkway climbs over a sand dune and I smile as I crest the hill, somehow knowing he’s waiting on the other side.
A few steps away from the top, I call out, “Justin?” too eager to wait, and hear a muffled shuffling in response. I always knew my body was attuned to his. Smiling, I rock back and forth on my heels and wait for him to duck out from behind the dune, still amazed that I’m actually doing this.
“Peyton?” Justin appears in front of me, just on the other side of the railing, with the robot baby in his arms and a strange expression on his face. “What are you doing here? Is everything okay?”
“Yeah.” I shake my head a bit, hoping to shake off the sudden weird vibe, and say, “I think so. I mean, Cade just left… We, uh, we broke up.”
Joy lights his face before he quickly checks it, replacing it with a look of concern. I stifle a grin. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“No, you’re not.” I laugh as a swarm of hyped-up butterflies takes flight in my gut. “But that’s not why I’m here. Not really. I came to find you because, well, I talked to Aly, and I think… I mean, if you are, I’m ready to…”
My voice fades as the scene plays out like a bad teen movie.
The slight breeze off the Gulf of Mexico carries a sharp, salty scent, and with it comes the past. I’m here on the beach, but I may as well be back at the concession stand at Fairfield Academy. The players are the same, the shock just as real.
The slap of stupidity every bit as embarrassing.
How insane can I be? Will I ever learn? I’m standing here with my heart in my hands, prepared to hand it over to the very guy who once cut it to shreds, and out comes the girl who once held the knife.
Lauren struts out from behind the sand dune, the same one Justin was just behind, and flashes me a smile as she fixes the bottom of her impossibly tiny bikini. I stagger back, my gasp echoing in my head, and Justin holds out his hands as if to catch me.