This year, I turned sixty years old and I am feeling pretty damn good about life. And y’all know I didn’t come to this realization because my journey’s been easy. I overcame enormous challenges to have peace of mind and thank God, I have never forgotten from whence I come. Charity and “giving back” are constants for me, whether in the areas of mental health, AIDS, or young people in need. Even on a one-to-one basis, I love to help when people ask my opinions or advice about their lives. But I also know you can’t help nobody who ain’t ready to be helped!
But peace of mind and trying to do good deeds can’t stop some fucked-up shit from coming around the corner right into your life. On the very day Mama died, September 11, 2015, I learned that a con artist had slithered into my life. He had been scamming women for twenty-five years and had spent four years in federal prison for fraud. Fortunately, I have surrounded myself with very good friends. When one of my girlfriend noticed that I was not acting like my usual self since I’d been dating this man, she took action and gave me proof that I was this man’s latest victim.
Never in a million fucking years could I have imagined this kind of unspeakable evil finding its way into my life. Let me say this to you: there are sociopaths in this world. Please don’t suspect the worst of people, but do pay attention, pay attention, pay the fuck attention! Listen to your instinct. If a romance or any opportunity, seems too good to be true, it probably isn’t true.
It took months for me to come out of the abyss into which I fell on the day Mama died and, rather than mourn, I had to go to the police station to report that I had been the victim of a con artist. That winter, as my numbness finally began to recede, a dear friend was diagnosed with HPV cancer of the throat. It pained me that work prevented me from being by her side through the ordeal. Fortunately, she is now cancer-free. Shortly afterward Charmaine’s sweet little poodle, Cashoo, had a stroke, fell in the pool, and drowned. When the next year my best friend’s young niece overdosed on heroin, I wondered whether my love was adequate to help him and his family cope with the loss.
This wonderful, amazing thing called life can take you through hell and back, but I’ve seen so many lights at the end of so many tunnels that my soul is full to the brim. Though I have been through the fire more than once, I know that coming out on the other side can be glorious and beautiful. With aging comes clarity; I see that had one man, one show, or one breakdown been different, I wouldn’t be the woman I am today.
But all those flowery thoughts can’t reverse the fact that aging can be a bitch on your body! Not long ago on the set of black-ish, my right knee, Arthur, went out. I screamed bloody murder! Ruby was taken down, y’all! At this point I had been a regular on the show for two years and had become an integral part of the Johnson family. Everything I had wished for that night on the Adriatic had come true; I was co-starring in a prime-time network show that tackles the issues of the day with gravity and humor, working with talented castmates, and portraying a character I could really sink my teeth into.
Over the past couple of years, I have sought to find Ruby Johnson, to capture her flow and define the colors and levels of her personality. My favorite aspect of Ruby is her relationship with her daughter-in-law Rainbow, played by Tracee Ellis Ross. Oh, how the two of us love creating the Ruby-Rainbow battle for superiority in the Johnson household! I am so proud of Tracee. Not just for handling her role so beautifully, but also for her activism. She is a role model for so many young women.
Anthony Anderson, who plays my son Dre, and I are just damn fools together. I’ll never forget the scene in the “Old Digger” episode when Dre fakes a heart attack when he encounters Ruby and her young lover in the hallway. As Dre lay on the floor and Ruby tapped his head demanding that the “devil come out!” I couldn’t stop laughing, because Anthony kept bobbing his head in sync with my hand. Nothing like great chemistry; or should I say two happy fools in harmony! Thank you, Black Jesus!
The best thing about playing Ruby is that she loves kids as much as I do. It has been extraordinary to work with the four young actors who portray Ruby’s grandchildren. Often working with kids can wear you out. But I am very happy that Yara Shahidi, Marcus, Miles, and Caila (Marsai) are exceptional in every way.
People often ask what it’s like to work with Laurence Fishburne. Here is the answer: it’s ice cream, cotton candy, and Christmas morning.
Black-ish is a happy set, thanks to the extraordinary leadership of its creator and showrunner, Kenya Barris. The entire black-ish family the crew, producers, writers, props and wardrobe teams, to the young production assistants, is amazing. And where would I be without makeup artist Martha Callender and hairstylist Tinisha Meeks, the two angels who are trapped in my trailer with my cappuccino-needing, crazy ass every morning?
Before I became part of the black-ish family, I would be recognized mostly by black people. In testament to the universality of black-ish, these days the fans approaching me are every shade of American. I am humbled when they compliment me on my portrayal of Ruby.
I am proud of Ruby. To me she is the exemplification of what “Mother of Black Hollywood” means. She represents how far we’ve come. I grew up watching black women play characters that, in some ways, stereotyped black womanhood—Hattie McDaniel in Gone With the Wind, Juanita Moore in Imitation of Life. Don’t get me wrong: those actresses were well aware of their positions and were doing an honest job. My point is the heritage is real. Ruby incorporates the most positive parts of those characters and mixes in accurate representations of African American women, like those delivered by Cicely Tyson in Sounder, Diahann Carroll in Claudine, and even Pam Grier in Foxy Brown. Ruby brings it all into the modern world. Sure, Ruby’s got the traditional, down-to-earth, God-fearing, outspoken (but always loving) profile that is usually attributed to black mothers on screen. But she also has her own life, has strong political views, and moves frequently and easily from braids to head-wraps to her ’fro. Plus, I would bet that Ruby, God bless her, always checks the meat before getting her alpha wolf on with her newest sweet young thang!
After we wrapped the third season of black-ish, I decided to reward myself with another luxury trip. This time it was around the world by private jet for a month! I had been saving for this extra-special vacation for ten years. I was so happy that Marc Shaiman and his husband, Lou Mirabal, joined me.