He shrugged. “They said she left the house a year ago.”
I bit my lip so hard I tasted the saltiness of my blood. “Do you know where she is now?” She had no one to rely on in the capital. The only places for her would be streets, ditches, corners of graveyards, and the Northern District, where unfortunate women were forced to sell their bodies for a living.
“They didn’t tell me.”
“But there’s nowhere she could go!”
“That’s what I heard, and now I’m telling you.”
My hands trembled, and I almost dropped the robes. “Why? Why did he banish my mother?”
That heartless gambler. How could he do that?
When I raised my head again, the eunuch had left. Whether he had pocketed the money for himself or gave it to Qing, I did not know or care. The most important thing was Mother.
Where was she? Where would she sleep? What would she do when it rained and snowed?
A sweeper appeared in front of the tree and peered to see what I was doing. I left the shade and went to the wardrobe chamber. But I could not concentrate on folding a single garment. I told Plum I did not feel well and returned to my chamber.
The only person who could help me was the Emperor. He could issue an imperial notice and have it posted on the wall in the Western Market. Then everyone would help find Mother.
How could I get his attention again? I had reviewed the paintings. I knew more about bedroom secrets. I could seduce him, persuade him…
But Pheasant… What would he think if he knew I had gone to his father’s bed?
I slept fitfully that night. One moment I seemed to swim in a cloud of rain and mist with Pheasant but soon plunged into a pool of tears that Mother shed. I called for her, swam to her, but somehow the pool transformed into a dark cave filled with echoes. Before dawn broke, I got up from my mat and stepped into the courtyard. No one was up yet at that hour, and it was unusually quiet.
The air smelled fresh. I sat on a stone bench under the oak tree. I tried to think—I had to—and I had to think fast. But I was cold, my mind thick, hard, like the walls surrounding me.
Strings of daylight spun in my eyes. A golden oriole flitted around a pear tree and then settled to perch on a branch. White petals and fine nectar showered to the ground. The bird stretched its neck, trying to swallow something, a seed or perhaps a grain of rice.
“A woman is not a bag of grain to be weighed and passed around by whoever wishes to purchase it,” Mother had said once when Father was teaching me Confucius. I could not remember what made her say that, but her voice, so clear and dignified, stayed with me.
Would I be a bag of grain if I used my body to get what I needed? And what would Pheasant say if he knew? But I had to make a decision, and I would not tell him what I would do, because nothing outweighed my desire to care for Mother.
I had to win over the Emperor so he could help me.
? ? ?
I walked down the trails leading to the Quarters of the Pure Lotus and came to Jewel’s bedchamber. I composed myself and then knocked on her door.
She was eating lychees, the rare fruit with a scaly shell and jellylike pulp that every lady coveted. It was not lychee season, and she must have received them from the imperial ice pits. “Oh, Mei, there you are.” She waved away her maids. “You don’t look like you slept well. Or have you been crying?”
My eyes lingered on the fruit. They looked plump and juicy, and I knew they were incredibly rare and precious. “It’s a windy day. The sand got in my eyes, and I rubbed them too hard. You haven’t gone out?”
“Is it so? It must be a strong wind; otherwise, it wouldn’t bring you here.”
There was no point dancing around the subject. I folded my hands across my stomach. “I have come to ask a favor, Most Adored.”
She picked up a lychee. “Want one?”
I had always loved them. But if I accepted it, I would owe her a favor. Besides, I could not eat anything. “No.”
“They’re delicious. Everyone loves them. Try one.”
I ignored her extended hand. “You would still be in the Yeting Court if not for me. You owe me, Jewel.”
“I knew you’d ask for something. What do you wish for? And I am deeply sorry for what happened on the polo field. I asked for you after the feast. My maid said you refused to see me.”
She was trying to change the subject. I bit my lip. “I am here now, Most Adored.”
She sighed, peeling back the thin, red shell on the lychee. “You know I would be glad to help you, Mei. I’m not your enemy, I assure you. But it’s not that simple. The Emperor is the Emperor. He won’t listen to me.”
“I’m not asking you to beg for me.”
“I know you are better than that. You’re an honorable woman, Mei. I’ve always admired your courage.”
“Really? Then give me one of your nights with him. We’ll be even.”
The thin shell fell on the table, and Jewel held the white pulp to her lips, juice flowing down her fingers. “One night?”