Theo attacked his work with renewed energy after he’d been to Paris. He was excited about his upcoming show, and wanted to finish a fresh body of work for it. And seeing her had fueled him too. She was still the same, so magical and ethereal and bewitching, and yet she had a real life now, or wanted one, and was trying to forge one for herself. He didn’t use the number she had given him. If she wanted to talk to him, she’d call, he told himself. But she didn’t. He didn’t hear a word from her all through November.
Marc dropped by from time to time, to take a break from his own work. He had taken on a big commission for a local museum, and he was doing well. He promised to come to Paris this time for Theo’s show.
And Theo’s mother was in Paris. They were having fun and enjoying the city. She kept saying she’d be home soon, but they were making up for lost time, and even making noises about getting married in the spring, which their children thought was sweet.
At the end of November there was a terrible cold spell in the South, with frost on the ground every morning, and a light snow on the last day of the month. He would have thought it was pretty, but there was no heat in his studio, and his hands were always freezing, which made it hard to paint.
He was coming back from checking the deserted restaurant on his bicycle just after dusk, when he turned into his driveway and saw her, just standing there, with snow on her hair, freezing too. He knew she couldn’t have been waiting long, since he had left half an hour before. And she had a car in the driveway, but she had been standing in the falling snow, and smiled when she saw him. He got off his bike and walked it to the front door where she stood. He didn’t want to ask why she had come, but she saw the question in his eyes. She was wearing heavy boots and a warm coat.
“I came to ask you if you meant it,” she said softly.
“Meant what?” He was almost holding his breath, afraid to frighten her away, like a bird about to take flight, perched on his finger.
“That I could stay at the restaurant for a little while.”
“Of course.” He couldn’t believe his good fortune. It had been six weeks since he’d seen her in Paris and hadn’t heard a word since, and now here she was. She had suddenly appeared.
“I finished my class at the Louvre. I want to look for a job.” But she was scared, and didn’t want to say it. She felt like she had nothing to sell and no experience. Who was going to hire her at her age, never having worked anywhere except a factory eight years before? And what would she say? “I should have called before I came,” she said, looking apologetic. “I could stay at a hotel.”
“We’ve got six empty rooms.” He wanted to tell her that she could stay with him too, but he didn’t dare. She had to get there on her own. “I’ll take you over now if you want. There’s no food, but we can get something to eat after you drop off your bag. Can I ride with you?” She smiled, and they got in the car she had rented. She had driven down from Paris to clear her head. It had taken ten hours, but she liked the drive. And they were at the deserted restaurant a few minutes later. He opened the door with his keys and turned off the alarm, and then he turned the heat on for her. The house was cold, and the two security guards were posted outside. They greeted him pleasantly when he walked in, and he told them Natasha would be staying there.
He turned the lights on in the living room, and she wandered past the paintings she had seen before. They were more beautiful than she remembered. And it felt odd being there with him. She had been with Vladimir before, even if Theo had been there too. And then she laughed as she stopped in front of one of the paintings and looked at him.
“I should be wearing one of those ‘Not for Sale’ signs now.”
“Then someone might steal you,” he said softly. “I wouldn’t want that to happen.”
“Neither would I.” Her eyes looked huge in her face.
He took her bag upstairs then and let her pick the bedroom she liked best, and he turned the heat on upstairs so it would be warm when they got back. And she smiled as she followed him downstairs, and they went back to her car, and went to a local place that served socca, which she had never had before. And they talked over dinner, remembering the past and savoring the present.
“I remember all the questions you asked me when we had lunch together,” she said quietly. It seemed a thousand years ago.
“I was trying to understand the choices you had made. But you don’t owe anyone any explanations.”
“I told you I loved him, and I thought he loved me. It turns out that neither of us knew what that was.” A chapter of her life had closed, but it had had merit in the beginning, just not at the end. Without Vladimir, she would never have survived in Russia. And finally, she had risked everything, maybe even her life, to help Theo. He couldn’t forget that as he looked at her, and he knew he never would. And he could see that in her months alone, she had made peace with her history. And Theo respected the choices she had made in her early life, and since. They made sense at the time, and so did the decisions she was making now. No one could truly know what she’d gone through in Moscow, and how terrifying it had been for her, and how it had influenced the path she chose. He didn’t judge her. How could he? And now it was all different anyway. She was no longer anyone’s mistress. She was free to make her own choices, and the mistakes she made would also be her own. The past no longer felt like a heavy burden to her, as she looked at him. She liked taking responsibility for herself, she had longed for that, and a normal life. She had given it all up with Vladimir. And now she had years ahead of her to do what she wanted, make good choices, meet new friends, and fall in love with the right man.
And Theo was no longer obsessed by a woman who belonged to someone else and he could never have. It was all human scale now, the good and the bad. She didn’t need or want what Vladimir had given her. It came at too high a price. She was no longer willing to sell her soul or deny who she was.
Theo was smiling at her as they finished dinner.
“What are you looking at?” she asked him.
“You’re not a portrait anymore. You’re real.” She had lived in his studio for months, and in his head, and now he could reach out and touch her.
They went for a walk after dinner. It was a cold November night, but the air felt good on their faces. They could do anything they wanted now, and no one could stop them, or frighten them, or shame them. He stopped while they were walking, and put his arms around her, and kissed her. She smiled at him after they kissed, and then they walked back to the car, holding hands. The past was history, and the future lay ahead full of promise and hope. They had come a long way to find each other. And the woman who had haunted him since he’d met her was finally within reach, as he kissed her again.