“No, but he was thrown around inside the car.” She touched her forehead. “I think this came from him. His elbow, maybe. It was crazy, Mom, like the scariest roller coaster you can imagine.”
“It’s over now, Ellen.” I wanted to hug or shake the memory from her. She seemed trapped in it.
“It went on and on. The car kept moving and hitting stuff, and Bonnie was screaming. The windshield broke, and I saw the cracks spread across like it was in slow motion.” She looked at me. “When I got out of the car, I couldn’t believe we weren’t all that far from the road.” She shuddered.
I wrapped my arms around her again and hugged her while I pressed my lips to her hair.
A man’s voice came from behind us. I turned, expecting to see the police officer, and saw, instead, the boy from my past, the first Ellen’s father, Spencer Bell. The air whooshed from my lungs.
He was older, of course, as I was. His dark hair was thinning a little on top, but otherwise, time had been kind to him.
“Hannah? Is that you? Hannah Cooper?”
He moved toward me, and I used Ellen as an excuse to turn away from him—buying a short second to compose my face—and then stood and stepped away from the bed.
I smoothed my blouse and pushed my hair behind my ear. I didn’t know what to do except to smile pleasantly as I said, “Spencer? What a surprise.”
He extended his hand, and I had no choice but to take it. No reason to avoid it, really, I told myself. He was ancient history. He had no bearing on my present.
He shook my hand, then pulled me into a hug. Inwardly, I recoiled. What was going on here?
“Hi, Mr. Bell,” Ellen said. “How’s Braden?”
His mood was somber. “He’s doing well considering. He’s lucky he only has a broken arm.”
I recognized his emotional struggle to reorient priorities and caring, to be able to say “only” a broken arm, and my incipient panic eased.
“It will heal well, I hope,” I said.
“Mom, this is Braden’s father.”
I attempted a small joke. “I figured that out.”
He pointed toward me and smiled at Ellen. “Don’t tell me this is your mother? We’re old friends from high school. Did you know?”
Ellen shook her head. “I didn’t.”
Spencer smiled. “Ellen’s a wonderful girl. She and Braden are together a lot. I know you’re proud of her, with good reason.” His brow furrowed as he stared at me. “You and I . . . I don’t think we’ve seen each other since the summer we graduated? Then I went off to college. That was when Braden was born. Melissa’s son. You remember Melissa?” He forced a smile again.
I wanted to be sympathetic. He was worried about his son. But I didn’t want to encourage this conversation.
“I hope your son has a swift recovery. I’m glad he wasn’t . . . more badly injured.”
He nodded. “Me too. Truly. I saw the car, so this is nothing short of a miracle.” With that, he gave me a wry grin, turned, and walked away.
I was reminded of the boy who’d written my number on his arm and changed the course of my life. My head ached. I rubbed the back of my neck, telling myself to let this go. It meant nothing.
This whole experience was too much. But I was handling it, I reassured myself, despite the humming in my ears and the rush of heat in my chest and face. Then the officer walked up.
“Are you all right, ma’am?”
“Yes, I’m fine.”
“Are you sure? Why don’t you sit down? Would you like some water?”
“No, I’m fine, really.”
“You’re very pale, ma’am.”
I forced a smile. “I’ve never done this before, never been in this position.” I sat on the edge of the bed, and that seemed to satisfy him.
“Hopefully you never will be again.” He nodded toward Ellen, who bit her lip. “Can you confirm her name, age, and your relationship to her?”
I did. He asked permission to speak with Ellen. I said yes, if Ellen felt up to it. Ellen said she did. But she didn’t have much to offer.
“I wasn’t paying attention. I don’t know what happened. One moment we were driving along, and I was talking to my friend Braden in the backseat. Suddenly there was a bright light.”
“From outside?”
She shook her head and looked at me, confused. “I don’t know. Everything happened at once.”
“Where were you coming from?”
“We’d been at Bonnie’s house waiting for John and Braden.” She shrugged. “When they arrived, we took off. We were on the way to Charlottesville to go see a movie. And that’s it. If you’re asking about drinking or anything—no.”
He nodded.
“How are the others?” I asked.
“I’ll leave the injuries to the doctors, but lucky. Very lucky. Your daughter came through the best.”
“Mom always fusses about wearing my seat belt. I guess she’s right.”
“Moms usually know best,” he said.
They released Ellen soon after. She insisted on going to see the other kids. Braden was with an orthopedist, and the other boy was getting stitches. Bonnie was bruised and subdued. Her parents were with her. Her mother’s eyes were swollen and red. Her dad looked calm. I knew them, but barely, and we exchanged a few words, then I touched Ellen’s arm and told her it was time to leave.
Roger was in the waiting room. I’d almost forgotten him. Ellen was delighted to see him. She brightened and hugged him.
“You brought Mom to me? Thanks.”
“You look good.” He smiled at her. “How do you feel?”
Ellen put her arms in both of ours. “Tired,” she said, then added, “Take me home, please.”
The doctor had given Ellen pills for pain. I was sure she’d be hurting come the morning. But she was young and resilient. I was a very lucky mom.
When we got home, I made us tea, and we had a small snack, but Ellen’s eyelids were fluttering as she tried to stay upright and awake. Finally, I told her to get some sleep. She gave me a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek, and then went into the hallway. The light came on in her room and spilled back up the hallway. Within minutes it was off. Before I’d finished picking up the kitchen, she was sound asleep.
I stood in her doorway and watched her sleep. I wanted to smooth the hair back from her face and tuck the blanket around her snug and tight. I remembered when she’d made a much smaller bump in the bed. She was grown now. A young woman. I was very proud of her. How close had I come to losing her tonight?
The temptation was strong to set a chair into the open doorway and watch her all night, but she didn’t need me in that way any longer, and I wasn’t as young as I used to be. I needed my rest. I moved on down the hall to my room, turned on the bedside lamp, and then closed the door so the light wouldn’t disturb Ellen.
Now what? I sat on the edge of the bed.
Now what?
She hadn’t asked about what Spencer had said about us dating years ago. I’d thought she would, and I was prepared to brush it off as meaningless ancient history. Sometimes trauma confused things. While she hadn’t asked tonight, she might ask tomorrow. I needed to be prepared.
Prepared? What a sick joke. Ellen was dating Spencer’s son.