Also, I am not going to use the Internet to look things up anymore when I forget the word, because this is my book and Google is not my brain and this book is supposed to be a part of my brain. You know what I mean? I want this book to have MY WORDS even if they are the wrong words.
So here it goes. We’ll start with Harry.
THE MCCOY SIBLINGS: AN UNOFFICIAL BIOGRAPHY
CHAPTER 1: HARRISON
Harrison George McCoy was born on a dark day in December, but many would say his cries rang like the bells of Christmas. Actually, no one said that, but he was born around Christmas. As a child, Harrison was obsessed with old coins. Whenever Mom visited her mom in Canada, she brought back Canadian coins, and coins from France, and sometimes coins from England and coins from Spain. Stuart also brought him coins from India the other day and I can’t remember what they’re called but that was so nice of Stuart.
Anyway, where was I? One important day however Harrison went over to his friend Blake’s house and discovered the exciting never-ending world of video games. At first I was not happy about this, having been a child of my parents, who do not like screens. But after watching the way his face lights up when he plays them and how if you ask him one question about Minecraft he will talk more to you than he will ever talk about his own life, I changed my mind.
All this to say Harrison McCoy found his calling with the movement of digital blocks onto other blocks. With this knowledge Harrison will excel in geometry and physics. He will make it through high school with many friends who also have his interests. Oh, like a video game club! Harrison McCoy will join a video game club in let’s say ninth grade.
Soon this video game club became less of a club and more like a collection. No, collective! They mushed their ideas about video games together and created their own video game. Called Geoblock not bad, huh? I should tell him about this idea.
As they got older all their different personalities came together in a perfect balanced way, and they started a company to sell their game. Harrison will be the major video game maker. The boss. And because of his quietness yet also his passion for Geoblock he will be a great leader. The business will succeed beyond his wildest dreams.
One of the members of the collective will be a woman or man that Harrison will always disagree with but respect a lot, because their arguments always find a good answer. After they have taken care of all their business stuff and are full human beings, they will realize they can be perfect life partners as well. They will adopt a puppy and name it Puppy, after the original Puppy. And they will live long after that as a happy family.
(NOT) THE END
HOT, STILL, AMERICAN INDEPENDENCE DAY
Just like every year, they blocked off all the streets in Hanover and people walked around without much clothing, getting sunburned, drinking out of bottles of water or bottles of beer. It was a good day for me, brain-wise and body-wise and otherwise-wise, so while Mom and Dad and the kids went to ride on the rides, I met up with Stuart.
“My little American,” he said, rubbing my shoulders when I found him on the main road. I kissed him. He tasted bitter and sweet. “Having some beers?”
“Yeah, I just…” He rubbed his face with his hand. “Sometimes I just need a break.”
“Good! Yes! You should relax.” He had come over almost every day this week, helping to do the dishes, taking Puppy for long walks, driving Bette and Davy to camp.
“How’s the writing?” I asked.
“Blah,” he said. “America!” he shouted instead, and put his arm around my shoulders.
I laughed. “Fair enough!”
I told him about the biographies. He told me about a regular who had come into the Canoe Club that reminded him of a short story. When we arrived at his house, I could hear people’s voices, but couldn’t see them. I tried to look up, but my eyeballs don’t really do that these days, so I just listened.
“Stu-ey’s back!” I heard Ross Nervig shout.
“Are they on the roof?” I asked Stuart.
“Yep!”
Inside the garage I squeezed my hands in and out of fists, and craned my neck to look upward so my eyeballs didn’t have to.
“Oh!” Stuart said. “We don’t have to go up there. I’ll tell them to come down here.”
“You don’t have to do that,” I said.
“No, baby,” he said, putting his hands on my cheeks. “They should come down here. I’m so stupid. I will not let you strain yourself.”
“It’s fine,” I told him, and added I don’t like the language, “I will not let you…” to a long list of things that I had not said to Stuart. The list included the following:
Please don’t call me “baby.”
Please don’t remind me to take my medication. If I forget, I would rather my family did that.
Please don’t stroke my hair and become sad, because that makes me sad.