“I’ve laid out my fleece.” Brian would understand. The Old Testament prophet Gideon had laid out a fleece twice to be certain God was speaking, that what he heard wasn’t just his imagination. Roman knew asking for three confirmations was pushing it, but he wanted to discern whether it was God nudging him or his own sinful heart leading him on. I need to be sure, Lord. I know what I want, but there are plenty of days when I still don’t know what’s right.
“Okay.” Brian stood. “I’d better get to bed or I’ll be too tired to face tomorrow. I’ve got counseling appointments all morning, so I won’t make lunch.” They’d been meeting every Wednesday for months. Brian opened the door and then looked back at Roman. “You mentioned going to San Francisco after you finished the wall. Still planning on taking that trip?”
Something else God had been pressing him to do. “I’ve been thinking about it.”
“Whatever it is that’s holding you back, remember, you already survived it.”
“That doesn’t mean I want to relive it.”
After Brian left, Roman watched the basketball game—or tried to. He kept thinking about going to San Francisco. Would he ever be completely at peace unless he went back to the Tenderloin and took a slow walk through his past? What good is it to remember the bad stuff, the shame, the anger that got me into so much trouble? Why do You keep pushing me to do this? What do you want from me, Jesus?
Go with open eyes, Bobby Ray. Look for Me.
The hair stood on the back of Roman’s neck. He knew that still, small voice. When the suggestion came from Brian, Roman ignored it. Now, it was a command.
I know what happened there, Lord. I’ve confessed it. Why do You keep hounding me about it?
Roman wanted to go on making excuses, but he knew he wasn’t going to find any peace in disobedience. Rubbing his face, Roman leaned back. Okay, okay. I get the message. Just don’t expect me to be happy about it.
Grace left the UC Merced campus in high spirits. Her meeting with the dean of admissions went far better than expected. Her UCLA transcripts had been transferred. The dean was impressed. She could qualify for financial assistance, and the education and sociology departments had test programs for children. Samuel would make a good guinea pig, but he’d miss his playtime with Matías. The two little boys got along better than brothers.
On the drive home, she thought about how much time VirtualGrace.biz demanded. A scholarship was one thing; financial aid in the form of a loan was another. She’d be reducing her income by cutting back on work hours, and she’d also be taking on school debt. It was all well and good to dream about returning to college, but she needed to think about whether now was the right time. Samuel was changing so quickly, she didn’t want to miss a minute with him. Dorothy had volunteered to babysit, but three mornings a week and two nights away was too much time. Her education could wait until Samuel was old enough for preschool.
But then, she might decide to homeschool him.
Grace gave a soft laugh as she parked in front of the bungalow. “I guess I’m supposed to wait, Lord.” With so many questions and conflicting emotions, she didn’t want to plow ahead. All things in God’s perfect timing. Now didn’t seem to be it.
Aunt Elizabeth came up to spend the weekend. Chuckling, she put her overnight case on the dresser. “I can’t believe I’m going to be sleeping in a race car bed!” It was a full-size twin bed and comfortable.
“Samuel won’t mind.” Grace kissed his neck as he rode her hip. “He’s going to sleep with Mommy.”
Dorothy and George invited them for Saturday brunch. “We’re leaving for San Francisco on Monday.”
“Another cruise.” George sighed dramatically. “She goes online, finds deals, and drags me along.”
“Quit pretending you don’t love it.” Dorothy laughed, admitting she loved cruises on Princess ships and jumped on last-minute, low-cost bookings. “It’s just ten days this time, down to Mexico and back.”
George winked. “She won’t have to cook.”
Aunt Elizabeth smiled. “Well, before you book another trip, Dorothy, I’d like you to come to Fresno. We can have lunch. I want you to meet my friend Miranda Spenser. You two have a lot in common.”
Grace was surprised her aunt was willing to share.
“I’d love that!” Dorothy went to get her day planner. As they decided on a date, Dorothy came up with another idea. “Why don’t I bring Samuel with me?”
“Miranda would love to see him.”
Grace wasn’t ready to relinquish him for a daylong excursion to another town, nor did she want to hurt feelings. “I’m sorry, ladies, but my son is too young to be hanging out with older women.”
Dorothy and Aunt Elizabeth laughed, and didn’t press.
As they all chatted and enjoyed the afternoon, Grace thought over the past few months and counted blessings. God had provided all her needs. She had a livelihood, friends both new and old, and a church family. Aunt Elizabeth was now involved in her life in a loving, nondictatorial way. Only one thing kept Grace from feeling at peace: Roman Velasco. He’d changed a great deal, if the most recent feature article was any indication. He had told the reporter about his new life, his work, and even his near-death experience in hell. Pastor Brian Henley had been at the interview and was quoted several times. Shanice had told Grace the two men had become close friends.
Perhaps her love for Roman was the cross she’d have to bear. Or so she’d thought since moving to Merced. Move on, Grace. Stop asking what-if. But now, she felt the nudge to rethink her decision. Maybe it was time to call and talk to him, wish him well. His phone number came to her immediately, warm tingling temptation at a touch of her cell phone screen. And then what? Closing her eyes, she prayed. Should I call him, Lord? Should I open the door?
Silence. She didn’t expect to hear God’s voice, but she wanted to feel right about it. When she didn’t, she knew the answer.
Wait.
Roman awakened when his cell phone vibrated on his bedside table. Groggy, he reached for it, knocking it onto the carpeted floor. Caller ID, Shanice. She wouldn’t call unless it was an emergency. Coming fully awake, Roman grabbed it. “Brian okay?” His voice sounded hoarse from sleep.
“Brian’s fine. He’s with a grieving family at the hospital, and can’t go with me to a nightclub to help a friend. He said to call you.”
“What’s the problem?”
“My ex-roommate, Deena. She checked herself into a six-month recovery program a while back, and then found out yesterday that her fiancé is cheating on her. She’s gone AWOL. She called me from a club. I’ve got to get her out of there before she does something she’ll regret. I’ve already gone down that road and don’t want a repeat scenario. Can you go with me?”
“Where are you now?”
“I’m pulling up in front of your apartment.”
“Okay, but only if I drive.” She sounded so uptight, he didn’t think she should be behind the wheel.
“Fine, but hurry up! Please.”
It took him five minutes to dress. He used the stairs instead of waiting for the elevator and jogged to the car, where he found Shanice already buckled into the passenger seat. The engine was running and waiting to be put in gear when he opened the driver’s side door.
“Thanks, Roman. Brian said you’d come through for me.”
“Where are we going?”
“After Dark. I can give you the address.”
He muttered a foul word under his breath. “I know where it is.”
“Oh.” Shanice looked at him. She winced. “Unhappy memories?”
“Just a reminder of who I was not so long ago.”
“Well, don’t feel like you’re the Lone Ranger. Three years ago, you would’ve seen me there every Friday and Saturday night. Brian knows, in case you’re wondering. I like to have fun. The band is awesome, and I love to dance.” She gave him a wry look. “Is that why you were there?”
“I can dance, but no, that’s not why I went to that club.”
Roman felt her studying him.
“You went to hook up.” She looked straight ahead. “I imagine you had your pick of willing women.” She didn’t say anything for a minute, then glanced at him. “Was Grace the reason you stopped going?”