The Man I Love

Erik turned his head. Daisy was coyly peeking around the door.

“Get over here,” he said, tossing his pencil aside. He swiveled in his chair as she bounded into the booth. He pulled her into his lap and drew her down on his chest, letting the seat rock back.

“You look familiar,” she said, tracing his bottom lip with her thumb. “Have we met?”

“I made you come your brains out last night but we weren’t properly introduced, no.”

She laughed, the color rising up into her face.

He pulled her down to kiss him. “Jesus, that was out of control.”

Daisy sat up and moved one of her legs, straddling him in the chair. He put his feet up on the console, leaning back to look at her.

She perched high on his lap, slim and neat in pink tights and her purple leotard with the criss-cross straps. Her dark hair pulled up in a bun, all errant strands and curls secured. Last night it had spilled down her back in tangled waves. He had wrapped its length around his fingers, drawing it aside to run his mouth up her neck, salty sweat and perfume.

“You were incredible,” he said.

“Me? I didn’t do a damn thing, just took what you gave.”

Erik smiled, his eyes far away with memory. He had her down at the corner of the bed, on her stomach while he came into her from behind. He stood over her, holding her wrists crossed in the small of her back. Watching himself slide in and out of her, listening to her come. Then come again. He was completely in control. He was young and on fire. He could go all night.

“Give it to me,” she had said, gasping, pushing back against him, her legs trembling, her back arching and desperate.

“You like that?” he whispered, his voice husky with power.

“I want it. All night long. Every night. The rest of my life, just keep doing that. God, you fuck me so good…”

The uninhibited language and the raw ache in her voice had made him want to throw back his head and roar like a lion. His grip tightened on her wrists. He held her down and gave her what he had, crazed and consumed, wanting to make her scream the house apart.

He looked at her now, shaking his head. “You were so hot,” he said, running his hands along her legs, kneading the muscles of her thighs. “You have no idea.”

Daisy blushed again, even her ears were red. “I can’t believe some of the shit I was saying.”

“I loved it.” He raked his hands through his hair, looking up at the ceiling, still astonished at how they had stepped off the edge of themselves. Just when he thought they had run the gamut of sexual possibilities, when he was sure the structure was finished, convinced they had come together and connected in every way conceivable…something like last night happened.

You fuck me so good. It wasn’t a word they typically threw around in bed but the more he threaded it through his mind, the more natural it felt. Not crude or belittling, but truthful in a way he couldn’t quite articulate. Authentic. And safe. Because the night had been raw, but it had still been loving.

Savage tenderness.

Another spire on the cathedral.

“I really was just fucking you,” he said, leaning on it, seeing if it would still hold weight.

Daisy’s eyes widened and she put her fingers on his lips, laughing and looking over her shoulder to the open door of the booth. “Yes, you were,” she said.

“The way you were coming.” He took her hand off his mouth, entwined her fingers with his. “I’ve never seen you like that.”

“When you had my hands behind my back? And you were just holding me down?”

“It was insane.”

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