Both Daisy and Will were getting their BFA. Over the years they arranged as many classes together as possible. Not surprisingly, their dance partnership applied itself well to academic study. Working together, they sailed through the coursework with little difficulty. Except for anatomy. Every dancer dreaded the notoriously grueling course. Only rote memorization, a hundred mnemonics and Lucky’s tutoring got Will and Daisy to a pair of C grades last year.
This year their nemesis was dance history, with heavy reading and papers due every other week. James was in the course too, and struggling to keep up. Oddly, the photographic memory he possessed for movement didn’t translate to written material. He admitted he had never been a strong reader. Half the problem was sitting still. Will loved to read and regularly practiced meditation techniques through his martial arts training, but it was an effort for James to focus. Will didn’t mind chatty people, but people with the fidgets drove him batshit.
“Hold still,” Will said one night at Colby Street. “Good Lord, man, you’re like a two-year-old.”
“Put something heavy in your lap,” Erik said.
“What, Fish?”
“When I was a kid and couldn’t sit still at the dining room table, my mom would put the phone book in my lap. Something about the weight makes you settle. Try it. Do we have a phone book?”
“No. Come over here, James.” Will was lying on the couch reading. He moved his feet so James could sit down, and then he put his legs across James’s lap. “There. Think heavy.”
Will returned to reading, engrossed, the fingertips of one hand rubbing along his hairline. From the easy chair, Erik watched James become silent and still. His focus was on his book but his hand rested on Will’s shin in a manner both mindlessly casual and deliberately proprietary. Erik felt an involuntary squint of his eyes, along with a strong but confusing urge to defend his territory. He couldn’t take his eyes from James’s hand. Outlined white against Will’s jeans. The flat ridge of shin bone against his palm, fingertips curved around calf muscle. Slowly moving back and forth. Up toward Will’s knee. Down toward his ankle. Up toward his knee again, going further this time, fingers kneading.
My mind is open, Erik thought, with some defiance. After three years in a conservatory program at a fine arts university, he was completely accustomed to gay men being part of his daily life. He had it worked out. They were them. He was him. He knew when to make jokes and when to be cool. He had nothing but the utmost respect for Kees, and considered him a close friend.
True, there had been uncomfortable moments with a few of the more aggressive types. Boys with overt tactics, looking more to provoke and shock than to connect. It pissed him off, but he knew better than to make a scene. The conservatory thrived on gossip. One good altercation and he’d never hear the end of it. It was better to turn off and not engage. Harder. But better. He got used to it. And as long as homosexuality wasn’t blatantly and personally in his face, he rarely gave it more than five seconds thought.
My mind is open, he thought again, watching James’s hand stroking Will’s leg.
Just stay out of my face.
Erik closed and stacked his books. Without a word he put on his jacket and shoes.
“Going home?” James asked.
“I live here, remember?” Erik said.
Will looked up. “Goodnight, Fish.”
“Night, ladies,” Erik said. And then wished he’d kept his mouth shut. He went out, walked through the hedge into Daisy’s backyard, up the steps into her kitchen, where the teakettle was whistling. Erik shut off the flame and moved the kettle to a back burner.
“Oh, here you are,” Daisy said, coming in. Her hair was damp. She had on a pair of Erik’s flannel pajama bottoms and a tight white T-shirt. “Do you want tea?”
“No,” Erik said, walking by her and taking her hand.
“Where are we going?”
“Up.”
“You’re not even going to say hello?”
He turned, took her face and kissed her. “Hello.” He walked through the living room, pulling her along.
“Are we in a mood?”
“We are.”
“I only have one condom here. Just so you know.”
“At the moment, one is all I need.”
She laughed, following him up the stairs. “Since we’re on the subject. I mean, I was going to wait until your birthday to tell you.”