All I wanted was peace and even if it was for a little while, I had found it. I didn’t question it. I didn’t want to. I just accepted it.
Lying down on the floor beside the sofa, I curled into a ball and pulled Alessio’s jacket close to my chest and buried my face in it.
That was how I felt asleep again.
This time my sleep was free from nightmares and Alberto’s evil grin.
All I felt was peace.
Chapter 17
Ayla
The sunlight shone on my face and I squeezed my eyes tightly against the glare. Turning around, I winced at the soreness in my back and felt my forehead crease in confusion. Why did my soft, cuddly bed feel so hard?
Groggily, I blinked my eyes open and came face to face with the bottom of the couch in my bedroom.
I rubbed my eyes in an effort to get rid of the sleepiness. A lazy yawn escaped from my mouth and I groaned, falling back on the floor again as I crossed my arms over my chest.
Turning my head to the side, I saw Alessio’s jacket lying next to my face. I frowned in confusion and slowly brought my hand to the jacket, running my fingers softly over the fabric.
“Hmm,” I hummed as I tried to think back to last night, feeling strangely disoriented.
Why am I holding his suit jacket?
As soon as the thought ran through my mind, I quickly sat up, dizziness rushing through me. My harsh breathing filled the room and last night flashed before my eyes.
I was worn out, tired of constantly thinking about the past. Tired of fighting my demons.
Feeling numb, I brought his jacket to my chest, holding it there as I closed my eyes. I hated my nightmares. When I escaped, the first few nights were horrible. I could barely get any sleep. But then for two nights, I didn’t have any nightmares.
I felt hopeful.
Last night, all that hope came crashing down around me. I was so na?ve to think that I could escape such a horrendous reality. Shaking my head at my own stupidity, I stood up and stumbled toward my bathroom.
I didn’t even look at myself in the mirror. Instead, I walked straight to the shower and let the warm water cascade over me.
The warmth began to seep under my skin and my muscles relaxed. I stayed under the spray longer than usual, trying to gather myself again.
Closing the water, I stood still for a moment and closed my eyes. Stay strong. Don’t break. Don’t show weakness.
Taking a deep breath, I opened my eyes again and stepped out of the shower.
Stay strong. Don’t break. Don’t show weakness.
Quickly drying myself, I dressed in the same clothes I had been wearing for weeks now. My black maid dress.
When I was finished, I glanced in the mirror, looking at my reflection in silence.
My eyes were red and puffy. Tiredness was clearly written all over my face. It didn’t come as a shock to me. The face in the reflection…I had seen it a million times. Looking exactly like that.
Stay strong. Don’t break. Don’t show weakness.
I walked away without a second look. Alessio’s suit jacket remained on the floor, where I had left it before.
I bent down and took the jacket in my hand.
I was trying so hard to avoid what I felt last night. There was no way to describe it. No words. I never felt that way before and I was still trying to wrap my head around it.
Peace. That was what I felt. In the middle of yet another panic attack, Alessio’s jacket brought me peace.
He brought me peace.
How was that even possible?
My mind was a mess when I walked into the kitchen, where Maddie and Lena were waiting for me. When I walked in, both of them gifted me with genuine happy smiles.
“Good morning,” Lena said, standing by the sink.
“Good morning,” I mumbled, trying to act as chirpy.
“What are you doing with that?” Maddie asked, pointing at the jacket in my hand.
I ran my hand over the soft fabric before replying. “I forgot to return it yesterday. So, I’m going to return it now.” I felt like I was in a daze.
Maddie took a big bite of her apple.
She stared at me with a strange expression and a smile on her face. Almost like she was having an inside joke with herself. She twisted her lips ruefully, trying very hard to hide that smile, but I still saw it.
I placed the jacket on the stool before turning to Lena. “I’ll help you set the table for breakfast.”
She nodded and handed me a tray of fruit. We were setting out the last plate when I saw Alessio and his men coming down the stairs.
They were all dressed in their black suits, as always. If it weren’t for the guns attached to them, they would have looked like high class businessmen.
But the guns kind of took that away. It made them look deadly instead.
Everyone took their seats in silence as Maddie and I discreetly walked away. Instead of going into the kitchen, I stopped at the entrance. I didn’t know what came over me, but I turned slightly and stared at Alessio from the corner of my eye.
I sucked in a shocked breath when I saw his focus already on me. Viktor was talking animatedly but Alessio wasn’t listening. His eyes, his whole attention was on me. Biting on my lips unconsciously, a shiver went through my body and I quickly swiveled around, breaking the connection.
“Ayla, hurry. I wanna get this done,” Maddie called from inside the kitchen.
“I’m coming,” I said softly. I walked in to find Maddie eating her breakfast, with another full plate beside her. She nodded toward the plate. We quickly ate, and then cleaned while the men were still eating.
By the time the kitchen was spotless, they had finished their breakfast. Maddie and I walked out to see them getting up, and everyone scattered around the house, returning to what they’d been doing before breakfast.
***
I walked into the kitchen to see Maddie holding a tray. As soon as she saw me, her face lit up and she gave me a huge smile. “Oh my God, you’re literally a life saver.”
Giving her a confused look, I untied my apron from my waist. “What do you mean?”
Instead of answering, she pushed the tray into my hand. She placed a glass full of white stuff on it. “What is this?” I asked.
“Protein. For Alessio. I need you to give this to him,” she said.
“What?” I didn’t want to see him. And I sure didn’t want to be in the same room as him. He was too intense. I had to stay away.
“Please. Do this for me,” she begged.
I shook my head. “Maddie, why can’t you go by yourself?”
“Because,” she replied, biting on her lips nervously. “You know…”
“Maddie?” I asked, raising my eyebrows in question.
She was about to say something else, but then stopped. I turned to see what she was looking at, and saw Artur walking by.
“Ayla!” Maddie whined. When I didn’t move, she glared at me and leaned forward to whisper in my ear. “He wants a quickie.”
I gasped, but said nothing.
“See! Now you understand,” she said. “C’mon, I can’t deny him anything. And we couldn’t do it for like two days. I’m sexually frustrated, Ayla.”
I couldn’t believe I was having this conversation.
“Close your mouth, Ayla.”