“I’m not leaving you alone.” Marco hesitates. “That’s what happened the first day we met, when I got into the fight in the quad. You had a flashback?”
Just hearing the word makes me cringe and reminds me that I can’t leave the old Frankie behind. The flashbacks are proof, and now Marco knows they happen all the time.
He knows what a mess I am.
I jump to my feet, desperate to put space between us. “Why do you care if I’m alone or if I have flashbacks? I’m not your problem.”
He stands, too. “What if I want you to be?”
It hits me, and I realize what’s going on. “Why? So you can add me to the list of girls you’ve slept with at Monroe? I hear it’s a long list.”
“Who told you that?”
“Are you saying it’s not true?” I ask as Marco walks toward me. “Or was the Frankie Devereux freak show a turnoff? At least you can tell your friends why the new girl lost her appeal. I don’t want to ruin your track record.”
He looks me in the eyes. “I won’t tell anyone what happened, Frankie.”
“Eventually, you will.”
I imagine walking through the halls, hearing the whispers and feeling the stares. Knowing what a basket case I am is hard enough. How will it feel when the whole school finds out?
Marco closes the distance between us. He touches my face, tracing a path across my jawline and over my bottom lip. “You don’t know me as well as you think. If you give me a chance, I might surprise you.”
CHAPTER 21
NOTHING TO LOSE
“Guess what my mother springs on me last night? Jonathan Strathmore,” Lex says as we drive back from the rec center on Thursday night. It’s seven thirty, and I’m racing for Cruz in less than two hours.
“The idiot from Saint John’s?”
She nods. “The one who wears pastel V-neck sweaters all the time. He looks like he raided the wardrobe of an eighty-year-old golfer. My mom wants me to go to the gala with him.”
“What did you tell her?”
“I said no.” Lex leans over the steering wheel and frowns as she pulls up to Dad’s building. “Isn’t that your mom’s car?”
Mom’s Lexus is parked next to Dad’s Tahoe.
This is not good.
I didn’t expect Dad to be home, let alone both my parents, who can’t stand being together in the same room.
“Do you want me to come in with you?” Lex pulls into the space on the other side of the Tahoe. “Your mom won’t make a scene if I’m there.”
“Yeah, okay.”
When we get to the door, I hold a finger up to my lips, signaling her to be quiet. My parents’ voices are muffled, but they’re talking.
My original plan for tonight was to hop in a cab as soon as Lex dropped me off, but that’s clearly not going to happen now.
I open the door. Mom is perched on the edge of the sofa, and Dad is standing across the room. They both look relieved they aren’t alone anymore.
Mom stands and rushes toward us. “Frankie. It’s so good to see you, sweetheart.” She leans in to hug me, but I pretend not to notice and slip past her. She doesn’t even flinch and turns to Lex. “It’s nice to see you, too, Lex.”
“Thanks, Mrs. Rutherford.”
“What’s going on, Mom?” We both know she wouldn’t show up here without a reason.
“I’ve been trying to reach you, but I keep getting your voice mail. So I decided to stop by and give you the good news myself.”
Dad rubs the back of his neck.
“Richard met with the dean of admissions at Stanford, and he is willing to interview you. Isn’t that fantastic? They rarely grant interviews, but Richard talked him into it.”
How much did that cost him?
“I never wanted to go to Stanford, Mom. It’s a great school, but I didn’t feel comfortable there when we visited.” She opens her mouth to respond, but I’m not finished. “It wasn’t the right place for me.”
Mom presses her lips together. “It’s the right place for anyone lucky enough to get in.” She looks at my father. “Did you turn her against the idea of going to Stanford?”
Dad raises his eyebrows and laughs. “It looks like you did that all on your own, Elise.”
“It has nothing to do with Dad. I’m not going to the interview.”
Mom’s posture turns rigid. “People don’t turn down interviews at Standard, and you won’t, either. Are you determined to sabotage your future?”
“Maybe your mother is right, Frankie.” Dad says. “You don’t have as many options as you did before.”
“I’m tired of everyone bringing up my mistakes.”
Mom crosses her arms. “Then you should stop making so many.”
“I’m sorry my mistakes are limiting your opportunities to live vicariously through me.” I storm back toward the apartment door, and Lex scrambles to keep up. I’m done talking to my mother. “Dad, I’m going to study at Lex’s. I’ll text you when I get there.”
“Frankie! Don’t you dare leave while we’re having a conversation.” Mom’s composure cracks.
I turn around and face my mother. “A conversation requires two people, which means we haven’t had one in a long time.”