I duck away from her and head toward the main table. It’s covered in a red plastic sheet and is loaded with snack foods. Stupid Dyl. His offer was hot, sure, and it would take a strong person to turn down that offer from someone as attractive as him, but Juliet is a strong person. She’ll say no. At least, I hope she will.
A thin boy with square glasses and blond hair sees me as I approach and smiles at me. He’s wearing a purple vest and tie over a white dress shirt, and he’s holding a microphone in his hands. His shirt sleeves have been rolled up, revealing a sleeve of tattoos on his forearms.
“Hi,” he says as I grab two plastic cups.
I grip the cups, making the thin plastic crinkle. “Hey … Sorry, do I know you?”
I scoop the ladle into the punch bowl, filling the metal spoon with purple liquid and a couple of floating blueberries. It smells like melted sugar.
“Not yet,” he says. “But that’s the whole point of things like this, isn’t it? To get to know people?”
“I guess.”
“And I’ve seen you around school and you seem like—”
I peer closer. Wait, is he blushing? He is: his cheeks are burning red even through the darkness. He chews his chapped bottom lip and looks me in the eye. “—someone I would like to spend some time with, if you, um, catch my drift.”
“I’ve gotta go,” I say, looking down at my two cups, which are now full. “See ya around, maybe?”
He grins. “Yeah, totally!”
I spin away and walk toward Juliet. What was that about?
She’s bobbing her head along to the beat, and the pink light reflects in her glassy eyes. I hand her a cup. She grabs it and takes a sip. “Who was that?”
“Huh?”
“That guy who was talking to you. It looked like he was asking you out.”
My eyebrows furrow. “Did he?”
“Well, what did he say to you?”
“He thought I seemed cool and he wanted to spend some time with me … if I ‘caught his drift.’ Huh, he was asking me out, wasn’t he? Wow, I didn’t even notice.”
She scoffs. “Boys can be so thick sometimes. Yes, Caden, he was asking you out. Are you going to say yes?”
I freeze. “No.”
“Why not?” she asks. “Caden, it’s not a big deal if you’re gay. You know that, right?”
“This isn’t Tumblr, Juliet, straight men do exist here. I like girls.”
She laughs, and the tense moment passes. Whew.
“Sorry,” she says. “I know it’s a horrendous cliché, but you’re so well put together, and so handsome, and it’s not like it would matter to me if you were, but I’ll admit I was curious about your sexuality. Because sometimes I can’t tell if you’re flirting with me or if we’re just really good friends.”
Ask her out now.
What?
Right now. Tell her it would matter to you because then it means you wouldn’t like her. Which you do.
“We are good friends,” I say. “But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t flirting with you.”
I don’t think my heart has ever beat so fast. If I screw this up, I’m a dead man. Also, Kaylee was listening in. Now she knows what I honestly think, and that’s absolutely terrifying. It could become an issue for me down the road, but I can’t stress about it now. I need to focus on Juliet.
“Oh,” she says.
“I like you, Juliet. I always have. But I’m not a boy anymore, I’m a man, and I like you in a way that I didn’t before. And I would love to go out with you sometime.”
“I’m going to stop you there,” she says.
Everything slows down and all I can think about is the LIC, with its shiny mirrors, neon-white lights, and skintight, sky-blue clothes. I failed. I failed so I’m going back. I was too forward too soon and I screwed everything up. I—
“Yes,” she continues. I finally look up at her, just in time to see her smile. “I would absolutely love to go out with you! So there’s no need to stress. Pick something for us to do and ask me properly then, because I’m guessing this was an impulse and you should make a plan. Also, I don’t want to think that you asked me out to prove you aren’t gay. We’re too special for that, and if we end up together for a long time I don’t want this to be the story of how you first asked me out. Oh God, I’m going to leave now before you think I have this big plan for our future, like a notebook filled with Mrs. Walker doodles or something. Which I don’t! Truly. Ugh, I’m shutting up now. I’m going to go and find Nat and Trev. So bye.”
She dashes away.
Did I do well, Kaylee? She said yes. That’s good, right?
I don’t know. It’s too early to tell, but she seemed a little bit uncertain. The date you take her on is going to have to be an absolute killer.
I walk into the crowd. The beat coming from the massive speakers makes my entire body vibrate. I slide between two girls and suddenly I’m surrounded by bodies. Facial features are only detectable when the neon lights flash. I roll my shoulders and crack my neck, then I start to dance. The music is good, and eventually I start to drift away, focusing only on my movements and the beat. I run my fingers through my hair, messing it up, and lose myself to the music.
CADEN!
What?
Juliet! Go to her now!
I shove my way through the crowd. People scowl at me as I pass.
She’s at the back of the gym. With Dyl. Alone. Run!
I finally break out of the mosh and stop beside the food table. I can see her. No, I can see them. At the back of the gym, a muscled, naked back is writhing against her. The wings bob up and down as he sucks like a vampire at the spot of skin beneath her ear. She’s pressed against the wall. He pulls his mouth away from her glowing white skin and runs his hand through her hair. And then he leans forward and whispers something.
STOP THEM, CADEN!
Their lips touch. She closes her eyes and slides her tongue into his mouth. My blood turns to slushy ice water. Around me the sound and movement of the party continue in slow motion, but all I can see is the two people in the shadow of the bleachers.
Kissing.
Tears fill my eyes.
“Caden?”
I blink rapidly and turn. Natalie and Trevor are walking toward me.
“Oh man,” says Trev. “That totally sucks. I’m so sorry, dude.”
Natalie reaches to grab my hand. I flinch away. “Are you okay, Caden?”
“Peachy, Natalie. I just … I’m going to go.”
To get to the exit I have to pass Dyl and Juliet. But all I can think about is the door, so I break away from Natalie and Trevor and head toward the closed double doors. There’s a long, empty stretch between me and the exit. Every step feels like it takes an eternity.
I wipe my eyes as I reach the door.
“Caden?”
It’s Juliet.