“What costume party?” I ask.
“Yeah, there’s going to be one, I’m sure you’ll hear about it soon. Judy wanted our love story to have a big moment, so she sent a donation to the school board in order to fund it. Anyway, I’m going to be dressed as a devil. My costume is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen. It’s a red domino mask and horns, and then I’m shirtless, with a pair of these pointed bat wings attached to my back, and then red leather pants. I’m going to look like a total fool. Plus, I have to do so many crunches to look good in it that my abs hurt all the time. Like, even right now, they ache.” He pats his stomach. “Right here.”
“And you’re going to kiss her?”
He scratches the back of his hand. “Yeah, I am.”
That sort of hangs in the air for a while.
“Are you looking forward to it?”
He fidgets. “I guess. I mean, the only practice I’ve had is during kissing classes, so I’m worried about screwing it up. Kissing has to be more than a physical skill, right? Because I know about lip pressure and when to use tongue and all that, but what about the connection? What if I screw that up? I just don’t think a perfect kiss is something that can be taught.”
“I feel the same. I wish there was a way to get better at it.”
My heart is pounding. Can he hear it?
God, I hope he can’t hear it.
“I’ve got an idea,” he says, and he leans forward, fixing his eyes on the dark horizon. He’s all jittery, like an excited puppy. “Come with me.”
I remain in my spot. “Where are we going?”
“Have you ever been for a drive? And I’m not talking about in the limo on the way here. I’m talking an actual drive, with the wind in your hair, the whole sky above you, and the world in front of you. It’s the most amazing thing in the world, and I’d like to show it to you.”
“Of course not.” I roll my eyes at my own bluntness. “I mean, no, I haven’t.”
“Would you like to?”
I nod. “But first, I need to know something.”
“I’ll tell you anything. What’s up?”
I exhale, yet it doesn’t release the cramped, cold feeling in my chest. I have to warn him about me. Otherwise this will all be over in a few weeks and he’ll be dead. The other option is that he’s playing me, and if that’s the case, I need him to know I’m not falling for his act.
“Why did you tell me your whole plan?”
He doesn’t flinch, not even for a second.
“Huh,” he says as his eyes widen. “I guess I did. Put that on the list of stupid things I’ve done.”
“Don’t lie. If you were that stupid you never would’ve made it through the tests at the LIC.”
“You think I’m playing you?”
“I’m not an idiot, so yes, I think you’re playing me. I know what our relationship is. Hell, it’s pretty much all I can think about sometimes. And then nights like this come along and my guard goes down and I start having a good time until you do something suspicious like tell me your whole plan and then I feel like an idiot. Because we’re rivals, Dyl. We aren’t supposed to get along. And if you think I’m not going to use everything you just told me against you, then, well, I think you underestimated me. Trust me, I’m not a threat you can dismiss.”
He closes his mouth and turns to the left. When he looks back, his eyes are slightly glassy. “You’re one of the very few people on earth I can be honest with. I know that’s not something you can give me in return, and that’s fine, it’s who you are, but I’m not built to lie. It turns me into a man I hate. So, trust me, I know I could be handing you the gun that shoots me. I really do. But I can’t keep lying to everyone all the time. You … you’re a vent. Telling you the truth keeps me sane.”
“Please don’t call me a vent.”
He looks down and chews his bottom lip.
“I prefer controlled burn,” I say.
“Done. Now that that’s out of the way, CB, do you want to go for a drive with me? I promise I’m not playing you and I promise you won’t regret it.”
I nod. “Lead the way.”
Together, we leap down from the roof and cross the damp grass to his car. It’s a black convertible. It’s not sleek like most modern ones: it’s big and boxy, and it looks a little bit like a monster.
“I want one,” I say.
He opens the passenger door for me. I step inside and sit down. I can feel the cold, smooth leather even through my sweater. It smells dry and earthy and perfect.
“I’d let you drive,” he says as he gets situated in the driver’s seat, “but Judy would have an absolute fit. She thinks this car is like the ultimate way to make Juliet fall in love with me. Like, she’d take one look at it and instantly throw herself at me. If I crashed it they wouldn’t need a Stalker. Judy would rip me apart all on her own.”
I lean back in my seat. There’s no headrest, so my head sits against the top of the seat. I curl my body slightly so that my cheek rests against the leather.
“I don’t want to talk about that. Just drive.”
And drive he does. The world around me turns into a blur of darkness, broken only by the glowing golden orbs of the streetlights. We drive over a bridge, high above a vast stretch of navy water. I turn my head and look at him.
He’s staring forward, his face set once again in a determined look, the same one he used when he was reading from the book of poetry. Both his hands are gripping the steering wheel tight. Without moving his head, he moves his hand down to grab the stick shift, and his foot kicks forward, changing gears. The engine makes a soft roar and the car surges forward.
The sight of him makes me smile.
My eyes widen, and I sit up straighter.
Crap. Ohhhhhhh crap.
I like him.
The realization crystallizes in my mind, making every encounter I’ve had with him make so much more sense than it previously did. Or maybe it’s not so much a like, but I definitely feel something for him. Something more than most guys feel toward other guys.
I imagine him laughing on the plane, then I picture myself looking at him and recall how the sight of him laughing made me laugh harder. Nope, there’s no need to lie to myself. I like him. Crap! I like him. Good job, brain, you can’t have him, so you decide you want him. Typical.