My left wrist is throbbing. I cradle it against my chest as I sift through drawers for a first-aid kit. I tie it up, and then run a bath. When I rinse the last few days off my skin, it turns the water a pale brown.
Whenever I jar my wrist, J’s actions flash through my mind again. I push them away, focusing on just cleaning myself. One step at a time. Once I’m clean, then I can decide what to do next. Then I can think about all the things I need to do: get back in touch with Molly; learn how to operate this ship; wait for The Infinity to catch up; get rid of the bodies. But for now, all I need to do is clean myself. Brush my hair. Find some clothes. Eat.
One step at a time. Slow and easy. Nothing scary. Nothing to fill me with horror, or freeze me with indecision.
I close my eyes, tipping my head back and letting the water fill my ears until the low throbbing of the ship’s rotation disappears into a heavy silence.
Nice and simple.
HOURS SINCE THE ETERNITY CAUGHT UP:
135
Three days later, I finally feel like I can breathe again. I’ve spent most of that time in bed watching TV. Not Loch & Ness – not yet. There are too many reminders of J in everything Jayden says. I watch films instead; every Christmas and holiday romance I can find on The Eternity’s hard drive.
I can’t stop watching. Whenever I go to the kitchen or bathroom, or try to sleep, or even just look away from the screen, J’s face flashes through my mind.
I know I’m going to have to face the memories eventually. I’ve been through this before, when Dad died. Molly used to tell me that I couldn’t just pretend it hadn’t happened. That I had to work through my feelings and accept them.
But I’m not ready. Not yet.
The only comfort is that I’m not frightened of my mother any more. The thought of Mum just makes me feel achingly, tearfully sad. Which, I think, is an odd kind of progress.
I finally understand her, for the first time in years. I know why she did the things she did. I know why she found it so hard to spend time with me after the deaths of the crew. I don’t blame her. I even miss her now.
She was trying to deal with the bad decisions she’d made in the best way she knew how. She never meant to hurt any of us. She was just too weak, too lost, too guilty.
Everything I am, I get from my parents. I would never have survived J – survived life alone on The Infinity – if it wasn’t for the skills they have given me. My mother taught me about emergency protocols, first aid and ship maintenance. I wouldn’t have known how to detach the wires in the door to escape J, if it hadn’t been for her advice all those years ago. She saved my life.
I’ve done some horrifying things; things I never thought I was capable of. But it was right. I don’t doubt that. It could have been a lot worse. For once, I did what I needed to do. I didn’t panic. I didn’t cry. I just did it.
When I run out of romcoms and my legs start to spasm from lying in one position for too long, I begin to explore the ship. At first, I check around every corner. Some part of my brain is still convinced that J is lying in wait, ready to pounce. But as I cover more ground, I start to relax.
I’m alone. He’s gone, for ever. I defended myself, and I never need to be scared of him again.
When I open the door of a room near the sick bay, it takes me a long time to process what’s inside. Pods. Hundreds of them. Stasis chambers stretch as far as I can see.
As soon as I realize what it means – that the new ship is full of sleeping people, and they are grown-ups, not just embryos – I burst into tears.
I hadn’t imagined there would be any stasis pods on this ship, not after the astronauts died last time. But NASA must have fixed the technology. All this time, J was just the caretaker who stayed awake for the journey. He wasn’t the main passenger.
When I read the name ISAAC EVANS on the front of one of the pods, my tears increase with relief. J didn’t kill him, like I suspected. There’s someone inside, so he must have forced him into stasis so he could get me alone.
I walk the aisles, running my hands across the pods. NASA have sent me a whole colony. There are hundreds of people, right here. I’m never going to be alone again.
I wipe away my tears, and press the REVIVE button on the nearest pod.
HAPPILY EVER AFTER
by TheLoneliestGirl
Fandom: Loch & Ness (2042) Relationship: Gen Tags: Space AU
Summary: Lyra is finally at peace.
Author’s note:
Hi Earth, (Hi Molly!)
It’s been a long time. A lot has happened recently, but I’m not quite sure how to put it into words.
The ships have met and joined together now. The Eternity did have to slow down for a while and wait for The Infinity to catch up, but we recovered the speed. Our estimated arrival date on Earth II is now November 2071. I’ll be twenty.
For once, I’m not scared. I can’t wait. I’m not sure what it will be like on Earth II, or what problems we might have to deal with during the rest of our journey. But whatever happens, I think I can handle it.
Molly, I can’t say that I’ve become the confident, brave woman you hoped I would, but I think I’m getting there. I think I’m going to be OK, Molly. I really do.
Love, Romy
Lyra wiped sweat off her forehead, peering up into the pink sky. She stretched out her back, which ached after a morning spent planting seedlings.
The three moons gleamed brightly overhead, crossing the sky in a not-quite-straight line. Only a few more minutes until they aligned, she decided.
She pulled out her water bottle and drank deeply, eyes following The Infinite Eternity as it landed in a cloud of luminescent dust, bringing in a cargo of minerals to the colony from the next planet over.
“Happy anniversary!” a little girl said as she ran down the lane.
Lyra smiled after her, watching an excitable puppy jump around at the girl’s ankles. When she looked back up at the sky, the moons had made a perfect stripe across the horizon.
“Five years today,” Lyra murmured, hardly able to believe it. “Doesn’t time fly?”
fin.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Thank you to my agent, Claire Wilson, and my editors, Emily McDonnell, Emilia Rhodes and Annalie Grainger. You’ve been the dream team. Thanks to everyone at Walker Books, Rogers, Coleridge & White and HarperCollins US, especially Rosie Price, Rosi Crawley, Katarina Jovanovic, Gill Evans, Sorrel Packham, Claudia Medin, Maria Soler Cantón and Iree Pugh.
This novel was supported by an Arts Council England grant.
Thank you to the Ogden Trust for inviting me on a physics symposium during Lower Sixth, where I learnt about special relativity and struggled over a time dilation calculation which inspired this novel. You can read a similar question in the book.
As usual, thank you to my family and friends. Especially Chris for being a sounding board while I calculated transmission dates on my ridiculous Excel spreadsheet, Sarah for #SaveRomySilvers, Alice for the late-night guidance counselling and Mum for the tireless proofreading.
This is a work of fiction. As such, some of the more complex aspects of space travel have been simplified for the sake of the narrative.