The List

“That’s what we’re about to find out,” muttered Worth, turning to sit down in a club chair. “It seems your brother has been on a fairly nice vacation from the looks of it.” He looked pointedly at our hands. “Any reason for that, Hawk?”


“Liane and I were married in May. You may as well know now. That was our honeymoon.” Hawks’ voice was not defensive — it was simply a statement. The tension was tremendous in the room. “There’s more,” he continued. “You’re both about to become grandparents.”

“Oh!” Auggie squealed and leapt up to hug me. Worth didn’t move an inch.

“Auggie, you knew about this?” Worth asked, his voice deadly quiet.

“Well, not about the baby, but I knew they were married,” she admitted, still holding my hands.

“Did you go to the wedding?”

Auggie hesitated and only I knew why. “We weren’t invited,” she said finally, and I felt terrible for her. She couldn’t win.

“We weren’t invited to our son’s wedding?” he repeated, each word a staccato.

Auggie fell silent. She had asked not to be put in the middle of this and yet that’s where she was.

I felt I was the only one who could rationally put this into words. “It was partially my decision.”

“No, Liane, don’t,” Hawk spoke up. “It didn’t have anything to do with her. It was my decision. You and I have not and will never see eye to eye. The tension in the room at this very moment is proof of that. I felt if you and Mom came to the wedding, there would be some discomfort. I didn’t want that for Liane’s wedding day. It was extremely small. Liane’s father performed the ceremony, and we each had one witness. That was it. You can’t get much smaller than that. We left immediately after for Australia.”

“Paybacks, eh, Hawk?” Worth spat.

“Worth, don’t!” Auggie was getting upset, and Mark came up to stand behind her, his hand on her shoulder in support.

“Well, who in the hell gets married and doesn’t want their parents there?” He was getting increasingly angry.

“I did,” Hawk said in a firm voice, “and I would do it again. After all, I didn’t think you’d mind. You missed my sixteenth birthday, my eighteen. I don’t remember you being there when I turned twenty or twenty-one. Oh, college graduation? Nope, not there either. What was one more event in my life where you didn’t show up?”

Mark spoke up. “Well, I think it was a rotten thing to do. You’re so incredibly selfish! You haven’t gotten anything you didn’t deserve. You come back here like some sort of prodigal son and expect everyone to tiptoe around your feelings. You have Mom feeling so guilty that she’s been dealing with horrible depression over all this. You weren’t there for Grandpa when he died because you couldn’t be bothered. You’re an ass, Hawk or Ford or whatever the hell your name is. As for me, I’m sick of the whole mess. Go back where you came from!”

Auggie’s mouth was hanging open. I could tell she’d never heard anything remotely like that from her youngest son. He was such a kind and respectful young man. My heart broke for her but knew enough to stay out of it. The atmosphere was charged with energy and it actually felt painful to me.

Worth didn’t let it rest, though. “Mark! That’s enough! Apologize this moment!”

“No, no, I won’t!” Mark yelled then turned on his father. “This is actually your fault, you know. I’ve heard the stories, don’t think I haven’t. You were wild. Too wild for your own good. You’ve been in trouble with all kinds of people. You alienated him,” he pointed to Hawk, “just because you were too busy to be a good parent. Well, look what you’ve earned. He’s just like you, damn you! Distant, self-absorbed, calculating. He hates me. Look at the way he’s glaring at me! Did you once bring your children together and have any sort of family talk? Did you once ask any of us how we felt about this whole mess?” Mark was literally spitting with anger.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Marga sneak in, probably hoping to go unseen to her room. She paused and straightened, then came to stand in the doorway. She didn’t look happy about what she was hearing, particularly that Mark was so upset. Auggie was crying by this time, which fueled Mark all the more. Marga’s face was flushed, and I knew she wanted to put in her two cents’ worth, but all her privileges lay with Worth’s permission. She was just like him. She wouldn’t risk losing anything she wanted by sticking up for someone.

Mark wasn’t done. “I can’t believe you even love Mom,” he threw at Worth. “You’ve put her through hell and knew you were doing it! You see this farm? You know what this is? This is my inheritance, Dad. Keep it! I don’t want anything from you because everything you’ve touched was for yourself. This farm was Mom’s attempt to have a family home. You can give all your money to the people who are just like you. Him!” Mark finished, pointing at Hawk once again.

“I don’t want his damned money, you little shit! You think that means anything to me?” Hawk was on his feet, screaming. “I only wanted what you had. A family. And you, damn you, you can’t even be that for me, can you? You think it might cost you something? A little bit of your mealy mouth reputation? You think you’re better than me!”

“To hell with you!” Mark shouted, his young man’s voice crackling with the effort. “To hell with the both of you!” He stormed from the room, and the front door slammed.

“Ohhhhhh, boy,” Marga cooed and started up the stairs. “Tell me if the house catches fire from all that hot air,” she called over her shoulder as she went.

Auggie was visibly shaking and crying. Hawk’s face was flushed and very angry. Worth sat stunned except for the muscle jerking in his cheek.

“Excuse me, but I need some air.” I stood up and made it to the porch before I heaved the contents of my stomach all over a bush. Hawk was right behind me.

“C’mon, Liane. Let’s get you home.”

“Thank you,” was all I could muster and although the drive was short, I had the window down the whole time.

Once I’d settled my stomach with some saltines, I found Hawk on the patio. He was still steaming. I sat down next to him and waited for him to talk. I had another life to worry about now, and I was trying very hard not to pick up Hawk’s extreme anger.

“Can you believe that?” he began the rant.

I just sort of shrugged and nodded. I was trying to subdue him.

“That little shit telling me off like that? I hate the little sonofabitch. Spoiled brat. He thinks he has the world eating out of his pale little hands. Jesus Christ! Where does he get off talking to me like that?”

I let a few moments pass. “I felt sorry for Auggie, to tell you the truth. She didn’t ask for any of this, you know. She’s been through a lot and not been the cause of any of it.”