“That’s a lie,” Cole said. “She—”
“Everybody shut up!” Mr. Barlow said. He put his hands to the sides of his head, as if his skull were about to explode. “I don’t want to hear another word out of any of you.” He glowered at Cole. “Go ahead, marry her and put her in the elephant show. But I’m warning you, she’s messed up every act she’s ever been in, so if anything goes wrong or ticket sales drop, it’ll be both your heads on a platter.” Then he addressed Merrick. “He’s right, you got your money out of Lilly and then some. It’s time to move on. She’s an employee of my circus now, and I don’t own any of my employees.”
Lilly couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Standing there in a ripped evening gown with a swollen face, melted mascara under her eyes, every muscle aching and sore, it was all she could do not to cry tears of joy.
*
A week later, Lilly and Cole were married somewhere in the middle of Louisiana, beneath a giant willow near a slow-moving creek. Glory, Ruby, and Rosy hung candle-filled mason jars from the moss-covered branches, the roustabouts lugged benches over from the big top, and sideshow and big-top performers alike gathered around to bear witness. The circus band played the “Wedding March,” and the Tallest Man on Earth—a self-ordained minister—performed the ceremony. Hester the Monkey Girl let Lilly borrow a wedding dress she’d been saving since she was fourteen—a simple white gown with a beaded bodice, cap sleeves, and a lace-tiered skirt—and Cole wore the equestrian director’s best tuxedo. The guests arrived wearing everything from tuxedoes and band uniforms to evening gowns, flapper dresses, tutus, and hula skirts. After the ceremony, Lilly and Cole made their way between the cars as the train traveled to the next destination, accepting congratulations and offers of food and drink. Then everyone herded them into a private sleeper car—gleefully vacated by Mr. and Mrs. Benini, owners of the snow cone and cotton candy stands—and left them alone. At midnight, Lilly lay in Cole’s strong arms, amazed that her life had turned out so well.
If Momma hadn’t sold her to the circus, she never would have met Cole. And right now, in this moment, she was so content and grateful, forgiveness almost seemed possible, like a shimmering jewel waiting for her to reach out and take it. But then she remembered the pain of all she had been through and everything she had endured, and the idea of mercy left her mind. Some wounds cut too deep. What her parents had done, locking her in the attic for ten years and selling her to the circus, was unforgivable. It wasn’t like Momma was here asking for forgiveness anyway. She didn’t think she had done anything wrong. Lilly wondered what Momma would think if she could see her now, loved by friends, happily married, and about to work with elephants under the big top. Would she be proud of her, or did her hatred run so deep it overshadowed anything good?
For the next two weeks, Cole and Lilly worked on the elephant act inside a practice ring set up at the back end of each stop. Every now and then, Mr. Barlow checked in to see how it was going and seemed delighted with their progress. Pepper especially seemed to read Lilly’s mind. Wherever Lilly walked or ran, she followed, trunk in the air, mouth open in a smile. If Lilly lifted her foot, Pepper lifted a foot. Without a spoken word of instruction, Pepper stood on her hind legs or scooped Lilly up with her trunk and gently placed her on her neck behind her ears. Cole and his father had never seen anything like it. And Lilly was happier than she ever thought possible. But sometimes she noticed Merrick watching from the corner of a nearby tent, his face tight, anger radiating from his pores like heat from a desert. It unsettled her.
Finally, the big day came for Lilly to make her first appearance under the big top. Dressed in a white leotard with a flowing chiffon skirt decorated with silver crystals and beads, her hair braided into a soft bun, she walked barefoot over to the big top, her white ballet slippers in her hands. Cole had left their car earlier to help his father bring over the elephants, and the other performers and animals were already lining up outside the connecting entrance to the arena, waiting to be summoned by the shrill note of Mr. Barlow’s whistle to start the grand parade.
Her stomach twisting with nerves, Lilly searched the lineup for Cole. The other bulls were there, but Cole and Pepper were nowhere to be seen. She hurried over to ask Hank what was going on.
He started to answer, then looked over her shoulder behind her. “Here they come now.”
Lilly turned, anxious and excited all at the same time. But when she saw Cole and Pepper, her heart sank. Something was wrong. Pepper was white as a sheet and Cole looked miserable. She rushed toward them.
“What happened?” she cried. “What’s wrong with her?”
“Nothing’s wrong with her,” Cole said. “Mr. Barlow had new posters made featuring you with an albino elephant.”
Lilly’s mouth fell open. “But how . . .”
“Whitewash.”
Pepper’s eyes were red and watery, irritated from the paint.
“You poor thing,” Lilly said. She gently touched Pepper’s trunk. “How could he?”
Just then, Mr. Barlow strode toward them, smiling in his top hat, white jodhpurs, and red jacket. “It’s a full house,” he said. “Thanks to you and this beautiful elephant here. Now hurry up and get in line. Just remember, keep her away from the rubes. We don’t want any trampled children, no matter how annoying they are.”
Lilly wanted to say something to him about whitewashing Pepper, but starting an argument before her first show would only make her more nervous. She put on her ballet slippers and Pepper lifted her onto her back, then they started toward JoJo, Flossie, and Petunia. A team of black Percherons hitched to the lion wagons danced sideways when they passed, and the clowns stared up at them, their eyes wide in their painted faces. The other performers watched with shocked expressions. Cole climbed up on JoJo and instructed Lilly to bring Pepper up beside them. Lilly did as she was told.
“This is it,” Cole said. “You ready?”
“I’m scared,” Lilly said. “What if—”
“You’ll do fine,” he said. “You’ve rehearsed it a hundred times. Just stay calm and remember, Pepper will know if you’re on edge.”