The Life She Was Given

*

After the doors were closed for the night and the last of the rubes had left the lot, after the clowns had wiped the final traces of face paint from their foreheads, and the animals were put back in their pens, everyone gathered outside the train to celebrate Dina the Living Half Girl’s birthday. The night air was thick with humidity, and a waxing moon cast long shadows from trees lining one side of the lot, turning tents and wagons into dark, otherworldly looking shapes.

Mrs. Benini, co-owner of the snow cone and cotton candy stands, made a white birthday cake with strawberry frosting, and Madame Zelda, the gypsy fortune-teller, brought homemade apple moonshine. Rosy and Ruby decorated an open-air tent with rugs and tables and pillows for sitting, and Magnus the Ugliest Man Alive helped Brutus the Texas Giant hang lanterns in the trees. Normally, the big-top performers steered clear of the sideshow parties, but Lilly persuaded Cole to come anyway.

“Everyone!” she called across the crowd. “This is my friend Cole. Please make him welcome.”

Aldo the Alligator Man lurched forward, his hand outstretched. “We know who he iz,” he said, his eyes shining. “He’s alwayz welcome here.” He shook Cole’s hand, pumping it vigorously up and down while swaying on drunken legs. “Right, everybody?”

The party guests whistled and laughed. Cole grinned and put a hand on Aldo’s shoulder to steady him. Glory winked at Lilly, and heat rose in Lilly’s cheeks. Aldo threw his arm around Belinda the Woman with Two Bodies and One Head and they staggered off. Rosy and Ruby pulled Cole into the crowd and Lilly followed, amazed by how happy she felt.

After the cake was cut and eaten, someone brought out a record player and the roustabouts fashioned a dance floor out of boxcar ramps. Wine bottles were passed and mason jars were refilled with moonshine, and it didn’t take long for Lilly’s head to start swimming. She retreated beneath one of the trees to catch her breath. Cole came over to find her.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” she said. “But I think I’ve had enough moonshine.”

He laughed. “Me too. It’s potent stuff.”

She circled the tree to the other side and sat down, leaning against the bark. Cole sat beside her and they both grew quiet. She started to ask if he was still taking the elephants over to the farm pond when off to her left, a woman moaned. Lilly and Cole got to their feet at the same time and looked at each other with alarm. The woman moaned again and a man grunted. Cole and Lilly moved toward the sound, then stopped in their tracks. In the long grass, a man lay between a woman’s bare legs, his pants down, his scaly buttocks moving up and down. It was Aldo and Belinda.

Lilly put a hand over her mouth to stifle a laugh and she and Cole went back to the party. Magnus the World’s Ugliest Man was carrying a half-conscious Dina out of the tent toward the train, and Rosy and Ruby lay on either side of Brutus the Texas Giant in the pillows, alternating between kissing him and running their fingers up and down his chest. “The Way You Look Tonight” by Fred Astaire was playing on the record player, but the makeshift dance floor was empty except for Penelope the Singing Midget and Stubs the Smallest Man in the World slow dancing with their heads on each other’s shoulders.

“Looks like the party’s dying down,” Cole said.

Just then, running hooves pounded off to their right and a man yelled, “Look out!”

Two zebras headed straight for Cole and Lilly, followed by three men with whips and lead lines. Cole stepped into the zebras’ path and waved his arms to slow them down. The first zebra veered off to one side and slid to a stop between the train and the party tent. The second zebra followed and they reared up on their hind legs, squealing and kicking each other, hooves and tails flying. The first zebra bit the second zebra in the neck, and the second zebra spun around and kicked him in the head with his back hooves. The first zebra retreated, frantic and galloping toward Lilly and Cole. The men caught up to the second zebra and threw a rope around its neck. It tried to get away, but they held on and wrestled a halter onto its head.

Lilly hurried toward the zebra racing toward her and Cole.

“What are you doing?” Cole shouted.

Lilly ignored him. She cut the zebra off before it turned toward the lot, and held out her arms. “Slow down now,” she said. “Easy, easy.”

The zebra slowed to a trot, then a walk, then stopped in front of Lilly, head held high, ears twitching. The men holding the other zebra stood stock-still, watching with wide eyes. Lilly sensed Cole behind her, moving closer. She held her hand out toward the zebra, palm up.

“Come on, I won’t hurt you,” she said in a soft voice. The zebra lowered its head and sniffed her hand, its muzzle like velvet on her skin. Ever so slowly, she took a step toward it and reached up to rub its forehead.

“Come on, Lilly,” Cole whispered behind her. “Step away from him before—”

“Shhhh,” Lilly said to Cole as much as to the zebra. “Stay right there. Everything is going to be all right.”

She rubbed the zebra’s face until it lowered its head and its striped shoulders relaxed. When it blinked as if falling asleep, Lilly moved closer to scratch the length of its neck, up and down, back and forth, her nails raking through its black and white hair. After another minute, during which the zebra looked like it was in a trance, she stopped and started walking toward the menagerie. The zebra lifted its head and followed, his nose near her shoulder. The men with the other zebra waited until she passed, then trailed them at a safe distance. Cole followed too. When they reached the menagerie, she led the zebra inside and back into its stall. After giving it another good long scratch, she moved out of the stall and latched the door. Cole stood watching, his mouth hanging open.

“You know that’s a stallion, right?” he said.

She shrugged. “No, the only thing I know is he was hurt and afraid.”

“Jesus, Lilly. You could have been injured.”

“I’m fine.”

The men secured the other zebra a few stalls away and came over to Lilly and Cole.

“How the hell did you do that?” one of them said. He was slightly taller than Cole, with wavy hair and broad shoulders. Lilly recognized him and the others as acrobats, a troupe called The Flying Zoppe Brothers. Normally they wouldn’t have given Lilly, or any of the other freaks, the time of day.

“I’ve never seen anything like it,” one of the other brothers said.

Cole glowered at them. “How the hell did the zebras get out?”

“Mr. Barlow wants us to incorporate horses or zebras into our act,” the wavy-haired brother said. “We thought we’d see what we could come up with.”

“Without the equestrian director’s help or permission,” Cole said. It wasn’t a question.

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